How the fuck did I get here?

[Doktor Howl]

If a younger me fell through a wormhole back in 1985, and got a look at me now, he'd be aghast.  A kid who only cared about sex, drugs, and rock n roll looking at his future self, sitting in an office at a refinery, brooding while spinning a pencil in his hands like in that old Don Henley video (My colleagues think I'm brooding over work issues.  I'm not.).

Jesus, how the hell did I get here?

How did I ever find myself in Big Oil, strung out on stress medication, and thinking about a girl that's thousands of miles away?  When did I stop chasing what I wanted?  At what point did I become so fucking obnoxiously complacent?

This kind of shit sneaks up on you, I think.  One weekend, you just fuck off and don't go out, because work kinda kicked your ass...Then you wake up and months have gone by since you shot anything.  There's plenty of challenge, but no fun.  Even abusing evangelists has worn thin.

Something must be done.

Okay for now,
Dok

[Jasper]

I don't care to numerate how many times this has happened to me.  And I'm half your age.

Hopefully I'm having what you've got in reverse.

[Doktor Howl]

I don't care to numerate how many times this has happened to me.  And I'm half your age.

Hopefully I'm having what you've got in reverse.

If so, you aren't going to remember 2030-2035, so bring a flashcam.

[Jasper]

Hell, I'll get a pinhole webcam built into my forehead. 

Really though, I need to do more with my weekends than catch up on sleep and practice my baking.

[Doktor Howl]

Hell, I'll get a pinhole webcam built into my forehead. 

Really though, I need to do more with my weekends than catch up on sleep and practice my baking.

This.  Youth is fucking wasted on the young.  Why the hell aren't you out getting all fucked up at shows and sleeping with women that will scare the fuck out of you in the morning?

[NotPublished]

I think youth is wasted on me, when I was 17 I was turning 28, I think I'm 22 now?


Only recently I've discovered how to do things for the fun of it, but now I get shot down for not being 'Mature'. I like to think its mostly out of jealousy.. And its not like I do fun shit all the time! I work full-time, a strong dedication to a hobby (Hoping to go pro one day ~ I thoroughly enjoy this of course ) - so I get limited going out time on the weekend... When I use it the way I want, I'm suddenly 'not thinking' ...

Before that, I was way too focused on career, goals and the future vision - I forgot to look in the present and I forgot to live, even just be a damn human.

I don't care what they think, the benefit of growing up in a disfunctional family like mine, if people want to try control me - I can easily just turn my back and do my own thing...

But what is this faggotry? I was instilled by many many many many many people in my youth to focus on the future, but what the fuck FOR?

[Lies]

If a younger me fell through a wormhole back in 1985, and got a look at me now, he'd be aghast.  A kid who only cared about sex, drugs, and rock n roll looking at his future self, sitting in an office at a refinery, brooding while spinning a pencil in his hands like in that old Don Henley video (My colleagues think I'm brooding over work issues.  I'm not.).

Jesus, how the hell did I get here?

How did I ever find myself in Big Oil, strung out on stress medication, and thinking about a girl that's thousands of miles away?  When did I stop chasing what I wanted?  At what point did I become so fucking obnoxiously complacent?

This kind of shit sneaks up on you, I think.  One weekend, you just fuck off and don't go out, because work kinda kicked your ass...Then you wake up and months have gone by since you shot anything.  There's plenty of challenge, but no fun.  Even abusing evangelists has worn thin.

Something must be done.

Okay for now,
Dok

I've read this now several times.
You know why?
Cus there was this voice in my head, saying, "PAY ATTENTION: THIS COULD BE YOU ONE DAY".

It's scaring me a little, Dok.

[Eater of Clowns]

You didn't know, Doktor?  There is no youth any longer.  Youth is gone.  You ought to know with a kid of your own, and I'm sure any other parent here would love to tell you about all the times kids, maybe not their own, are taught to be afraid to do anything.  Trick or treating was one of the first to go - first it was strangers and then it was candy and now they're telling you not to go out after dark.  Everyone could be, and probably is, out to get you as a child, every adult knows that every other person you see on the street is a pedophile just waiting for you to turn your back on your kid.

Youth is about being carefree, no worries, no stress.  Tabula rasa doesn't exist anymore.  It doesn't come with a list of sins, nothing about apples or paradise.  It comes with a number.  That's what you owe when you're young.  Then it's a fight, not to decrease it, but only to stop it from growing as fast as it could.

But there's a plus side to the new and improved young.  You can do little dance numbers like Beyonce in tiny costumes and be cheered for.  You can be sexy.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Ben Folds wrote the soundtrack to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-DoRYYHJL8