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Level 23 Archer

Started by NotPublished, March 24, 2010, 02:40:52 AM

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The Wizard

(shrug) Time to power level.
Insanity we trust.

NotPublished

NP was walking along the Gallery as he recieved an instant message via Carrier Pigeon

The message reads



DEAR SIR AND/OR MADAME,
I WISH TO JOIN YOUr PARTY. HERE IS MY RESUME

LOVE,
ME



Pinned to the Message is a pair of worn underpants, NP sniffs and does not like smell

WHO, THE HELL LEAVES PANTS WITH THEIR RESUME?

NP continues walking on and comes across a fair maiden who won't stop screaming

AHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHH
AHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHH AHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHH

THE SCREAMING IT WONT STOP, said NP.

NP USES BOW OF ELVENDOR AND SHOOTS SCREAMING FAIR MAIDEN LEAVING HER TO WITHER AND DIE

THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE! SHE LOOKED LIKE SHE WAS ABOUT TO BECOME SANE.

THE QUEST CONTINUES ON

ELF WISHS TO SHARE A JOKE.

Q) Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?
A) Because he had low "elf" esteem!
In Soviet Russia, sins died for Jesus.

NotPublished

Afer a long haitus of Debri and stuff.
NP finds himself stuck in the confines of an evil Arabian overlord cardealer.

The Overlord looks on at his subordinates with what appears to be a grin.. The muscles on the side of his mouth appear to be upturned, his purple swollen lips parted away revealing several rows of teeth that are rotten black, and it looks like he has a snake tongue, its flickering trying to catch something in the air... His turban mangy and looks like it was taken from a Feral Ginger Cat ...

NP equips his +4 Bow of Elvendor and tries to shoot, but only rolling a 1 he stumbles and breaks his bow.

The Overlord looks at NP again and smiles further, causing +5 Fear to NP

"Oh god I can't keep up"

NP plays the Flute of Hasty Returns and flies off in a storm looking for a Blacksmith
In Soviet Russia, sins died for Jesus.

Freeky

The blacksmith looks up as you enter his smithy. "You need a fletcher, not a blacksmith, if you want that bow fixed." He glares at you.

Then he flings his hammer at you. What do you do?

Triple Zero

I put on my robe and wizard pants ... cause I like wizards too.

And I start memorizing spells, I'm level 8 I guess. But don't pin me on that when I can't be arsed to get the rulebooks.

I also buy a barrel of fish at the local market.
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

NotPublished

The creepy Shamwow guy watchs and stares at the Wizard Zero, hoping he comes in his direction, but the police are on guard after the prostitue bashing incident.

Also there are various Indians selling a combination of spices and shrunken heads, and there is a rambling old man screaming about setting his toaster to 3 medium-brown.

Times are tough, NP could not replace his +4 Bow of Elvendor, and is now reduced to fisting his opponents; after he forgot about everything and what the purpose of his quest was - or what was he even doing and what did this post have any relations to.

NP decides to use his +5 Alchemy ability and make some rice bubbles
In Soviet Russia, sins died for Jesus.