gnimbley loses his mind

[DJRubberducky]

Customing, set design, program design etc. I am not making any demands on these.

Oh, and um, before I got distracted, I was gonna say that I was talking more in terms of "if you ever plan to stage this, I'd make those costumes for ya".

[gnimbley]

Cool. Costumes.

Oh, and when I told my niece that the woman on my t-shirt was
Eris, the ancient Greek Goddess of Discord, she said that the
modern God of Discord would have to be Jerry Springer.

[MedeoPlusPlus]

Cool. Costumes.

Oh, and when I told my niece that the woman on my t-shirt was
Eris, the ancient Greek Goddess of Discord, she said that the
modern God of Discord would have to be Jerry Springer.

[Marl Fublewonker]

JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!

[Horab Fibslager]

Cool. Costumes.

Oh, and when I told my niece that the woman on my t-shirt was
Eris, the ancient Greek Goddess of Discord, she said that the
modern God of Discord would have to be Jerry Springer.

i disagree, adn nominate georgie dubya, since who else is as good as gettign everyone's panties in a knot?

besides montel is better than jerry since they took away the fighting.

[gnimbley]

A new copy of the play has been uploaded to my server. It is available, as usual, in pdf form by clicking on the link below. (Or any of the previous links. They are all the same.)

Ah, well, there isn't a new scene. This is a major rewrite of the last scene. Mrs. Bush has been purged (but will be reinserted later). Instead, Michael Moore and Dick Cheney are testifying. I think there will still be more of Cheney's testimony, but it is late, I am tired, and I leave tomorrow to go out of town for a niece's wedding. So this is what I got.

Enjoy. Or not.

The Trial of George W. Bush, An Erisian Mystery, by gnimbley the gnome

[LMNO]

I like the Moore part, but the Cheney testimony isn't over-the-top enough.  What if you got Rumsfeld in there, and played around with his rhetorical, self-answered questions, like

"Do I think it's fun, blowing up schools and destroying civilian's cars with Ameican tanks? Sure I do.  Do I admit that?  Of course not.  Do I jerk off on the US Flag every night? Of course I do."


Ok, maybe that's not so funny, but hell, I'm not the writer.

And the part where Louis explicitly states that Bush is Everyman is too blunt.  You need to insinuate that more.


But I really like the play as a whole.

[gnimbley]

::runs around in circles silently screaming::

A new copy of the play is up!

Act 3, scene 2 is finished (first draft stuff of course) and Act 3, scene 3 is
also finished!  woo hoo!

I'm a little batty gnome
living 'neath a tree
No one knows just what I did
and don't remember me
Stand on top of heaven's gate
and wish for clarity
Don't go looking in my eyes
They're just so I can see

The Trial of George W. Bush, An Erisian Mystery, by gnimbley the gnome

[DJRubberducky]

I'm re-reading from the beginning, as I am wont to do (and I'm glad I did, as I noticed three more lines in the Furies' initial trialogue), but I found a small nitpick.

I realize this trial isn't happening in any United States jurisdiction, but when Megaera is questioning Jimmy Conners, and he talks about seeing what was left, Megaera's next line of "just pieces, right?" would probably be construed as leading the witness.  I think something like "what was left?" might be more like what a lawyer would be able to ask without raising an objection from the other side.

[gnimbley]

::hides the leash and collar behind his back::

Who, moi? Lead the witness? I would never do anything like that!

yeah, i read back through stuff in order to remember what was siad before and change little things here and there. not like I will do on
the re-write. Act II is undergoing a HUGE revision in my head, but I am going to wait until I have done the first draft before I tackle that!

[namu]

Why the lengthy monologues ? Why couldn't they be interrogated instead of talking by themselves ?

[DJRubberducky]

::hides the leash and collar behind his back::

Who, moi? Lead the witness? I would never do anything like that!

yeah, i read back through stuff in order to remember what was siad before and change little things here and there. not like I will do on
the re-write. Act II is undergoing a HUGE revision in my head, but I am going to wait until I have done the first draft before I tackle that!

Actually, upon getting through the end of what you've got so far (and Megaera's haranguing of Dick Cheney), I'm thinking it might be appropriate for everyone to totally miss Conners's leading, and maybe George mumble to Louis once she really gets going on Cheney, and Louis to make some remark about how that either isn't disallowed around here, or how it's the Furies we're talking about, and that's their friggin' jorb.

Disclaimer: I still operate under a worldview that insists that things make sense to me.

[gnimbley]

Disclaimer: I still operate under a worldview that insists that things make sense to me.

::slaps DJRubberDucky with a splintered ruler::

You are hereby sentenced to reading ALL of St. Hugh's rants.

:P

[Horab Fibslager]

i tried but ended up gapping out alot like usual. i was enlightened tho. i realized a very important untruth today. st. hugh writes alot.

no need to thank me now for this important discovery.

[LMNO]

Well, I still think CHeney can go more over the top, foaming at the mouth, having a series of heart attacks, etc.

And perhaps, instead of subtly relating GW to Everyman, now I'm thinking Louis could explicitly make the link between a society and its leader.  That is, while everey Iraqui was not responsible for Saddam being in power, every American is responsible for GWB in power (even those that voted for Gore - I'm sure you could figure out some sort of strange loop there).  Then you can undercut the argument by bringing up media manipulation, etc, so W gets all confused.

And yeah, less monologue, more dialogue.


that's my 2cents.