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On the Edge Of Ego

Started by Salty, May 13, 2010, 12:35:29 AM

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Brotep

While centrism is a good rule of thumb, you have to be careful about shifting extremes (the midpoint of x and -x may be zero, but the midpoint of 3x and -x is x).

IMO as long as you live life by your own aesthetic and still respect others, you're golden.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

I love the OP.

On the topic of being alone and self-sustaining; it's a good skill to have if you need it. I love being alone, and I love being self-sustaining, but the thing that gives my life meaning and, honestly, probably where most of my ego lies is a sense of being useful to other people. I don't usually talk about it because it sounds fucking gay, but the main thing I think my life is for is to somehow help other people's lives be better. It might just be in a tiny, tiny way, but if I can't do that, what is the point of my existence at all?

So basically, I need other people in order to feed my ego by feeling helpful to them. I could survive, and probably even find a type of contentment up on a mountain alone, but I wouldn't feel really happy or really fulfilled, and eventually I would probably go mad and start letterbombing professors.

If it's weakness to want/need other people, I'd rather be weak than strong.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Adios

Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on May 13, 2010, 05:11:18 PM
I love the OP.

On the topic of being alone and self-sustaining; it's a good skill to have if you need it. I love being alone, and I love being self-sustaining, but the thing that gives my life meaning and, honestly, probably where most of my ego lies is a sense of being useful to other people. I don't usually talk about it because it sounds fucking gay, but the main thing I think my life is for is to somehow help other people's lives be better. It might just be in a tiny, tiny way, but if I can't do that, what is the point of my existence at all?

So basically, I need other people in order to feed my ego by feeling helpful to them. I could survive, and probably even find a type of contentment up on a mountain alone, but I wouldn't feel really happy or really fulfilled, and eventually I would probably go mad and start letterbombing professors.

If it's weakness to want/need other people, I'd rather be weak than strong.

Well said.

BadBeast

I unintentionally destroyed mine about 25 years ago, by feeding it a bucketful of  LSD. It got The Fear, and spent a couple of hours, screaming inside my head. I was at a festival, andI found myself in a Marquee, full of Hare Krisna devotees.I think IO was drawn there because the chanting soothed the fear. It got smaller, and farther away, until it was just a tiny dot of white light. And it was gone. And my ego, gone with it. My head exploded with white light, and I was everywhere, and everything at once. I  no longer had any ego to tag the thing that I was, so I was not. There was no identity, no separateness. Just one big one. No time, became all time, became the same instant.   Tiny enough to disappear, large enough to contain every event that had happened or ever would happen. I became pure experience, with no sense of anything that was outside, or inside. My ego returned, softly, instantly, with no fear, only a sense of awe. And I was aware of Lord Krisna, and he bathed my raw spirit with love, and put me gently back down in my body, and smiled at me.

After that, my ego, was aware, for the first time, probably, of it's proportion, and learned to know it's function, it's limits, and it's uses. It still gets a little tender at times, but nothing like as butthurt as it used to before. And now I know why Hare Krisnas are always smiling, and chanting. And whenever I see them, they know that even though I am not one of them, he has touched me too. And that's good.
"We need a plane for Bombing, Strafing, Assault and Battery, Interception, Ground Support, and Reconaissance,
NOT JUST A "FAIR WEATHER FIGHTER"!

"I kinda like him. It's like he sees inside my soul" ~ Nigel


Whoever puts their hand on me to govern me, is a usurper, and a tyrant, and I declare them my enemy!

"And when the clouds obscure the moon, and normal service is resumed. It wont. Mean. A. Thing"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpkCJDYxH-4

Faust

Quote from: Hawk on May 13, 2010, 12:51:47 AM
Why are you concerned about what others think?

because the alternative is boring.
People are interesting, and if I didn't have them to pass the time and find out what they think there wouldn't be much more to do in life then sit around making sandcastles all day.
Sleepless nights at the chateau

Adios

Quote from: Faust on May 13, 2010, 11:52:59 PM
Quote from: Hawk on May 13, 2010, 12:51:47 AM
Why are you concerned about what others think?

because the alternative is boring.
People are interesting, and if I didn't have them to pass the time and find out what they think there wouldn't be much more to do in life then sit around making sandcastles all day.

I play wiff toofpicks.

Faust

Quote from: Hawk on May 13, 2010, 11:53:40 PM
Quote from: Faust on May 13, 2010, 11:52:59 PM
Quote from: Hawk on May 13, 2010, 12:51:47 AM
Why are you concerned about what others think?

because the alternative is boring.
People are interesting, and if I didn't have them to pass the time and find out what they think there wouldn't be much more to do in life then sit around making sandcastles all day.

I play wiff toofpicks.
I get bored after isolating myself for a few months, people are fun. The difference between caring about what people think and allowing other peoples opinion of you to control you is a very different thing.
Sleepless nights at the chateau

Adios

Quote from: BadBeast on May 13, 2010, 11:39:29 PM
I unintentionally destroyed mine about 25 years ago, by feeding it a bucketful of  LSD. It got The Fear, and spent a couple of hours, screaming inside my head. I was at a festival, andI found myself in a Marquee, full of Hare Krisna devotees.I think IO was drawn there because the chanting soothed the fear. It got smaller, and farther away, until it was just a tiny dot of white light. And it was gone. And my ego, gone with it. My head exploded with white light, and I was everywhere, and everything at once. I  no longer had any ego to tag the thing that I was, so I was not. There was no identity, no separateness. Just one big one. No time, became all time, became the same instant.   Tiny enough to disappear, large enough to contain every event that had happened or ever would happen. I became pure experience, with no sense of anything that was outside, or inside. My ego returned, softly, instantly, with no fear, only a sense of awe. And I was aware of Lord Krisna, and he bathed my raw spirit with love, and put me gently back down in my body, and smiled at me.

After that, my ego, was aware, for the first time, probably, of it's proportion, and learned to know it's function, it's limits, and it's uses. It still gets a little tender at times, but nothing like as butthurt as it used to before. And now I know why Hare Krisnas are always smiling, and chanting. And whenever I see them, they know that even though I am not one of them, he has touched me too. And that's good.

No offense but this sounds like the Hippie shit I heard all through the '60's and '70's. I saw god once while on a trip courtesy of Orange Sunshine and I pissed in his face.

Adios

Quote from: Faust on May 13, 2010, 11:57:20 PM
Quote from: Hawk on May 13, 2010, 11:53:40 PM
Quote from: Faust on May 13, 2010, 11:52:59 PM
Quote from: Hawk on May 13, 2010, 12:51:47 AM
Why are you concerned about what others think?

because the alternative is boring.
People are interesting, and if I didn't have them to pass the time and find out what they think there wouldn't be much more to do in life then sit around making sandcastles all day.

I play wiff toofpicks.
I get bored after isolating myself for a few months, people are fun. The difference between caring about what people think and allowing other peoples opinion of you to control you is a very different thing.

I enjoy being around people sometimes. I just have to have an escape route planned in advance.

BadBeast

#24
Quote from: Hawk on May 13, 2010, 11:57:37 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on May 13, 2010, 11:39:29 PM
I unintentionally destroyed mine about 25 years ago, by feeding it a bucketful of  LSD. It got The Fear, and spent a couple of hours, screaming inside my head. I was at a festival, andI found myself in a Marquee, full of Hare Krisna devotees.I think IO was drawn there because the chanting soothed the fear. It got smaller, and farther away, until it was just a tiny dot of white light. And it was gone. And my ego, gone with it. My head exploded with white light, and I was everywhere, and everything at once. I  no longer had any ego to tag the thing that I was, so I was not. There was no identity, no separateness. Just one big one. No time, became all time, became the same instant.   Tiny enough to disappear, large enough to contain every event that had happened or ever would happen. I became pure experience, with no sense of anything that was outside, or inside. My ego returned, softly, instantly, with no fear, only a sense of awe. And I was aware of Lord Krisna, and he bathed my raw spirit with love, and put me gently back down in my body, and smiled at me.

After that, my ego, was aware, for the first time, probably, of it's proportion, and learned to know it's function, it's limits, and it's uses. It still gets a little tender at times, but nothing like as butthurt as it used to before. And now I know why Hare Krisnas are always smiling, and chanting. And whenever I see them, they know that even though I am not one of them, he has touched me too. And that's good.

No offense but this sounds like the Hippie shit I heard all through the '60's and '70's. I saw god once while on a trip courtesy of Orange Sunshine and I pissed in his face.

None taken, (It was the 80's, after all)  If I did the same thing again, I would no doubt dress the experience up in a totally different frame of reference. (Hopefully one that didn't sound so much like hippy shit.)  The experience was a valid one though, so I told it like I remembered it.
Since then,  I've learned a little bit of psychology, and how the ego tagging thing works, giving us an anchor point from which to view the world. And I can see that from a clinical point of view, all I did was to temporarily cut  my anchor rope. The whole thing was very therapeutic, and I really haven't been the same since.  A lot less, erm, . . egotistical in fact.

(edit: In defence of Hippy shit, I doubt if I am the only one whose original introduction to Lady Eris, and Discordia generally, was from reading "Illuminatus",  probably the most blatantly obvious pile of hippy shit, it's ever been my pleasure to re-read over and over again.)
"We need a plane for Bombing, Strafing, Assault and Battery, Interception, Ground Support, and Reconaissance,
NOT JUST A "FAIR WEATHER FIGHTER"!

"I kinda like him. It's like he sees inside my soul" ~ Nigel


Whoever puts their hand on me to govern me, is a usurper, and a tyrant, and I declare them my enemy!

"And when the clouds obscure the moon, and normal service is resumed. It wont. Mean. A. Thing"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpkCJDYxH-4