Three meetings in one day...

[Doktor Howl]

...With Filthy Assistant and Mike the Engineer in attendance.  Amazingly enough, I didn't kill anyone.

Yes, you will now recognize Doktor Howl as an icon of peace and serenity.

Now sit on my lap and tell me you're sorry.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

  Do they have any idea just how lucky they are?

[Doktor Howl]

Do they have any idea just how lucky they are?

No.  They are blissfully ignorant of their brush with horrible death.

Filthy Assistant was just remarking on how well the meetings went.  I choked on my slimfast.

[Jasper]

I'm not sure I could do it, Dok.  I'm a fairly nonviolent guy, but I'm prone to letting verbal no-nos slip when I'm in a bad mood.  Once at six in the morning, a Starbucks barista tried to sell me some kind of stale sugar treat to go with my coffee, and I actually said "I will kill a motherfucker" before I could self-monitor.  He seemed upset.  ftp://

[Jasper]

Anyway, not sure why I shared that, but condolences about the insufferable mongrels.

[Doktor Howl]

Oh, it gets better.  Apparently, last night some operations guy decided that the best way to route a rubber acid line was to drap it across a live steam pipe (14 feet off the ground, thus uninsulated).  The rubber melted, and the hydrochloric ate the pipe, and now I have a 10' geyser of steam.  Have to blow the boiler down, which requires shutting THE WHOLE PLANT DOWN, and spend a day fixing the pipe.

Bear in mind that Mike the Engineer has been following me around ever since, honking about plant welding stardards that I ALREADY KNOW.



Yet I still haven't killed him.  I may very well be the next Gandhi.

[Cramulus]

you make it sound so glamorous!

the most exciting thing that ever happens around here is a printer breaks down and people start throwing temper tantrums and beating on it with their fists. (this is the point at which I jump up and say "I'll fix the printer!" and then join them in hitting and kicking it) I could really use a dangerous geyser of steam and an acid bath right now.

[Doktor Howl]

you make it sound so glamorous!

the most exciting thing that ever happens around here is a printer breaks down and people start throwing temper tantrums and beating on it with their fists. (this is the point at which I jump up and say "I'll fix the printer!" and then join them in hitting and kicking it) I could really use a dangerous geyser of steam and an acid bath right now.

It's never boring here.  That is the one good thing about this job.  I mean, other than being stunned with a bag of filthy lucre every two weeks, at about the time I ritualistically start to think about quiting.

Also, I am in a unique position due to the fact that, because of minor brain damage and buckets of pills, I have turned "being a dick" into a "disability", which means that due to the Americans With Disabilities Act, I am basically unfireable.  This gives me latitude in dealing with asinine co-workers that I am coming to appreciate.

[Freeky]

Ride that pony, Dok. MEK IT YUOR BITCH. 

[Doktor Howl]

Ride that pony, Dok. MEK IT YUOR BITCH. 

THIS WHOLE CITY IS MY BITCH!

[Freeky]

Troof.

[Doktor Howl]

In 50 minutes, I have ANOTHER 3 HOUR MEETING.

Filthy Assistant and Mike the Engineer will be present.

OHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...

[Freeky]

In 50 minutes, I have ANOTHER 3 HOUR MEETING.

Filthy Assistant and Mike the Engineer will be present.

Oh dear...

[LMNO]

Please tell me you had cabbage and broccoli for lunch.

[Doktor Howl]

Please tell me you had cabbage and broccoli for lunch.

Broccoli and cauliflower, actually.