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So I think somebody is stealing my mail...

Started by Suu, April 07, 2010, 08:25:25 PM

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Suu

Probably a previous tenant that may still have a key to my mailbox even though I asked the fucking Post Office to change it. Oh well, now it's time to take matters into my own hands.

Thoughts? I may just have all you spags who have my address send me a letter and I'll let you know if they come through or not.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Remington

Mail yourself a big envelope full of high-gloss Goatse from a local neighbourhood mailbox. Stamp it [Confidential] and let it wait in your inbox.
Is it plugged in?

Cain

Maybe Herbert is just pissed he can't use keyloggers any more, and is doing it the old-fashioned way.

Suu

Quote from: Cain on April 07, 2010, 08:31:01 PM
Maybe Herbert is just pissed he can't use keyloggers any more, and is doing it the old-fashioned way.

He better not be. Though I have my mom waiting to see if the rent check she sent me is getting cashed. That's a good way to track down if someone is stealing. In this neighborhood, I wouldn't hold it against someone to try to forge a signature and a sign over.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Freeky

Dude, Suu. That sucks. I hope it's all just a misunderstanding, or at least someone you can easily track down and fuck with for fun and profit. :)

East Coast Hustle

bake some brownies made with human feces. send them to yourself, along with a note inside the box telling you to "enjoy these pot brownies I made for you".
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

Freeky


East Coast Hustle

Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

Suu

Well, I am going to mail myself something that contains a nasty letter to the thief and a sprinkle of unscented talcum powder. But to have a few others write notes as well could be great. We could scare the shit out of this guy.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Dysfunctional Cunt

I would have people start sending you death threats claiming to have inbedded tracking chips in the paper to find you!  :lulz:

Suu

Okay, my letter is written. It reads:

"If you are the person stealing my mail, please stop.

The authorities have been notified as what you are doing is a Federal offense. You obviously have to have a mail key which means that you were a previous occupant of this address and easy to track down.

If you do not return my mail to me within 7 days of 4/8/2010, legal action will be taken.

You cannot cash checks that aren't in your name and have no need of an acceptance letter to the University of Rhode Island."
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Dysfunctional Cunt

Quote from: Suu on April 07, 2010, 09:14:35 PM
Okay, my letter is written. It reads:

"If you are the person stealing my mail, please stop.

The authorities have been notified as what you are doing is a Federal offense. You obviously have to have a mail key which means that you were a previous occupant of this address and easy to track down.

If you do not return my mail to me within 7 days of 4/8/2010, legal action will be taken.

You cannot cash checks that aren't in your name and have no need of an acceptance letter to the University of Rhode Island."

The only thing I would add is that you will give them the antidote to the poison you soaked the paper in when they return your mail!!!  And less time to return.  48 hours!!!

Suu

That will come next. In the meantime, if anyone here has my address (and any of you who ordered shirts DO) please send me something!!!

For those that don't have my new address in Providence and want it. Message me.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

ThatGreenGentleman

What idiot would want to steal someone's mail?  :lol:
As a gentleman, it is my duty to wear top-hats.

Suu

Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."