Author Topic: Oh, Florida...  (Read 5602 times)

Doktor Howl

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Re: Oh, Florida...
« Reply #30 on: August 25, 2011, 06:55:15 pm »
Since when is a mall security guard a "law enforcement officer"?
I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, shattered underpance lies,
With blown elastic, and exploded back,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Doktor Howl, Spag of Spags:
Look on my ass, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Disco Pickle

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Re: Oh, Florida...
« Reply #31 on: August 25, 2011, 07:01:56 pm »
Since when is a mall security guard a "law enforcement officer"?

Not entirely sure but likely an off duty moonlighting.  Quite a bit of that here.  Not sure how other places are doing it but I imagine it's cheaper than Wackenhut.
Events in the past may be roughly divided into those which probably never happened and those which do not matter. --William Ralph Inge

"sometimes someone confesses a sin in order to take credit for it." -- John Von Neumann

Epimetheus

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Re: Oh, Florida...
« Reply #32 on: August 27, 2011, 09:00:06 am »
Quote
Bryant refused, police said. They said that when he was ordered to leave the mall, he screamed an expletive and said, "I'm not pulling up my pants up or leaving this (expletive) mall. You can't do anything to me. Obama runs this country."

I was immediately reminded of http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpoC7KLxjEI

Since when is a ... security guard a "law enforcement officer"?

Oh my god. This means I am a law enforcement officer. THANK YOU FLORIDA!

Quote
In a three-month period, two students killed themselves and one died in a car crash (all separate incidents) just after being hypnotized by their high school principal, George Kenney. Kenney, who has been warned by the school board multiple times in the past to stop his behavior, has already hypnotized over 75 students, staff members, and their families.

I assume there is a secret word which will activate Zombie Soldier mode in his "patients".
« Last Edit: August 27, 2011, 09:22:43 am by Epimetheus »
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Cain

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Re: Oh, Florida...
« Reply #33 on: August 27, 2011, 05:44:33 pm »
Assaulting a "law enforcement officer" shouldn't be a charge anyway.

It should just be fucking "assault".  It's not like we have "assaulting a dustbin man" charge on the books.  But, you know, gotta show the plebs that positions of authority are so special, they even get special laws to protect them.

Doktor Howl

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I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, shattered underpance lies,
With blown elastic, and exploded back,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Doktor Howl, Spag of Spags:
Look on my ass, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.