Nooses, Hoods, and Bodies in the River

[Jenne]

warning: this is just brain spooge, nothing earth-shattering, and really just shit I need to clear outta my head.  If you don't like it, I apologize ahead of time.
******************************************************************************

There was a body found in the riverbank yesterday.  A local teen had been missing since Thursday, and her rapist/murderer was arrested before her remains identified.  She was 17, white, petite, and jogged in the wilderness, or what little we have of that here in Suburbian Hell^TM.

The perp was your typical middle-aged white man, already been paroled for something real down and dirty, but did his time and regretted nothing.  That he would move to Suburbian Heaven^TM to find him something a little further, a little faster, a little more alive so he can make it dead doesn't shock anyone but the girl's parents.

We got the following Safety Tip today in our email inboxes:

A message from XX  MIDDLE SCHOOL


Dear Parents,

We have been very saddened by the tragic event of the past week.

During these difficult times children may have many questions. This is a good time to a review safety messages as well as being aware of the emotions and concerns of your children.

A link to Ways Parents Can Help their Children During Difficult Times can be found at http://etc. in the middle of the page. The link brings you to the district's safety page where there are suggestions about supporting and reassuring children as they express their reactions to tough issues. There are also links to Safety Tips for Kids and information about Megan's Law.

At school we are also aware of the children's reactions and are reinforcing the stability of our daily routine while reaching out and listening to each other and providing support.

Please call (xxx) xxx xxxx x xxxx if you have any questions or need additional school support for your child.

Thank you,
DH, principal - XX Middle School

So kind, yet so cruel, at the same time.  So typical of the white justice in Suburbian Hell^TM.

This kind of alien visitation of things all too human just serves to make me less and less comfortable in my surroundings.  Not because this girl died in the worst way, in the most tragic way, but because the act of her dying made everything else so fake, and her death just that much more real.  Maybe I'm just too used to the bad end of things, but the plastic nature of this place, the beach, the near-year-round sun, the kids and dogs and moms and dads...that seems so far away, untouchable.  Visible, but something I view from a window, somehow.

The disappearance of yet another white girl from a white neighborhood was so normal, but the 3-day search in the rain by neighbors, the FBI, the sheriffs and the LIFEGUARDS...THAT was the freaky part.

Amidst all this is a ridiculous noosefest at UCSD...and all I can think of is...AGAIN?  Too easy to poke a finger in that particular wound around here.  The high schools out here tried this last year.  Is life really that surreal, that fake, that EASY that THIS is the entertainment folks come up with?

Maybe I'm just done trying to find "edgy" in a town full of barking dogs and meowing cats.  Maybe I'm just tired of schooling whitebread folks and those who pretend to be whitebread that no, the $55K/inmate we spend is NOT going to the prisoners but instead to their captors.  And yes, I know this because I'm a daughter of a con.  NO, not all Muslims are whitey-hating babyeaters.  And yes, I know this because I married an Afghan.  NO, not all people are created equal.  And yes, I know this because I live in Suburbian Heaven^TM. 

Where all dreams go to die.

[Nast]

There were posters of her disappearance in Santa Barbara too.

Tragic deaths like this never make sense, and it's unsettling to think how they can coexist with our "normal" lives.

[Jenne]

Yeah, I juxtapose this with my husband's cousin who was about the same age and was killed another way--she took rat poison, because her in-laws were beating her.

The feeling I had when I found out about her death is very similar to what I felt this week about the local teen.

Numbness, and a mixture of surreal "so this is life" judgement on mankind and "so it goes" as well.  Not quite "meh" and not quite "wtf"...somewhere in between.

I can't explain it really well.

[Kai]

Yeah, I juxtapose this with my husband's cousin who was about the same age and was killed another way--she took rat poison, because her in-laws were beating her.

The feeling I had when I found out about her death is very similar to what I felt this week about the local teen.

Numbness, and a mixture of surreal "so this is life" judgement on mankind and "so it goes" as well.  Not quite "meh" and not quite "wtf"...somewhere in between.

I can't explain it really well.

A subdued shock that is tinged with acceptance and guilt, acceptance because there is nothing you can do and guilt because you believe, good people always believe, there is something you could have done.

[Jenne]

I'm not sure I feel any guilt, in fact, I don't. Neither young women were known to me personally. H's cousin survived civil war in Afghanistan. Followed shortly by Talib rule, then a Western invasion, only then to kill herself. With rat poison. She was 19, left behind a baby and a toddler.

This 17 year old was not a neighbor, just one of many middle class kids from a fairly well-off neighborhood. She came from an educated background, relied on routine and the FEELING she was safe, leaving her cell phone locked in her BMW in the park's parking lot. She had been taught stranger-danger, every Suburbanite is-- but when your stranger is your neighbor, who's going to listen to so-called hysterics?

[Kai]

ah. That thing.