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UNLIMITED Arizona Hilarity thread

Started by Requia ☣, April 22, 2010, 04:44:30 AM

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Nephew Twiddleton

Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS


Doktor Howl

Molon Lube

Doktor Howl

Molon Lube

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Luna

Hey, remember this asshole?



Sheriff Joe Arpaio has apparently decided that it's an efficient, proper use of the State of Arizona's money to set the Cold Case Unit to a new job.

At the instigation of the Arizona Tea Party, he has assigned the unit to investigate...

Obama's birth certificate.

I shit you not.

Quote"The Surprise Tea Party is concerned," they wrote, "that no law enforcement agency or other duly constituted government agency has conducted an investigation into the Obama birth certificate to determine if it is in fact an authentic copy of 1961 birth records on file for Barack Obama at the Hawaii Department of Health in Honolulu, or whether it, or they are forgeries."

"Congress should be ashamed," Brian Reilly, a spokesman for the Surprise Tea Party, told the right-wing "news" site World Net Daily. "They didn't even have the backbone to uphold their constitutional oaths of office to initiate this investigation."
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Luna on September 20, 2011, 12:10:28 AM
Hey, remember this asshole?



Sheriff Joe Arpaio has apparently decided that it's an efficient, proper use of the State of Arizona's money to set the Cold Case Unit to a new job.

At the instigation of the Arizona Tea Party, he has assigned the unit to investigate...

Obama's birth certificate.

I shit you not.

Quote"The Surprise Tea Party is concerned," they wrote, "that no law enforcement agency or other duly constituted government agency has conducted an investigation into the Obama birth certificate to determine if it is in fact an authentic copy of 1961 birth records on file for Barack Obama at the Hawaii Department of Health in Honolulu, or whether it, or they are forgeries."

"Congress should be ashamed," Brian Reilly, a spokesman for the Surprise Tea Party, told the right-wing "news" site World Net Daily. "They didn't even have the backbone to uphold their constitutional oaths of office to initiate this investigation."


This is why he keeps getting reelected, you know.   :lulz:
Molon Lube

Luna

Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 20, 2011, 12:41:42 AM
Quote from: Luna on September 20, 2011, 12:10:28 AM
Hey, remember this asshole?



Sheriff Joe Arpaio has apparently decided that it's an efficient, proper use of the State of Arizona's money to set the Cold Case Unit to a new job.

At the instigation of the Arizona Tea Party, he has assigned the unit to investigate...

Obama's birth certificate.

I shit you not.

Quote"The Surprise Tea Party is concerned," they wrote, "that no law enforcement agency or other duly constituted government agency has conducted an investigation into the Obama birth certificate to determine if it is in fact an authentic copy of 1961 birth records on file for Barack Obama at the Hawaii Department of Health in Honolulu, or whether it, or they are forgeries."

"Congress should be ashamed," Brian Reilly, a spokesman for the Surprise Tea Party, told the right-wing "news" site World Net Daily. "They didn't even have the backbone to uphold their constitutional oaths of office to initiate this investigation."


This is why he keeps getting reelected, you know.   :lulz:

How DO you stand all that stupid?  Seriously?
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Luna on September 20, 2011, 12:46:06 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 20, 2011, 12:41:42 AM
Quote from: Luna on September 20, 2011, 12:10:28 AM
Hey, remember this asshole?



Sheriff Joe Arpaio has apparently decided that it's an efficient, proper use of the State of Arizona's money to set the Cold Case Unit to a new job.

At the instigation of the Arizona Tea Party, he has assigned the unit to investigate...

Obama's birth certificate.

I shit you not.

Quote"The Surprise Tea Party is concerned," they wrote, "that no law enforcement agency or other duly constituted government agency has conducted an investigation into the Obama birth certificate to determine if it is in fact an authentic copy of 1961 birth records on file for Barack Obama at the Hawaii Department of Health in Honolulu, or whether it, or they are forgeries."

"Congress should be ashamed," Brian Reilly, a spokesman for the Surprise Tea Party, told the right-wing "news" site World Net Daily. "They didn't even have the backbone to uphold their constitutional oaths of office to initiate this investigation."


This is why he keeps getting reelected, you know.   :lulz:

How DO you stand all that stupid?  Seriously?

Drugs.  Loads and loads of drugs.
Molon Lube

Cain

Hey, I heard somewhere that in Arizona you now have to pay a fee in order to visit someone in prison.

Prince Glittersnatch III

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?=743264506 <---worst human being to ever live.

http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/False%20Religions/Other%20Pagan%20Mumbo-Jumbo/discordianism.htm <----Learn the truth behind Discordianism

Quote from: Aleister Growly on September 04, 2010, 04:08:37 AM
Glittersnatch would be a rather unfortunate condition, if a halfway decent troll name.

Quote from: GIGGLES on June 16, 2011, 10:24:05 PM
AORTAL SEX MADES MY DICK HARD AS FUCK!

Cramulus

ugh. that's how prisons used to operate. There was a period of history when prisons were totally privately run. Not surprisingly, they were more concerned with profits than criminal justice. Prisoners had to pay for their own beds and food or they'd be forced to live in really hellish conditions. Usually the prisoner's family had to cover it. They'd also make your family pay an extra fee to release you--whether or not your sentence was up or not.

Luna

Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Juana

http://gawker.com/5863916/former-gop-sheriff-of-the-year-busted-in-gay-sex+for+meth-deal

QuoteFormer GOP Sheriff of the Year Busted in Gay Sex-for-Meth Deal

Patrick J. Sullivan Jr. was the beloved Republican sheriff of Arapahoe County, Colo., for nearly 20 years before he retired in 2002. In 2001, he was named national Sheriff of the Year. Yesterday he was arrested by the department he used to run for offering a man meth in exchange for sex.

Happens to the best of them! The details sound suspiciously like another prominent Colorado Republican who had a secret gay meth-life: Ted Haggard. From the New York Times:

QuoteSheriff Robinson said the police had begun an investigation into Mr. Sullivan's activities on Nov. 17 after several individuals alerted the authorities that he might be involved with methamphetamines.

    The investigation led the police to a home on Tuesday where they say Mr. Sullivan agreed to provide drugs to a longtime, adult male associate, in exchange for sex. He was taken into custody without incident, Sheriff Robinson said.

    According to a probable cause statement filed in court on Wednesday morning, two confidential informants told police they had engaged in sexual activity with Mr. Sullivan before, in exchange for methamphetamines or cash.

It's not clear whether Sullivan's love of meth-sex may have predated his retirement. He was booked into that Arapahoe County Jail, which also goes by the name Patrick J. Sullivan Jr. Detention Facility.
:lulz:
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

Freeky

The desert ALWAYS makes the best crazies.  Always.