Lol, Internet

[Remington]

I dunno, I think living in the future is pretty cool, so far.

This future blows chunks.

I was promised way better than this shit.  I mean, some of the gadgets we have are pretty cool and were never mentioned, but the really IMPORTANT stuff ISN'T FUCKING HERE.

DUDE, I have 600 music albums on a thing that fits in my pocket!

I bet the young people will have teleportation and eternal youth by the time our old asses are hitting the grave.

Damn right we will.
And we'll use it to teleport bombs into each other's government buildings.

[Dimocritus]

"HOLY SHIT IT WORKED"

I'm going to yell this everytime I do anything on a computer. In public, especially.

[Doktor Howl]

Like flying cars.

This is a horrible idea.
Still, though, we have already have these.

Heavier than air flying cars are a terrible idea.  What we need is a four-passenger rigid-framed aerostat.

Fuck you all.  Ford Expeditions in the air or GTFO.

Also, Raquel Welch in a brass bra.  KTHXBYE.

[Doktor Howl]

I dunno, I think living in the future is pretty cool, so far.

This future blows chunks.

I was promised way better than this shit.  I mean, some of the gadgets we have are pretty cool and were never mentioned, but the really IMPORTANT stuff ISN'T FUCKING HERE.

DUDE, I have 600 music albums on a thing that fits in my pocket!

I bet the young people will have teleportation and eternal youth by the time our old asses are hitting the grave.

There are two inventions that will spell the end of the human race.

1.  The holodeck.

2.  Teleportation.

[Doktor Howl]

Yes I can see the Holodeck, because, well, no one would ever come out, you've seen how nuts people go over none holographic world of warcrafts and the like, but teleportation?

I can't see it?

I know I'm missing something obvious. Ok, it would be the end of border control, and I guess everyone from the poor countries would instantly want to be in the better places, so that would be a bit of a riot, and well, vaults and banks are useless for keeping any money in, so I guess the economy would fart, but ...

LOL LET'S TELEPORT A NUKE INTO KIM JUNG IL'S HOUSE GOOD THING HE'LL NEVER THINK OF...

[Eater of Clowns]

DUDE, I have 600 music albums on a thing that fits in my pocket!

I bet the young rich people will have teleportation and eternal youth by the time our old asses are hitting the grave.

Fixed for truth.

And awesome OP.

[Rumckle]

I can see teleportation working if you can only teleport into another teleportation machine.

Plus by the time they develop it you will probably be able to trace the teleport paths.

Holodecks though 

[Jasper]

No point in breaking reality with tellyportas when you can just make telepresent robot avatars on the cheap.

[Rococo Modem Basilisk]

It's funny.

We've all got interconnected supercomputers that even the most insane pre 1970's sci fi writer would have had a wet cyberdream over, and we do ... this.

what we are doing now.

not saying its not GREAT because, well, shit it is, but ... ah hell I lost my point.

Bloody great story though Remmington.

inorite

We've got this gigantic, incredibly efficient high speed network that spans the entire globe... and we use it to send pictures of funny cats to each other.
And porn, of course. Lots of porn.

Global Brain theory, TL;DR version: LOLcats and copypasta are just a few of the fundamental patterns of transmission for a global superorganism so awesome that it has humans for neurons. If it lives past the toddler stage, there is still no real evidence that it will ever get tired of porn and kittens with poor spelling.

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

Annabel the Destroyer approves of this thread.

Also, it blows my mind that I carry in my pocket a computer that is drastically more capable and more powerful than the most powerful computers I ever had access to when I was a kid. In 10-15 years I will probably be carrying something that puts the craziest computers I've ever built up to this point to shame on all fronts.

[Jasper]

You could run around saying "THERE'S A SUPERCOMPUTER IN MY ASS!!!"

[Triple Zero]

In 10-15 years I will probably be carrying something that puts the craziest computers I've ever built up to this point to shame on all fronts.

an STD?

[Jasper]

completely unrelated question:

does an iphone wrapped in a condom count as a supercomputer?

YES.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Yes I can see the Holodeck, because, well, no one would ever come out, you've seen how nuts people go over none holographic world of warcrafts and the like, but teleportation?

I can't see it?

I know I'm missing something obvious. Ok, it would be the end of border control, and I guess everyone from the poor countries would instantly want to be in the better places, so that would be a bit of a riot, and well, vaults and banks are useless for keeping any money in, so I guess the economy would fart, but ...

Teleportation, if expensive and controllable, will create a new level of warfare. If inexpensive and accessible, it will spell the end of government because governments rely on the ability to control people's movement. Either way, as much research is going into teleportation, whoever invents it first will most likely use it to annihilate everyone else, OR they will suppress it entirely.

Unless some rogue physicist team secretively invents a cheap, reliable teleportation device that anyone can build at home using a potato, a mirror, some tin foil, and a copper wire, and then leaks the information onto the Internet. End of the world, right there. For a while, anyway.

[Remington]

Yes I can see the Holodeck, because, well, no one would ever come out, you've seen how nuts people go over none holographic world of warcrafts and the like, but teleportation?

I can't see it?

I know I'm missing something obvious. Ok, it would be the end of border control, and I guess everyone from the poor countries would instantly want to be in the better places, so that would be a bit of a riot, and well, vaults and banks are useless for keeping any money in, so I guess the economy would fart, but ...

Teleportation, if expensive and controllable, will create a new level of warfare. If inexpensive and accessible, it will spell the end of government because governments rely on the ability to control people's movement. Either way, as much research is going into teleportation, whoever invents it first will most likely use it to annihilate everyone else, OR they will suppress it entirely.

Unless some rogue physicist team secretively invents a cheap, reliable teleportation device that anyone can build at home using a potato, a mirror, some tin foil, and a copper wire, and then leaks the information onto the Internet. End of the world, right there. For a while, anyway.

Except, no-one would believe them.

Somewhere out there, there's a guy who's invented an actual penis enlargement pill. He'll never be able to market it, poor guy.