Principia Discordia > Horrorology

So, Jim...When Did We Join The Monkeys?

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Doktor Howl:
Jim, while I am definitely not going to claim to be an authority on Discordianism, I am entitled to and do have my own opinions on what qualifies or disqualifies a person.  Let me stress that again:  In my eyes, there are some things that preclude you from being a Discordian, as I understand it.  There.  Enough e-prime.

It is my opinion that when you start identifying with the various fake ideologies that the monkeys have all bought, you drop on your knuckles and no longer qualify as a biped...This, in turn, disqualifies you as a Discordian for the duration of your error.  This would include political, economic, religious, and fraternal beliefs. 

For example, if you identify yourself as a "Libertarian" or a "Liberal" or a "Baptist" or an "American Legionaire", then that's what you are.  Enjoy it.  Don't try to redefine Discordianism to fit your new and ridiculous beliefs.  All of the above are monkey traps, and while you have the perfect right to crawl right into one and close the cage behind you, please don't get your poop all over the rest of us.  We'll still be here when you remember how to think, and - as the man said - you can come back, baby, rock n roll never forgets.

We are not on ANY of their sides, as none of them are on OUR side.

One test of humanity is whether or not you spend all day trying to pound square pegs into round holes...By which I mean whether you try to warp and twist some ideology you think looks GREAT on paper into functioning in the real world.    If you're in the habit of doing this, then you'd be better off joining the organization that most closely resembles your belief, and then riding it WHOLE HOG, until the inherent idiocies make themselves plain to you.  This may be the only way to cure yourself, and even if you don't, you'll have more fun than the other monkeys you're associating with.

This seems to be the solution for a lot of things...Take it, and then run it right to the wall.  If it can't stand the strain, it's not valid.  If the others can't handle the strange bodily fluids you emit, or the strange howlings of the rock n roll you blast while you stress-test their system, then you'll know the truth.

It even happens here.  When things go in the shitter, the weak-kneed so-called "Discordians" get all huffy and "throw a Paes", and piss off until things are nice and safe and vanilla again.  This century isn't going to be kind to them, I think.  In fact, I think it's going to be a real bummer.

Which is okay.  More fun for the rest of us.

Okay for now,

Mesozoic Mister Nigel:

I approve this fucking message.

This motorcycle is the correct one! Sorry I can't add much more, but Dok pretty much said it all.

It's always been easy for a lot of people to follow. They are the kind to point at a leader and say, "What a great person." They are sheep and always will be. Personally I don't care what label is slapped on me because I simply don't care what other people think.


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