British election - it's on like Donkey Kong

[Cain]

Seriously.  I mean, come on, prove me wrong.  We're going to get a Hung Parliament, unless Gordon Brown eats a live kitten on the air or something, and that Hung Parliament is a best case scenario, since it merely paralyses the state and so limits the damage government can do.  After that, the next most likely scenario is the Tories win, and decide to ride the British economy down to the gory end, like Dr Strangelove and his nuke.

And if that's not bad enough, in the meantime we have to put up with Labour and Tory party activists behaving like...well, whiney brats.  "ZOMG Labour MP hurt my feelings on Twitter!", "ROFL I used Photoshop to make this Tory poster funny".  Honestly, if you want a poster that sums up this election, have a bunch of Tory and Labour MPs perform bukkake on an unwilling voter, and paste the photo all over London.  

Thank you for listening to this edition of "Cain Hates The British Political Elite And Wants Them To Be Covered In Honey And Let Loose in the Millenium Dome With A Swarm Of Killer Bees".

This ad was paid for by the Cynical Nihilist Alliance - destroying faith in society one mind at a time.

[Payne]

My part in the election is going to be fun. I'm going to mock my father (and the BNP in general) as he gets his ass handed to him by Alex Salmond.

After that it's going to suck BALLS.

Any further clues as to what the Lib Dems are going to actually do in the event of a hung parliament?

[Cain]

Apparently they're not going to support the largest party, maybe, since that party will probably be Labour in the Hung Parliament scenario.

Deadlock FTW.  Really, its the only sensible option.  Or, I mean, we could overhaul the system entirely to be representative of actual people and not just Oxbridge's best and brightest braying idiots....but we should be realistic, in the short term, and hope for deadlock.  That will allow the economy to die a slow and drawn out death, which will give me enough time to earn some money and leave this hideous little island. 

[Cain]

I just got a Tory election leaflet through my letterbox.

It informs me I can make 2010 the Year for Change....by voting for the guy who has held the seat for this area since the early 90s.  A curious logic, I will admit.

More fun later.

[bds]

It both un-nerves and surprises me that the only election publications/advertising I've recieved/seen have been Tory.

Also, there are those dumbshit human interest Tory posters on my walk to school ("I'VE NEVER VOTED TORY BEFORE, BUT HURR DURR LERP") and they piss me off every time I walk past.

[Cain]

I would've expected your area to be fairly Labour-leaning?  Being near Brum and all.  Though I know thats not always the case once you get out of the city itself, so you may be one of those lucky "marginal" seats that the Tories are going to fight tooth and nail for.

Oh, Nick Clegg has come up with another reason not to vote for him.  And he was doing so well at not being a prat (over the last two weeks):

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2010/mar/11/nick-clegg-praises-margaret-thatcher

He actually made voting for the Tories look tempting.  I thought that was impossible.  But given the choice between 80% spending cuts and George Osborne's smug face on the news every night or 100% spending cuts, I'm barely willing to tolerate the former over the latter. 

[bds]

We always used to be Labour as far as I remember, but we've had this (http://www.jeremywright.co.uk/) smiley man since 05. Apparently his current local campaigns cover such important topics as vitamin tablets and local mobile phone masts. Speaking of which, it's always amused me how people have started bitching about how they don't want them in their back yard now, but there is a site of around 200 about a mile from the town, the purpose of which remains almost entirely unknown. Presumably sooper sekrit government transmissions to poland or something, according to various "local sources."

I dunno how marginal we are, but afaik the Tory hold is reasonably strong.

[BadBeast]

But Elections in Britain are always lame. We don't have rioting in the streets, political asassinations, Voter co-ercion, or any of that exiting shit that make elections real events in othe places. In the 25 years that I have been eligible to vote, I haven't bothered to do so, even once. The illusion that having the right to take part in the Democratic process is something to be treasured is not, (I've found) a very convincing one. I can count on the fingers of one hand, the amount of Politicians with any integrity, or balls that spring to mind. And at least one of them is dead.
All our Democratic choice is ever going to get us, is whether to get to be shafted by this bunch of cunts, or that bunch of cunts.
Labour, (once a working man's Party, paid for, and championed by the Trade Union movement) has become a travesty of anything it once was. The Tories are even worse, they were shit when they were in power, and they've been shit as an opposition Party. And the Lib Dems are only there so we don;t have to vote for the other two lots of cunts. There is no-one in this whole nest of Vipers, that inspires any confidence in the electorate, no rising young firebrands, or progressive thinking iconoclasts, no-one without their snout in the trough. So I think that this Election can be safely said to be just another Political Non-event, the same as the last time, the time before that, and so on, back down the line, for as far as I can remember. Further than that probably. Bastards, Cheats, and Pirates, every last Man-jack of them!       

[Cain]

Actually, there is an entire book dedicated just to UK attempted political assassinations during election time.  Sure, they got lazy lately....

Anyway, as the above title suggests, the election is on like Donkey Kong

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/election_2010/8603591.stm

Political leaders have headed off on the campaign trail after Prime Minister Gordon Brown announced the UK general election would be held on 6 May.

He said he would seek a "clear" mandate to continue the "road to recovery", as Labour bids for a fourth term.

David Cameron, whose Conservative Party has been ahead in the polls, said they offered "hope" and a "fresh start".

Nick Clegg, leader of the UK's third biggest party the Liberal Democrats, said only they offered "real change".

Shortly after announcing the date at Downing Street, Mr Brown boarded a train and headed to Kent to meet voters at a supermarket in Rochester, Mr Cameron headed to a hospital in Edgbaston, Birmingham while Mr Clegg is meeting young people in Watford.

All three are leading their parties into a general election for the first time.

[Ari]

 

I find it heart-warming to see the democratic system across the Northern Sea in perfect working order. The same bull that I've learned to loath in Germany and Sweden. What a glorious bag of poop!

[Scribbly]

Just thought I'd share this: http://www.ted.com/talks/david_cameron.html

Now, I realize that Cameron is going to cut public spending massively. But, I haven't heard him portray these ideas anywhere else (it is possible that I just missed it, I guess).

In short- he wants to make government transparent, to offer more choice in public services, and make it all accountable. He intends to do this by completely opening up public spending (over £25,000), health stats, and crime stats to the public. The idea being that if you make everything available online, people are able to offer to do things cheaper, and hold their public services to account.

If he does even half of what he says he will (ha ha, yeah, right), this would be a really good thing. The only thing that makes me think he might, is that I haven't heard him say it elsewhere. It was only two months ago he made this speech, so it can't have simply been forgotten (I would think). It also seems to mesh with the rhetoric I have heard, which didn't seem to mean much. He's talking about 'people power' and strengthening communities. Which he has said he'll do in the election, but this is the first I've seen that might be taken as a way to do that. And it actually looks good.

I'd love to hear what you guys make of it. It could be as simple as the fact he's just not going to do it, but if he does, how could it go wrong? It seems sensible and genuinely good to me. Which is stunning.

[Rumckle]

I remember reading an article on that a couple of weeks ago, but after a quick search I can't seem to find it.

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

I got my registration form in and my constituency is one that changes with each change of government, after I got Payne to check the history.

The parties running in Southampton Test are Tory, Labour, Liberal Democrats , UKIP and the Greens, I am having a time deciding between the Green party and Liberal Democrats.

I may just flip a coin. 

[Xooxe]

He's talking about 'people power' and strengthening communities. Which he has said he'll do in the election, but this is the first I've seen that might be taken as a way to do that. And it actually looks good.

I presume that he means they'll make cuts everywhere, so you might as well get used to dealing with it yourself.

If you're going to bring the pain and expect to still get votes, then you've got to at least make it sound tasty.

[Scribbly]

Well, yes. He outright states that cuts need to be made. That's not surprising.

What is surprising is the transparency he outlines in the video. That seems like it can only be a good thing, and I'd be interested to know why it hasn't taken centre stage in the campaign so far, unless he really has decided to entirely drop the concept in the last two months.