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Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free

Started by Doktor Howl, April 16, 2010, 06:12:10 PM

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LMNO


The Good Reverend Roger

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Eater of Clowns

Quote from: Jenne on March 24, 2011, 07:59:07 PM
Quote from: pH on March 24, 2011, 01:24:35 PM
Quote from: Jenne on March 23, 2011, 07:38:04 PM
...but too much is always better than not enough...

Its a helluva lot easier to add a bit more than try to take away. Is it more work to gain weight or lose weight?

...depends on who you are.

*paging EoC*

:sad:

Losing weight on the bacon diet.
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

Jenne

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 24, 2011, 08:47:17 PM
Who does that just to piss Suu off.

I have a sister-in-law that does that! Damn her skinny ass for eating junk and never exercising yet maintaining the physique of a 10 year old boy!

And EoC: :( I suspected as much. Methinks Alty's in the same boat. Y'all need your own sticky thread: HOW TO BE A FAT BASTARD. but grass is Always Greener.

Triple Zero

Quote from: Jenne on March 23, 2011, 07:38:04 PM
...but too much is always better than not enough...

Actually I think that's also correct in this context. At least I think I'd prefer to have a "too much" diet that makes me fat, than be starving because I don't have enough.
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

All right.

In my quest to drop the last of my leftover unhappy-marriage pudge, I have changed everything about my entire life. Pretty much. I enjoy the hell out of my food, but it's completely different food. Few starches, minimal refined foods, almost no sweets, and I barely drink. I walk for at least an hour every day, and once a week I hike for 2-3 hours.

For the last month or so I have been on what I call the "Bucket Guy" diet; for those who don't know the story of Bucket Guy, my Spirit Guide, the condensed version is that when I worked at Rejuvenation he appeared to me one day, carrying a bucket of beautiful old lighting that had been painted over, and looking for replacements. I suggested he have them restored instead, and he replied "Nah, I don't want to deal with it". This phrase was then repeated numerous times in response to almost every suggestion I made and every question I answered, and he finally departed my store for Home Depot. Full of hate and rage, I went upstairs to the break room and fumed at my co-workers for a few minutes about him, after which one guy said "Sounds like you don't want to deal with it".

And then I was enlightened.

Anyway, the Bucket Guy Diet is what happens when you know you have to eat, but you just don't give a flying fuck. Most people end up on this diet when they're either in love or heartbroken... you know the feeling. It's the diet where you get to the point where you just can't ignore your rumbling belly anymore, so you eat the first thing you find in the fridge or cabinet that doesn't need much prep but sounds like you have a possibility of actually swallowing it. People on this diet tend to live on a lot of crackers and peanut butter, or yogurt and cereal. Tinned fish and protein shakes have gone a long way for me.

Coincidentally, a very good friend of mine was also on this diet at the same time, and we were talking about how it is, while effective, sadly unsustainable. Eventually, if I keep living on tinned fish and protein shakes, my body is going to rebel in some very unpleasant ways, so I've devised an even better diet that still allows me to not really think about what I'm eating at all. My friend and I refined it over the course of a six-mile hike; we call it the Toaster Oven Diet.

Here's what this consists of.

You have three food groups; the fish group, the asparagus group, and the millet group.

You have a little container of cooked millet in the fridge at all times. Examples of things that fall into the millet group would be brown rice, quinoa, barley...  you get the gist.

You put a little butter or grease in the bottom of a small baking pan, and on top of that you'll arrange some fish and asparagus, and a scoop of millet. Season with salt and pepper and maybe some lemon juice and garlic powder, then put it in the toaster oven and cook it for 15-20 minutes at 400 degrees. Then, you eat it. It's that simple!

A few other members of the fish food group are chicken, ham, and beef. These may require longer cooking times, so use your best judgment.

If your representative of the asparagus group is spinach or another leafy green, you should toss it in at the very end because it only needs a couple of minutes.

I find that I can cook a double portion of this in the morning, then have it for lunch as well as breakfast, and it's so easy that no matter how little I could give a crap about nutrition or my physical well-being that day, I can still eat in a way that is most likely not going to result in any severe nutritional deficiencies.

I'm down to 135 from 160, and looking to drop ten more pounds this summer.

Happy heartbreak!


"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Anna Mae Bollocks

That's basically what I've been doing, minus the fish group and I usually have some kind of beans. Had to cut the quinoa out, though, it was making me start to pork out in the middle for some reason. Bragg's liquid aminos has protein anyway and it tastes like soy sauce, only better. It probably costs $2 a day to eat this way and you'll never be an utterly fat bastard. :)
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Cain

In relation to this, since I've been putting on a bit of weight lately (I blame working nights in the last job) I'm going to experiment with Tim Ferriss' 4 hour body workout and see how it works.

Some of the advice is very similar to that presented in this thread (like plenty of vegetables, eating within half an hour of waking up etc..) in addition to some extremely stripped down exercise routines designed to work on main muscle groups.

I'll let you know how it works out.  Though I may have to clear my fridge of all the milk before I start...

Triple Zero

Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

Freeky

There's a lot of fat in milk, like A LOT of fat.  It's also supposedly not good for adults to drink.

Triple Zero

Afaik less than 3% in whole milk?

Really, cause this article I read in the NY Times said there was no difference in weight gain between people dirnking no milk and drinking whole milk and drinking skimmed milk.

But hey I'll gladly give up milk in my coffee if it means I can drink a few more beers.
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

Salty

I remember that article and there is a thread here about milk because I'm trying to put on weight. Milk just has extra calories, as opposed to drinking water.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

Jasper

Also, coconut milk (the kind in cans that is thick enough to use for cheap building materials) is very calorie dense and goes great in shakes.

Freeky

I get fat and calorie mixed up a lot...

Triple Zero

Well yeah, I don't drink milk for thirst or anything, that's what water is for.

Milk is for coffee and pancakes, mostly.

I'd probably do better cutting the sugar in my coffee.

As long as I get to drink beer.
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.