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Today at work...

Started by Sir Squid Diddimus, February 24, 2010, 04:40:38 AM

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Sir Squid Diddimus

Now, I'm sure I've bitched about how much I hate my job, but something weird happened today. I have one of those jobs where it's very easy to sit and stew in my delicious brain juices because the actual work is very mindless and un-challenging.

Today I envisioned the typical "office shooter" scenario. It was quite vivid and emotional. I went up and down the rows in my mind thinking of who I'd shoot, who I'd spare, where I'd start.
I thought the best thing to do would go into the old lady boss's office, rip her phone out of the wall and tell her to get on the floor and fucking stay there. For some reason I respect her. She's an artist. Then I'd shoot the skeezy bastard in the next cubicle over. He doesn't deserve his position and he's a jerk.
Up and down the isles, shoot one, spare another.

This guy in r&d that I hate. His attitude is so terrible that I'd really like to shoot him, but I'd consider it a mercy killing, and I'm merciless at this point, so instead I'd just bash him on the snout with the butt of the gun a few times and make him yell "THANK YOU SIR!" and call it good. Mostly because he would be expecting to get shot, and I think a part of him would welcome it. So nuh uh. Not happenin.

I was actually shocked at who would get it and who wouldn't. I would totally shoot this guy that I've called a friend. And even hung out with off the clock. Yup. BANG! And then spare the  others who I don't give a rat's ass about, but they have what seems to be a nice little family life.
Weird.

Lies

This could be the basis of a good book, or news story.
- So the New World Order does not actually exist?
- Oh it exists, and how!
Ask the slaves whose labour built the White House;
Ask the slaves of today tied down to sweatshops and brothels to escape hunger;
Ask most women, second class citizens, in a pervasive rape culture;
Ask the non-human creatures who inhabit the planet:
whales, bears, frogs, tuna, bees, slaughtered farm animals;
Ask the natives of the Americas and Australia on whose land
you live today, on whose graves your factories, farms and neighbourhoods stand;
ask any of them this, ask them if the New World Order is true;
they'll tell you plainly: the New World Order... is you!

Dr. Paes


Sir Squid Diddimus

 :lulz: WHAT?

there's no pics. it didn't really happen  :lulz:

it was just thoughts.


silly :P

E.O.T.

I'M SAVING THIS

          as evidence.
"a good fight justifies any cause"

Dr. Paes

Quote from: Turdley Burgleson on February 24, 2010, 05:26:51 AM
:lulz: WHAT?

there's no pics. it didn't really happen  :lulz:

it was just thoughts.


silly :P
Do it. Then post pics?

Sir Squid Diddimus


Dr. Paes


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Dysnomia

It's all fun and games, till someone gets herpes.

http://cdn.smosh.com/smosh-pit/122010/mow-the-lawn.gif

-Kel-

either you are reaching enlightenment or you need to find a new job stat!

Cainad (dec.)

OP = on The List now, if not already


That's kinda neat, Squid. I don't believe I've ever tried that thought experiment.

Sir Squid Diddimus

Quote from: Cainad on February 24, 2010, 06:43:43 AM
OP = on The List now, if not already


That's kinda neat, Squid. I don't believe I've ever tried that thought experiment.

You've never pictured an office shooting?
I think it actually helps to NOT do it, since for the life of me I couldn't think of a good escape. The place would be swarming with cops by the time I was done.
The only way out would be shooting myself and that's not the ending I want.

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Turdley Burgleson on February 24, 2010, 04:40:38 AM
Now, I'm sure I've bitched about how much I hate my job, but something weird happened today. I have one of those jobs where it's very easy to sit and stew in my delicious brain juices because the actual work is very mindless and un-challenging.

Today I envisioned the typical "office shooter" scenario. It was quite vivid and emotional. I went up and down the rows in my mind thinking of who I'd shoot, who I'd spare, where I'd start.
I thought the best thing to do would go into the old lady boss's office, rip her phone out of the wall and tell her to get on the floor and fucking stay there. For some reason I respect her. She's an artist. Then I'd shoot the skeezy bastard in the next cubicle over. He doesn't deserve his position and he's a jerk.
Up and down the isles, shoot one, spare another.

This guy in r&d that I hate. His attitude is so terrible that I'd really like to shoot him, but I'd consider it a mercy killing, and I'm merciless at this point, so instead I'd just bash him on the snout with the butt of the gun a few times and make him yell "THANK YOU SIR!" and call it good. Mostly because he would be expecting to get shot, and I think a part of him would welcome it. So nuh uh. Not happenin.

I was actually shocked at who would get it and who wouldn't. I would totally shoot this guy that I've called a friend. And even hung out with off the clock. Yup. BANG! And then spare the  others who I don't give a rat's ass about, but they have what seems to be a nice little family life.
Weird.

I don't think there's a person alive who hasn't fantasized about running amok at work. 
Molon Lube

Cainad (dec.)

Quote from: Turdley Burgleson on February 24, 2010, 05:08:20 PM
Quote from: Cainad on February 24, 2010, 06:43:43 AM
OP = on The List now, if not already


That's kinda neat, Squid. I don't believe I've ever tried that thought experiment.

You've never pictured an office shooting?
I think it actually helps to NOT do it, since for the life of me I couldn't think of a good escape. The place would be swarming with cops by the time I was done.
The only way out would be shooting myself and that's not the ending I want.

Well, no. I don't work in an office. I don't work at all. I suppose that might have something to do with it: lack of motive. :lulz: