Horrible Food Decisions

[Eater of Clowns]

It's a bright day in Spring.  An hour drive north of me there are hundreds of people running 24 miles in an incredible feat of physical and mental endurance.  Others are mowing their lawns, or perhaps running much needed errands with their free time.

Not this guy.  Instead I woke up around 9:15, laid in bed for another hour or so, went on the internet, and spoke to my girlfriend, who is at work, before deciding to eat something.  Now, I've been living alone for just over a year at this point, and I'm well familiar with the concept of independent adulthood in that nobody is around to stop you if you make a horrible, horrible decision like the following little number:



That's a piece of red velvet cake with butter cream frosting, a few strawberries (you know, we have to be concerned with health here) and a cup of coffee (to unstick chunks of food from my throat after I under-chew everything and down it in record time).  The perspective is a bit skewed here, so let me just say that the cake is not a small piece.  It's taking up a big chunk of the plate, it's probably over two inches thick at the end, and, well, those strawberries are lying in the shadow it's casting.

Let's say it's the day after your birthday.  You just finished a weekend filled with wonderful friends and family to remind you how lucky you are.  In such an instance, I cannot recommend highly enough the effects of such a breakfast on highlighting how much of an idiot you are and how quickly a potentially productive day can turn into several hours groaning on your couch.

So, let this thread be about the bad, bad decisions you made with food.  Official-like.

[Doktor Howl]

Vindaloo for breakfast.   

[Juana]

Ouch.

Cheez-its.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I just stumbled out of my blood-soaked bed and am having a Swanson frozen dinner and a beer for breakfast. Fuck all of you, just because.

[Doktor Howl]

I just stumbled out of my blood-soaked bed

NO.

Things are weird enough down here without hearing fresh horror stories from Portland.   

[Richter]

Courtesy of Paul, the mad Vietnamese chef:
One omlete with "cheese" and various fried veggies, (Who in FUCK fries carrots?  Paul, that's who.) and a side of his sausage of dubious origin.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I just stumbled out of my blood-soaked bed

NO.

Things are weird enough down here without hearing fresh horror stories from Portland.   

Far more mundane than you want to know about.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

Top ramen and eggs for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

To be fair, they were different "flavors."

[Jasper]

I once mixed teriyaki sauce, salmon, rice,  soy sauce, and strawberry syrup.

Violent gastric convulsions.

[Cainad (dec.)]

Breakfast every day is bacon, fake scrambled eggs soaked in hot sauce, and either homefries or hash browns.

Every. Single. Day.

I don't know if I'm more disgusted with the habit, or the fact that I still find it tasty every single morning.

[Freeky]

A while back, some friends brought cake to our weekly D&D session, and left it. It stayed in the fridge for about a month, and went bad 2 weeks before I stopped eating it and threw it away.

Hooray for bad cake shits!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

A while back, some friends brought cake to our weekly D&D session, and left it. It stayed in the fridge for about a month, and went bad 2 weeks before I stopped eating it and threw it away.

Hooray for bad cake shits!

You are my kind of woman.

[Freeky]

A while back, some friends brought cake to our weekly D&D session, and left it. It stayed in the fridge for about a month, and went bad 2 weeks before I stopped eating it and threw it away.

Hooray for bad cake shits!

You are my kind of woman.

[Jasper]

Yanno, I'm pretty sure cake ages better at room temp under plastic wrap.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Final word

Cake bell

Yeah, look that shit up. It will change your relationship with cake.