It's hard to be a villian...

[LMNO]

So, in a stroke of coincidence, I've been starting to grow a handlebar moustache.

I'm currently at the "Cranky Russian/Lazy Cop" stage, and I'm gonna need a comb and some wax pretty soon.







....So where the fuck do I find that?  I'm pretty sure CVS doesn't carry it.

[Jasper]

I found moustache wax at a Bartell's Drugs once.

[Doktor Howl]

Drug store or barber shop.

And may I commend you, sir, in reaching new levels in both Big Gay Cowboyism AND Evil Geniusism.

[Suu]

So, in a stroke of coincidence, I've been starting to grow a handlebar moustache.

I'm currently at the "Cranky Russian/Lazy Cop" stage, and I'm gonna need a comb and some wax pretty soon.







....So where the fuck do I find that?  I'm pretty sure CVS doesn't carry it.

Yes they do. I used to see it all the time when I worked there.

[LMNO]

Ah.  I must look harder.




And I'll post pics with both a cowboy hat and a top hat.

[Eater of Clowns]

Mustache wax is not available to the general public.  One day you will be walking down the street and a well dressed older gentleman will approach you and hand you a card that appears to made out of graphite.  On it will be an address.  It will invariably be for a basement with a heavy rich wooden door, a wrought iron railing, and stone stairs.  At the door you will be requested to present the card and your mustache is inspected.  Within you will find waxes ranging from the exotic to the everyday with a variety of scents, hand carved miniature grooming devices, and shears forged of Damascus steel.

They will accept no payment other than the card you've been given, and you are expected to take only that which you require.  Should you return, you'll find the location boarded up and long abandoned.

[Suu]

Mustache wax is not available to the general public.  One day you will be walking down the street and a well dressed older gentleman will approach you and hand you a card that appears to made out of graphite.  On it will be an address.  It will invariably be for a basement with a heavy rich wooden door, a wrought iron railing, and stone stairs.  At the door you will be requested to present the card and your mustache is inspected.  Within you will find waxes ranging from the exotic to the everyday with a variety of scents, hand carved miniature grooming devices, and shears forged of Damascus steel.

They will accept no payment other than the card you've been given, and you are expected to take only that which you require.  Should you return, you'll find the location boarded up and long abandoned.

[Suu]

What you need is a Villainous Victorian Velociraptor

http://shirt.woot.com/friends.aspx?k=11537

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

http://cgi.ebay.com/WILD-HAIRS-BEHAVE-w-Oregon-Wild-Hair-Moustache-Wax_W0QQitemZ130366175075QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item1e5a6df763

I congratulate and commend you on commencing your moustache adventure, LMNO. Also, let me say that the above-linked wax smells GREAT and I highly recommend it, for your lady-smooching pleasure.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

I wonder if you could make some from beeswax, glycerin and some kind of good smelling essential oil or something.

Hmmm. Might be worth looking into.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I wonder if you could make some from beeswax, glycerin and some kind of good smelling essential oil or something.

Hmmm. Might be worth looking into.

I just did a quick search and found some recipes on the net... some were really simple, too, like two parts beeswax to one part castor oil. It would be a piece of cake to add a dab of fragrance (I'm thinking orange oil and a hint of lavender) to that.

If I ever have a moustache to love again, maybe I'll show my love with homemade moustache wax.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

welly-well.

perhaps i'll make up some tash-wax and sell it to some of these hipster fucks with sad mustaches around these parts.

orange-lavender sounds nice. i think an almond-vanilla would be nice too.

mmmm. almoniller.

[E.O.T.]

Beeswax is the deal. there's totally an art to getting it to do what you want AND look fabulous. Kind of like how aquanet is. Don't use aquanet on your stache though.
Also, The idea of your fantastic moustache makes me forget you were ever a dick. Even if it's not true, please tell me you have a hairy chest.

[E.O.T.]

I wonder if you could make some from beeswax, glycerin and some kind of good smelling essential oil or something.

Hmmm. Might be worth looking into.

I just did a quick search and found some recipes on the net... some were really simple, too, like two parts beeswax to one part castor oil. It would be a piece of cake to add a dab of fragrance (I'm thinking orange oil and a hint of lavender) to that.

If I ever have a moustache to love again, maybe I'll show my love with homemade moustache wax.

That sounds more like an enema elixir than something I'd rub in my facial hair. What is that? Like, Mean Mom's Moustache Muck?

[Triple Zero]

welly-well.

perhaps i'll make up some tash-wax and sell it to some of these hipster fucks with sad mustaches around these parts.

orange-lavender sounds nice. i think an almond-vanilla would be nice too.

mmmm. almoniller.

protip: if you make a couple of different varieties "extra strong", "gloss care" and "curl shaper" (or whatever, pick some random words from the hairgel wax and spray section at your drugstore), you will sell more, make more moneys (if you make your profit margins, say, 2.0 (minimal), 2.5 and 3.0) and as an extra bonus you won't have to figure out the optimal recipe either, because they will pick the right recipe for you!

make sure to tag on loads of organic and bio handcrafted with micro lipides and nutri-ingredients and based on actual 17th century moustache couture and CRAMULUS SEAL OF APPROVAL on it.

because if there's one industry where you can lie your pants off and people will love you better for it, it's cosmetics.