Hey Nigel, don't you love customers?

[Suu]

This post needs no crazy letter, the crazy is below.


*Gentleman contacts me looking for Jacobite shirts. I give him quotes.*

Him: Um...$60 for a shirt seems expensive unless it would be silk or something. You're telling me that's just cotton. And why would linen be $80? That makes no sense.

Me: The fabric I'm going to be using for a cotton shirt is $5-6 a yard. It's a quality lightweight cotton made my Kona. It's top of the line. And linen's current market value is about double that of cotton, I'm afraid. Even if I went with Fustian, which is a linen and cotton blend that was very popular in the 1700s, it would still be $6 a yard. You're paying for quality fabrics and my time on the machine, which I charge $20/hr on custom orders outside of my usual offerings because I need to draft a pattern.

Him: I dunno. Thanks for your time and all but I think I could find them cheaper somewhere else.

...

hours pass.

...

Him: Sorry to bug you, but polyester blend isn't period for the 18th century, is it?



...And people wonder why I DON'T want to do this anymore.

[Iason Ouabache]

Him: Sorry to bug you, but polyester blend isn't period for the 18th century, is it?

Oh, godddamn it!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

This post needs no crazy letter, the crazy is below.


*Gentleman contacts me looking for Jacobite shirts. I give him quotes.*

Him: Um...$60 for a shirt seems expensive unless it would be silk or something. You're telling me that's just cotton. And why would linen be $80? That makes no sense.

Me: The fabric I'm going to be using for a cotton shirt is $5-6 a yard. It's a quality lightweight cotton made my Kona. It's top of the line. And linen's current market value is about double that of cotton, I'm afraid. Even if I went with Fustian, which is a linen and cotton blend that was very popular in the 1700s, it would still be $6 a yard. You're paying for quality fabrics and my time on the machine, which I charge $20/hr on custom orders outside of my usual offerings because I need to draft a pattern.

Him: I dunno. Thanks for your time and all but I think I could find them cheaper somewhere else.

...

hours pass.

...

Him: Sorry to bug you, but polyester blend isn't period for the 18th century, is it?



...And people wonder why I DON'T want to do this anymore.

It was just annoying customer stupidity until his last line... then I burst out laughing. Is polyester blend period for the 18th century?   

Oh god. Suu, they're insane. Insane, stingy, and ignorant. They want to know things like why I can't give a volume discount. I say, because I make each bead individually and there's no such thing as economy of scale with handmade items. They say, but I have a resale license. I say, I have already taken that into consideration with my pricing, look at my FAQ. Nobody who ISN'T a jewelry designer really has much reason to buy what I make, so I assume everyone's reselling. That assumption is built into my pricing. They say, but I am a jewelry designer and you should give me a discount.

I put my head on my desk and cry.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Also, invariably... the ones who demand the most attention and handholding are the ones who will spend the least money. Every single artisan and/or consultant I have spoken to agrees with this experience. If they want THAT much help and THAT much of your time, they will not only buy the cheapest thing you make, but most likely they will return it later and pretend it was somehow your fault. And then they will ask you to make a slightly different one at no extra charge. Which, if you agree to it, they will also return.

HATE.

[Suu]

I give discounts ONLY to the following.

1: People who are already in the 501st/Rebel Legion get a 10% discount.
2: People who are a card-carrying member of the SCA and are looking for something authentic and are paying me top dollar ANYWAY. 10%.
3: US Military. 15%. For the kid who's garb I'm working on right now 20% because he's in Iraq.


That's it. I don't give stupidity discounts. I don't haggle. This is my livelihood.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

Oh hey Nigel I meant to ask you if you could make me about 250 of the same bead, and they're very intricate and complex. I'd also like a bulk discount because I'm a jeweler and I'm thinking I should only pay around .12 cents per bead.

And Suu, I know you use "top of the line" fabrics and all but I'd really like this period costume for about $15 with the right fabrics, none of that polyester blend stuff... unless you think they had that in the 1800's. I mean, they did, right?

::runs giggling waving arms::

[Maria]

My customers are the worst.  I'm hired for personal security.  ONLY for personal security.  Sometimes they think they're buying other services.

Suu, you should have told that jerk all kinds of bullshit.  Like polyester wasn't period, they only had nylon.

[Remington]

I used to work at a mainstream Electronics retailer called Futureshop. It's like a Canadian clone of Best Buy, if Best Buy was slightly less idiotic. One of my favourite parts of the jobs was my encounters with exactly that type of customer. Presented in its original, unaltered form:

Me: Yeah, so the console is $499.99 and the controllers are $59.99 apiece.

Customer: Can I have a discount?

Me: Why?

Customer: ... Because I asked?



They would always threaten to leave and never shop there again after I told them No with an amused look on my face. I then politely informed them that I was paid by the hour and not on commission, therefore I really didn't care if he never came back. It was fun.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

You guys are 

[Suu]

I used to work at a mainstream Electronics retailer called Futureshop. It's like a Canadian clone of Best Buy, if Best Buy was slightly less idiotic. One of my favourite parts of the jobs was my encounters with exactly that type of customer. Presented in its original, unaltered form:

Me: Yeah, so the console is $499.99 and the controllers are $59.99 apiece.

Customer: Can I have a discount?

Me: Why?

Customer: ... Because I asked?



They would always threaten to leave and never shop there again after I told them No with an amused look on my face. I then politely informed them that I was paid by the hour and not on commission, therefore I really didn't care if he never came back. It was fun.

I'd give him an A for effort though. Just for asking. Lol.

[Remington]

I'd give him an A for effort though. Just for asking. Lol.

Usually what I did was call the manager and try to work out a package deal. This usually involved getting $20-30 off a high-markup item (like a controller) but having to buy FS's shitty extended warranty.

The customer usually passed on the offer, and wisely so.

[Dysnomia]

Babysitting parents are all the same too.  Trying to haggle how much to pay me saying that the last person to watch their kid only cost $10 per hour, even though the last person to watch their kid(s) was a 16 year old who probably brought her boyfriend over to screw on their couch.  Or ignored the kids to watch tv/yack on the phone the whole time.  Sorry, but the going rate around here is 15/hr or MORE for a qualified babysitter/nanny (such as myself, who is TB tested, fingerprinted, has taken classes, CPR certified, good driving record, almost 10 years of exp, works for a preschool, etc), PLUS GAS if I have to drive them anywhere.  I give certain moms the discount of 12/hr if I know them, like them, or I know they're struggling financially.  Usually they're great, but occasionally one will come along and decide to squeeze every fucking penny out of my hourly rate by also turning me into a house keeper, cook (since when is helping you with your cookie swap in my job description???), errand-runner (non-kid errands), and personal assistant.  Like the one I'm working for now.   

[PeregrineBF]

Raise your prices 10%, then give everyone 10% off deals. Not valid with any other offer, etc, etc.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Raise your prices 10%, then give everyone 10% off deals. Not valid with any other offer, etc, etc.

Since I do web sales, that doesn't really work for me without adding a bunch of unnecessary interactions which simply serve to detract from my productive time.

Also, my high-spending customers are the ones who mostly want me to leave them alone so they can get their work done, not waste time in email interactions for some fractional and illusory discount.

[East Coast Hustle]

This is exactly why I got out of working for myself, and why I have turned down a couple of offers over the last few years to be a personal chef. My current situation may not be totally ideal, but at least I go to work (at my REAL job, not this bullshit I'm doing to keep from getting bored right now) every day knowing that ultimately, the person paying me is on my side.