So, Jim...When Did We Join The Monkeys?

[Payne]

They help the other 94% of our planetary cohabs get with the fucking program, is what.  Without an ideology to guide them, they'd go the way of the neandertals.

I'm quite sure that's the rationalization.

And it sure helped in 1939.

Oh, point.

So how do you propose we keep ideologies from the masses?  

I don't.  I am uninterested in saving the masses.

That's Payne's job, anyway, and he's dead.

He didn't learn from Curly's fate.  Or Jesus.  Or MLK.  Or Gandhi.  Or Malcolm X.  Or John Dillinger.

The masses don't want to be saved, and they'll kill you if you try.

I have an advantage over them though, in that I am so spectacularly awesome that I keep bouncing back. much of a pain in the ass that not even the disreputable afterlifes will take me in.

The last time I preached at someone in real life, I was too drunk, too pink and too stupid to be effective at it. Then I realised I didn't want to be that kind of person anyway, that I'd be much more entertained by watching that happen than by doing it. I'm saving my Sermon on the Mount moment for the Disco Times.

For now, my duties consist mostly of listening to the woes of certain people, telling them "I'm not that kind of Messiah, but..." and then giving them a glimpse into my otherworldly and unimaginable Holy Wisdom^TM. If someone is really lucky, I may wave my dick at them.

[Jasper]

I think this is the discussion that led me to lose hope for an enlightened world.  It's been liberating, I must say.

[Payne]

I haven't read it before now, but somehow I've always gotten this vibe from Howl and TGRR. The differences betwen them are obviously in many ways minimal but this was one of the really defining threads that struck me when Dok Howl became the player here and TGRR stepped back.

I dunno if any of the above makes any sense, but it's palpable to me.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

That's jsut the way to have it Dok.  Beign a sedate, peaceful, observing student doesn't learn you JACK.  Stand patient and attentive, hands folded or notepad out, on the sideline long enough, and the best that will happen is someone tells you to get out of the way.  Grabbing the horns of the beast in one hand, the balls in the other, screaming at the heavens and seeing just HOW fast it will go is what makes worthwhile experience.  

Like we found out this weekend, when some folks are doing it HARDER, FASTER, or MORE FUN than before, there will always be fireworks.  Kind of like surfing a rock slide on a smiling buddha.  It'll wear away, and you'll be toast soon, but it's hillarious, and the fucker is smilling still, all the way down.

America isn't a Caddilac, Richter.  It's a goddamn 1955 Jeep with rusted floorboards and bad valves.  You drive it hard, and you drive it fast, and roads are for those going to the supermarket.  What you do, is you take this attitude to the new guru of your choice, and you apply it to his nads.   If he screams, listen to what he's screaming...If he's hollering that you need to stop, then get the fuck out of there.  If he starts yelling at you to go faster, to smash through the fucking drywall and see what's behind the Dojo, then maybe he has something to say.

But you're going to find that all these -isms and their adherents aren't about that, Richter.  They already have all the answers, shit, they got so many answers they've forgotten how to ask questions.

And that's no way to be a biped.

Wow.  Pills here & shit.

[Jasper]

I feel the degree of PILLZ HERE was a compliment, not a detriment, to the message.

[Luna]

That's jsut the way to have it Dok.  Beign a sedate, peaceful, observing student doesn't learn you JACK.  Stand patient and attentive, hands folded or notepad out, on the sideline long enough, and the best that will happen is someone tells you to get out of the way.  Grabbing the horns of the beast in one hand, the balls in the other, screaming at the heavens and seeing just HOW fast it will go is what makes worthwhile experience.  

Like we found out this weekend, when some folks are doing it HARDER, FASTER, or MORE FUN than before, there will always be fireworks.  Kind of like surfing a rock slide on a smiling buddha.  It'll wear away, and you'll be toast soon, but it's hillarious, and the fucker is smilling still, all the way down.

America isn't a Caddilac, Richter.  It's a goddamn 1955 Jeep with rusted floorboards and bad valves.  You drive it hard, and you drive it fast, and roads are for those going to the supermarket.  What you do, is you take this attitude to the new guru of your choice, and you apply it to his nads.   If he screams, listen to what he's screaming...If he's hollering that you need to stop, then get the fuck out of there.  If he starts yelling at you to go faster, to smash through the fucking drywall and see what's behind the Dojo, then maybe he has something to say.

But you're going to find that all these -isms and their adherents aren't about that, Richter.  They already have all the answers, shit, they got so many answers they've forgotten how to ask questions.

And that's no way to be a biped.

Wow.  Pills here & shit.

Good stuff.

[BadBeast]

"So what is Discordianism, really?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean what is it?"

"I'm not following you."

" "

TGRR'S DICTUM:  Ask 8 Discordians what Discordianism is, and you'll get 9 answers.

And eight of them will be wrong.

[Adios]

"So what is Discordianism, really?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean what is it?"

"I'm not following you."

" "

TGRR'S DICTUM:  Ask 8 Discordians what Discordianism is, and you'll get 9 answers.

And eight of them will be wrong.

And correct at the same time.

[BadBeast]

"So what is Discordianism, really?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean what is it?"

"I'm not following you."

" "

TGRR'S DICTUM:  Ask 8 Discordians what Discordianism is, and you'll get 9 answers.

And eight of them will be wrong.

And correct at the same time.

Meaning the ninth answer, (mine) is the only one that's not a paradox. Thing is, my answer was "Cherry Garcia". Which actually sums up Discordianism as accurately as anything else does.
Cool, delicicious, with little bits of fruity yumminess. Just don't leave it out in the sun for too long.

[SmokeyMcChickenson]

You guys are terrible discordians. You don't even do the silly naked monkey act well.

Your like greased up deaf guy chasing himself in a mirror maze.

As for the OP

You are a fucking hypocrite 

p.s.

Can someone please make a Fnord emoticon that winks dismissively?

kthnxby

[Doktor Howl]

You guys are terrible discordians.

We know.

[Doktor Howl]

Bump

[Payne]

This thread makes me laugh, in that belly heaving chuckling kinda way. You know, like a wise old obese chinaman.

[BadBeast]

This thread has got me mirthing like a motherfucker!

That deep fried McChicken tastes like Chuffin' McMuffin!  O'Flaharty McTarty.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

You guys are terrible discordians. You don't even do the silly naked monkey act well.

Your like greased up deaf guy chasing himself in a mirror maze.

As for the OP

You are a fucking hypocrite 

p.s.

Can someone please make a Fnord emoticon that winks dismissively?

kthnxby

Oh shit. ENDORSEMENT OF THE YEAR.