Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

It has come to my attention that, despite what I believed to be reasonable, if moderate, efforts to be active enough and eat right, I am still 20lbs overweight.

SO, I am starting this thread to remind my fat ass of the following:

1. No fucking beer, dumbass. For one thing,  you're allergic to it. For another, it's like 300 calories a pint and will contribute mightily to the volume of your thighs.

2. No wine, either, unless you're at a dinner party. It's whiskey and soda or nothing, and only three times a week, no more than three drinks.

3. No bread, pasta, white rice, or pizza. You can have rarebit and eggs for breakfast ONLY ON CONDITION you run three miles or walk four.

4. You can have up to 8oz of red meat a week. Choose wisely.

5. You're taking one real hike a week, from 6-12 miles of uneven terrain.

6. No desserts larger than a petit-four.

7. Track those motherfucking calories, and get used to snacking on motherfucking vegetables, bucko.

[MMMW]

Treating exercise as a chore is probably the main reason people don't get enough exercise.  It's all about finding a sport you love so much that you don't need a quota. 

[tyrannosaurus vex]

Treating exercise as a chore is probably the main reason people don't get enough exercise.  It's all about finding a sport you love so much that you don't need a quota. 

This, in itself, is torturous. Sports? That shit is for Europeans.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

It has come to my attention that, despite what I believed to be reasonable, if moderate, efforts to be active enough and eat right, I am still 20lbs overweight.

SO, I am starting this thread to remind my fat ass of the following:

1. No fucking beer, dumbass. For one thing,  you're allergic to it. For another, it's like 300 calories a pint and will contribute mightily to the volume of your thighs.

2. No wine, either, unless you're at a dinner party. It's whiskey and soda or nothing, and only three times a week, no more than three drinks.

3. No bread, pasta, white rice, or pizza. You can have rarebit and eggs for breakfast ONLY ON CONDITION you run three miles or walk four.

4. You can have up to 8oz of red meat a week. Choose wisely.

5. You're taking one real hike a week, from 6-12 miles of uneven terrain.

6. No desserts larger than a petit-four.

7. Track those motherfucking calories, and get used to snacking on motherfucking vegetables, bucko.

I should follow all this advice. Except I'm not sure I could hang without bread and pasta.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Treating exercise as a chore is probably the main reason people don't get enough exercise.  It's all about finding a sport you love so much that you don't need a quota. 

I love hiking. I also love walking the city, and swimming in the rivers.

My problem, as a single mom/full time college student, is making sure I'm consciously treating fun like a priority and scheduling TIME into my highly structured week to do it. If my time was open-ended, I wouldn't have to, because I'd be up at Eagle Creek or Angel's Rest every day.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

It has come to my attention that, despite what I believed to be reasonable, if moderate, efforts to be active enough and eat right, I am still 20lbs overweight.

SO, I am starting this thread to remind my fat ass of the following:

1. No fucking beer, dumbass. For one thing,  you're allergic to it. For another, it's like 300 calories a pint and will contribute mightily to the volume of your thighs.

2. No wine, either, unless you're at a dinner party. It's whiskey and soda or nothing, and only three times a week, no more than three drinks.

3. No bread, pasta, white rice, or pizza. You can have rarebit and eggs for breakfast ONLY ON CONDITION you run three miles or walk four.

4. You can have up to 8oz of red meat a week. Choose wisely.

5. You're taking one real hike a week, from 6-12 miles of uneven terrain.

6. No desserts larger than a petit-four.

7. Track those motherfucking calories, and get used to snacking on motherfucking vegetables, bucko.

I should follow all this advice. Except I'm not sure I could hang without bread and pasta.

I'm not that fond of either, so it's no great loss to me. I can still eat whole-grain bread and pasta, but I don't like whole-grain pasta and the only whole-grain bread I like is my own, and I don't have time for baking these days. All the brands they sell at the store put sweetener in theirs, and it's disgusting.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

It has come to my attention that, despite what I believed to be reasonable, if moderate, efforts to be active enough and eat right, I am still 20lbs overweight.

SO, I am starting this thread to remind my fat ass of the following:

1. No fucking beer, dumbass. For one thing,  you're allergic to it. For another, it's like 300 calories a pint and will contribute mightily to the volume of your thighs.

2. No wine, either, unless you're at a dinner party. It's whiskey and soda or nothing, and only three times a week, no more than three drinks.

3. No bread, pasta, white rice, or pizza. You can have rarebit and eggs for breakfast ONLY ON CONDITION you run three miles or walk four.

4. You can have up to 8oz of red meat a week. Choose wisely.

5. You're taking one real hike a week, from 6-12 miles of uneven terrain.

6. No desserts larger than a petit-four.

7. Track those motherfucking calories, and get used to snacking on motherfucking vegetables, bucko.

I should follow all this advice. Except I'm not sure I could hang without bread and pasta.

I'm not that fond of either, so it's no great loss to me. I can still eat whole-grain bread and pasta, but I don't like whole-grain pasta and the only whole-grain bread I like is my own, and I don't have time for baking these days. All the brands they sell at the store put sweetener in theirs, and it's disgusting.

I hate white bread, I only eat whole grain, but yeah brand is important. Most of it is way too dry and gross. On another note, I would have no problem limiting myself to 8oz of red meat per week since that's about all I can afford anyway (thanks a lot, Obama). As for desert, I'm very meh about that. The only other thing that's hard to do is that much walking. Living in the desert, for about 5 months a year walking that much poses serious health risks, plus they don't build these cities to be very walkable.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

It has come to my attention that, despite what I believed to be reasonable, if moderate, efforts to be active enough and eat right, I am still 20lbs overweight.

SO, I am starting this thread to remind my fat ass of the following:

1. No fucking beer, dumbass. For one thing,  you're allergic to it. For another, it's like 300 calories a pint and will contribute mightily to the volume of your thighs.

2. No wine, either, unless you're at a dinner party. It's whiskey and soda or nothing, and only three times a week, no more than three drinks.

3. No bread, pasta, white rice, or pizza. You can have rarebit and eggs for breakfast ONLY ON CONDITION you run three miles or walk four.

4. You can have up to 8oz of red meat a week. Choose wisely.

5. You're taking one real hike a week, from 6-12 miles of uneven terrain.

6. No desserts larger than a petit-four.

7. Track those motherfucking calories, and get used to snacking on motherfucking vegetables, bucko.

I should follow all this advice. Except I'm not sure I could hang without bread and pasta.

I'm not that fond of either, so it's no great loss to me. I can still eat whole-grain bread and pasta, but I don't like whole-grain pasta and the only whole-grain bread I like is my own, and I don't have time for baking these days. All the brands they sell at the store put sweetener in theirs, and it's disgusting.

I hate white bread, I only eat whole grain, but yeah brand is important. Most of it is way too dry and gross. On another note, I would have no problem limiting myself to 8oz of red meat per week since that's about all I can afford anyway (thanks a lot, Obama). As for desert, I'm very meh about that. The only other thing that's hard to do is that much walking. Living in the desert, for about 5 months a year walking that much poses serious health risks, plus they don't build these cities to be very walkable.

Yeah, I'm lucky my region is so temperate.

Do you like swimming? That's a fun activity, though I bet your pools are packed.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

It has come to my attention that, despite what I believed to be reasonable, if moderate, efforts to be active enough and eat right, I am still 20lbs overweight.

SO, I am starting this thread to remind my fat ass of the following:

1. No fucking beer, dumbass. For one thing,  you're allergic to it. For another, it's like 300 calories a pint and will contribute mightily to the volume of your thighs.

2. No wine, either, unless you're at a dinner party. It's whiskey and soda or nothing, and only three times a week, no more than three drinks.

3. No bread, pasta, white rice, or pizza. You can have rarebit and eggs for breakfast ONLY ON CONDITION you run three miles or walk four.

4. You can have up to 8oz of red meat a week. Choose wisely.

5. You're taking one real hike a week, from 6-12 miles of uneven terrain.

6. No desserts larger than a petit-four.

7. Track those motherfucking calories, and get used to snacking on motherfucking vegetables, bucko.

I should follow all this advice. Except I'm not sure I could hang without bread and pasta.

I'm not that fond of either, so it's no great loss to me. I can still eat whole-grain bread and pasta, but I don't like whole-grain pasta and the only whole-grain bread I like is my own, and I don't have time for baking these days. All the brands they sell at the store put sweetener in theirs, and it's disgusting.

I hate white bread, I only eat whole grain, but yeah brand is important. Most of it is way too dry and gross. On another note, I would have no problem limiting myself to 8oz of red meat per week since that's about all I can afford anyway (thanks a lot, Obama). As for desert, I'm very meh about that. The only other thing that's hard to do is that much walking. Living in the desert, for about 5 months a year walking that much poses serious health risks, plus they don't build these cities to be very walkable.

Yeah, I'm lucky my region is so temperate.

Do you like swimming? That's a fun activity, though I bet your pools are packed.

Lucky for me I have my own pool! What's the swimming-to-walking ratio?

[MMMW]

Treating exercise as a chore is probably the main reason people don't get enough exercise.  It's all about finding a sport you love so much that you don't need a quota. 

This, in itself, is torturous. Sports? That shit is for Europeans.

And Canadians. Here rioting is a sport.

I love hiking. I also love walking the city, and swimming in the rivers.

My problem, as a single mom/full time college student, is making sure I'm consciously treating fun like a priority and scheduling TIME into my highly structured week to do it. If my time was open-ended, I wouldn't have to, because I'd be up at Eagle Creek or Angel's Rest every day.

Well, I'm impressed you have any time at all.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

It has come to my attention that, despite what I believed to be reasonable, if moderate, efforts to be active enough and eat right, I am still 20lbs overweight.

SO, I am starting this thread to remind my fat ass of the following:

1. No fucking beer, dumbass. For one thing,  you're allergic to it. For another, it's like 300 calories a pint and will contribute mightily to the volume of your thighs.

2. No wine, either, unless you're at a dinner party. It's whiskey and soda or nothing, and only three times a week, no more than three drinks.

3. No bread, pasta, white rice, or pizza. You can have rarebit and eggs for breakfast ONLY ON CONDITION you run three miles or walk four.

4. You can have up to 8oz of red meat a week. Choose wisely.

5. You're taking one real hike a week, from 6-12 miles of uneven terrain.

6. No desserts larger than a petit-four.

7. Track those motherfucking calories, and get used to snacking on motherfucking vegetables, bucko.

I should follow all this advice. Except I'm not sure I could hang without bread and pasta.

I'm not that fond of either, so it's no great loss to me. I can still eat whole-grain bread and pasta, but I don't like whole-grain pasta and the only whole-grain bread I like is my own, and I don't have time for baking these days. All the brands they sell at the store put sweetener in theirs, and it's disgusting.

I hate white bread, I only eat whole grain, but yeah brand is important. Most of it is way too dry and gross. On another note, I would have no problem limiting myself to 8oz of red meat per week since that's about all I can afford anyway (thanks a lot, Obama). As for desert, I'm very meh about that. The only other thing that's hard to do is that much walking. Living in the desert, for about 5 months a year walking that much poses serious health risks, plus they don't build these cities to be very walkable.

Yeah, I'm lucky my region is so temperate.

Do you like swimming? That's a fun activity, though I bet your pools are packed.

Lucky for me I have my own pool! What's the swimming-to-walking ratio?

Depending on the stroke and how vigorous a swimmer you are, an hour of swimming is equivalent to about an hour and a half of walking. It's excellent exercise! I'd say about 40 minutes of swimming is roughly equivalent to briskly walking four miles.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Treating exercise as a chore is probably the main reason people don't get enough exercise.  It's all about finding a sport you love so much that you don't need a quota. 

This, in itself, is torturous. Sports? That shit is for Europeans.

And Canadians. Here rioting is a sport.

I love hiking. I also love walking the city, and swimming in the rivers.

My problem, as a single mom/full time college student, is making sure I'm consciously treating fun like a priority and scheduling TIME into my highly structured week to do it. If my time was open-ended, I wouldn't have to, because I'd be up at Eagle Creek or Angel's Rest every day.

Well, I'm impressed you have any time at all.

I really have to work to make everything stay on schedule. I'm the Mussolini of homework. It's hard to get my friends to understand why I won't do anything spontaneously, but, you know, it'll fuck up my timetable. 

So I can have a high-calorie breakfast only if I've scheduled myself enough time to walk to school and back, which is four miles.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

I need to start getting serious about exercising somehow, or I'm gonna need new pants. I don't want new pants

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I need to start getting serious about exercising somehow, or I'm gonna need new pants. I don't want new pants

I just want to fit into all the pants I still have from when I was a size 6.

I'll settle for size 8 though.

[East Coast Hustle]

I need to start getting serious about exercising somehow, or I'm gonna need new pants. I don't want new pants

It works both ways.

I lost enough weight to need new pants, but I can't afford anything that I'd actually wear right now so I just walk around all saggy and baggy in the britches, looking like either a hobo or a wanna-be gangsta depending on the outfit.