It's hard to be a villian...

[LMNO]

Mustache wax is not available to the general public.  One day you will be walking down the street and a well dressed older gentleman will approach you and hand you a card that appears to made out of graphite.  On it will be an address.  It will invariably be for a basement with a heavy rich wooden door, a wrought iron railing, and stone stairs.  At the door you will be requested to present the card and your mustache is inspected.  Within you will find waxes ranging from the exotic to the everyday with a variety of scents, hand carved miniature grooming devices, and shears forged of Damascus steel.

They will accept no payment other than the card you've been given, and you are expected to take only that which you require.  Should you return, you'll find the location boarded up and long abandoned.

Oh, is that who that guy was?

[Rumckle]

No, that old guy was soliciting you for sex, wait a few more days for your mustache to grow.

[LMNO]

But he gave me some moustache cream, via a most intriguing delivery system....

[Richter]

LMNO, you have inspired me and changed my life.

I had been thinking it was about time to get out the clippers and sheers to give my goatee a trim.  The 'stache hairs were about to interfere with my eating, which is the usual sign it's time for such.  After reading this thread though, I gathered the hairs and have a brief twist, jsut to experiment with the idea, you know, and viewed the result in my cubicle's blind spot mirror.  

It was astounding!  Even at minimal length they still took almost naturally to the twist, and held the most delightful upward curl.  
I may have cried, a little.  I will grow and wax, and submit the results as cameras allow.

[LMNO]

BROTHER!

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

welly-well.

perhaps i'll make up some tash-wax and sell it to some of these hipster fucks with sad mustaches around these parts.

orange-lavender sounds nice. i think an almond-vanilla would be nice too.

mmmm. almoniller.

protip: if you make a couple of different varieties "extra strong", "gloss care" and "curl shaper" (or whatever, pick some random words from the hairgel wax and spray section at your drugstore), you will sell more, make more moneys (if you make your profit margins, say, 2.0 (minimal), 2.5 and 3.0) and as an extra bonus you won't have to figure out the optimal recipe either, because they will pick the right recipe for you!

make sure to tag on loads of organic and bio handcrafted with micro lipides and nutri-ingredients and based on actual 17th century moustache couture and CRAMULUS SEAL OF APPROVAL on it.

because if there's one industry where you can lie your pants off and people will love you better for it, it's cosmetics.

You sir, are genius.

This thread= 

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

ooooh. instead of castor oil you can use shea butter.
which i think would be nicer.

[Richter]

Seriously.  I want to make a coacoa butter / beeswax blend for myself now.  I don't like the idea of putting petroleum in my facial hairs, unless as the side effect of perverse fun.. 

[Suu]

Seriously.  I want to make a coacoa butter / beeswax blend for myself now.  I don't like the idea of putting petroleum in my facial hairs, unless as the side effect of perverse fun.. 

Do never use petroleum for perverse fun either. Water-based or GTFO.

[LMNO]

Seriously.  I want to make a coacoa butter / beeswax blend for myself now.  I don't like the idea of putting petroleum in my facial hairs, unless as the side effect of perverse fun.. 

Do never use petroleum for perverse fun either. Water-based or GTFO.

Unless you're fluid bonded.

[Richter]

I had more of a slip n' slide in mind. 
Astroglide, definitely, but used over large surfaces it dries out too quick.

[Suu]

Vasoline slip n slide?

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

Vasoline slip n slide?

That sounds like hilarious PAIN!

Shit. I wanna make some of this stuff this weekend. I should mail you dudes some to see if you like it/if it works!

[LMNO]

Srsly?  I'll pay shipping if you can make something like that.


[edit: The moustache wax, not the vaseline slip and slide.  I can do that at home.]

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

Srsly?  I'll pay shipping if you can make something like that.


[edit: The moustache wax, not the vaseline slip and slide.  I can do that at home.]

You don't have to pay shipping
It's my experiment.