Freeky's Fread For Failed Food. FFFUUUU-

[Freeky]

I'ma be using this thread to post food that are sub-par to what I usually make, in the hopes that maybe someone can give me pointers and say where I went wrong.

Will be posting a recipe shortly.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

I am tapping my fingers on my desk in antici...............................................................


















...........................pation

[Freeky]

I am tapping my fingers on my desk in anticipation

Sorry, it wasn't finished. Is now, though. Hang on.

[Freeky]

FAIL RECIPE #1: Mostly Root Vegetable Soup with Barley.



Ingredients:

Kohlrabi (3)
Carrots (about 2 pounds)
Potatoes (about 2 - 2 1/2 pounds)
Green onions (as many as come in a bunch in your local grocery store)
Garlic (one whole bulb)
Broccoli (3 big trees)
Barley (3/4 cup)
Lemon (1 of them)
Chicken Stock (3 small boxes worth, whatever that is)
Water (4 cups)

Peel and cut up everything except the barley and lemon.



Put it all in a big metal thing that fits in a grill, coat lightly in oil (canola, in this case) and season to taste. (I smoked the vegetables as well as grill-roasted them.)

Wait.



Wait some more.



When they seem done (more tender than raw), take them off the grill.



Blenderfy the veggies with some chicken stock. Alternate between food chop and high pulse, if you can. (I gotta say, at this point, I was winging it and had no idea what I was doing.)



At some point, you should probably start boiling some water for the barley. It takes 45 minutes, if you get the stuff where the hulls have been taken off. Zest and squeeze lemon into the water, and bring to a boil.



Add 3/4 cup barley to 4 cups of boiling water. Reduce heat and simmer for 45 - 50 minutes, or follow the directions on the bag/box/whatever.  (Apparently I turned it down too low, and it was merely staying warm.)



Add barley to mix. Drain if necessary.

The end.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

and it tasted like...

[Freeky]

It tastes meh. Like salsa with some barley in it.

I think I got too ambitious.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

Well, none of those veggies really have a reach out and grab you flavor.  Maybe more and or different spicing, tomato.

I would have added some roasted poblano peppers, olives, a lot more onion, tyme, maybe some rosemary, a pinch of sage and either whole tomatoes or tomato paste for the zing.  I also would have left the veggies chunkier.

[Freeky]

I'll keep that in mind next time I make tomato soup. Thanks, Khara.

[BADGE OF HONOR]

If something tastes meh it usually needs more salt.  Maybe add more chicken stock?  It's salty and tasty.  Plus it's full of delicious collagen which will make everything silkier in your mouf.

[Freeky]

I was thinking to put in some milk as well as more chicken stock (I'ma need a bigger pot...).

It mostly needs more liquid, but I wish I could make it smoother.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

I'll keep that in mind next time I make tomato soup. Thanks, Khara.

Ummmm I didn't mean it that way, I just meant with those types of veggies, you need some acidity and tomatos would have worked.  Not make tomato soup.  Sorry. I'll stay out of it!

[LMNO]

Yes, acids/salts.  Khara speaks truth.

lemon/lime juice, red/white/cider vinegars, fresh (not canned) tomatoes... anything with a sharp bite to it will "brighten" flavors.

Also, you have no spice heat (actually, you have no spices).  Black pepper, jalepeno, sirracca, tobasco, Frank's Hot Sauce, Chipotle in Adobo... any of this would add flavor.

Also: Bay leaf, thyme, oregano, cumin, sage.  Any of those would help.

[Freeky]

I'll keep that in mind next time I make tomato soup. Thanks, Khara.

Ummmm I didn't mean it that way, I just meant with those types of veggies, you need some acidity and tomatos would have worked.  Not make tomato soup.  Sorry. I'll stay out of it!

What? No, I frequently make tomato soup, and figured I'd put a lot of the stuff I used this go round in the next time I did. I didn't want to use tomatoes this time because I didn't have that many.

Sorry?

LMNO: Yes.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

Don't listen to LMNO, some anchovies, vinegar, and several minced ginger roots are all you need.

[Freeky]

Don't listen to LMNO, some anchovies, vinegar, and several minced ginger roots are all you need.

That doesn't sound very good.