The Five Pillars of Discordia

[Darth Cupcake]

How it applies to N00bs:

Be honest, be clever, and hang the fuck on.

Exactly.  Discordianism should require a hard hat, safety glasses, double-bagged condoms, and asbestos gloves.

I am printing up stickers AS WE SPEAK (well, AS SOON AS MY BOSS LEAVES FOR HER MEETING) that say "Life should require a hard hat, safety glasses, double-bagged condoms, and asbestos gloves." Because that is accurate.

Also, for the OP. Although I do the majority of my posting in the fluff category, it is the presence of all five pillars in this forum that keeps me coming back. We got good shit here that you don't find elsewhere. We got good enough shit that I don't bother posting anywhere other than fluff unless I really think I have something really good to contribute--the majority of the posting that happens outside Fluff Land is really good stuff, and I think sometimes when we're complaining about fluff, we forget that people aren't posting other stuff because sometimes we don't know what to say or have something ready and we're self-editing so that when we do actually post, it's worthwhile.

Like, our fluff is REALLY fluffy. But our good shit is SO GODDAMN GOOD. I think there's an interrelatedness there.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

The OP was FUCKING GREAT. Rainbow mittens made of kittens and win!

[Jasper]

This is something I can get behind. 

[The Wizard]

Nice work, Dok.  Very nice work.

[Telarus]

Very nicely put, Dok.

Reminded me of explaining one of the more esoteric Eris myths to my girlfriend (the one with Herakles). Considering the 'Pillar' metaphor, I'm going to post the myth below to remind us all that the greeks knew quite well what consequences attacking and hammering on Strife lead to:

http://www.theoi.com/Daimon/Eris.html

Aesop, Fables 534 (from Chambry 129) (trans. Gibbs) (Greek fable C6th B.C.) :
"Herakles was making his way through a narrow pass. He saw something that looked like an apple lying on the ground and he tried to smash it with his club. After having been struck by the club, the thing swelled up to twice its size. Herakles struck it again with his club, even harder than before, and the thing then expanded to such a size that it blocked Herakles's way. Herakles let go of his club and stood there, amazed. Athena saw him and said, `O Herakles, don't be so surprised! This thing that has brought about your confusion is Aporia (Contentiousness) and Eris (Strife). If you just leave it alone, it stays small; but if you decide to fight it, then it swells from its small size and grows large.'"

[Kai]

Yes to the OP, yes to the five pillars. ALL five of them.

[Kai]

The first pillar reminds me of the beneficial strife that Eris inspires, the competition between people and within themselves that leads to growth. I remember Cain mentioning this at one point.

[P3nT4gR4m]

OP is the last fucking word! I've complained for the last year or two that I don't have fuck all to contribute but that's my block. All other pillars apply. The drama. The fluff and, above all, the friendship. This board, over any other place, irl or interbutts, is the one place where I think, if I were to announce I had a terminal disease, there'd be people who gave a shit. That might merely be an indightment of my irl situation but I like to think it's more than that. Long live this place.

[Cramulus]

OP is the last fucking word! I've complained for the last year or two that I don't have fuck all to contribute but that's my block. All other pillars apply. The drama. The fluff and, above all, the friendship. This board, over any other place, irl or interbutts, is the one place where I think, if I were to announce I had a terminal disease, there'd be people who gave a shit. That might merely be an indightment of my irl situation but I like to think it's more than that. Long live this place.

you're totally right about the terminal disease thing







we'd give such a shit that we'd throw the best fuckin party ever




long live this sarterian xarlacc pit

[Faust]

The house of Eris is held up by five pillars, five concepts that have kept this board and this way of life going for 8 years now.  Not everyone has any use for all five of these, but to attempt to eliminate one or more of them is to begin the gradual destruction of the user base (this is already happening, after the no-fluff crusade a month or so ago).

These five pillars are:

The First Pillar:  Discord.  Drama and infighting have always been a part of PD, right from the very beginning.  Sometimes it's low key, sometimes it's mad screeching and hollering, all over the board.  It's not ALL of what Discordia is, but it IS an intrinsic part.  If this makes you pull up your skirts and shriek, maybe you should find out wherever Paes scurried off to, and join him.  Eris wants no sissies.

The Second Pillar:  Fluff.  Fluff has also always been part of PD.  It's where we get some of our best ideas, and it's also a way people have fun.  Remember fun?  That thing you used to have before you became srsly srs?  Now, I'm not advocating a return to the days when Hugh and Malaul ran through EVERY THREAD babbling about cookies and pie and tequila stabbity stabbity, but fluff threads themselves are pretty fucking obvious, and if you don't like it, don't click.  

The recent attempt at a crackdown on fluff cut our user base by a third, and did not increase content.  In fact, content went down with it.  Nobody likes being humiliated publicly when their thread name is changed to some demeaning shit, or when someone comes onto a thread where people are having a conversation and berates them for having that conversation.  Fluff never hurt a fucking thing, and it's actually half the reason many of our longer-term users still come here.  If you're that butthurt by people having an innocent conversation, then an exciting new career in the cat-herding field, or perhaps the Mormon Church, may be for you.

The Third Pillar:  Rants.  This is fairly self-evident, but there's a couple of issues here that ought to be addressed.  The first is that nobody is actually required to read your rants, or having read them, respond to them.  Sometimes people don't have time or energy to dish out a page and a half describing your greatness and wit, and they express themselves with mittens.  It's better than nothing.  Granted, it IS disappointing to pound out a thousand words and get no responses, but life is full of little disappointments like this.  If you can't handle it, go save the world with blogs.  Or take over for Krugmann when he retires.

The other thing is derails.  Threads ARE going to derail, but why fucking hurry it?  Think before you post; if your gem of wisdom has nothing to do with the actual OP, start a new thread.  On the other hand, when a legitimate point in a response causes the thread to drift, it's not the end of the world.  The point is the discussion, not an endless rehash of the OP.  If, however, you just feel the need to fuck with a thread to show how zany you are, don't cry when you get your very own unlimited thread.

The Fourth Pillar:  Discussions/Projects/Pranks.  If they're political, God help you.  That being said, if you're bringing up the same argument for the 30th time, expect the same rebuttal for the 30th time.  Also, if you're trying to convert people to libertarianism, Catholicism, Liberalism, Conservativism, etc, then you are probably at the wrong place, and while you are by all means welcome to remain, perhaps you should evangelize elsewhere.  Of course, that's not what's going to happen, so wear a fucking helmet.  And as for you who are offended by the 500th Libertarianism thread in a month, again, don't fucking click.  How goddamn hard is it?

The beautiful thing about PD is, you can bring your latest genius idea here, whether it be political theory or an idea for a prank, throw it to the howling masses, and watch them tear it to bits.  If it survives this place, it's almost certainly a valid idea.  But don't whimper when it's ripped to bits.  If that really bothers you, you probably should post it on a board that's already dedicated to something similar, where everyone will tell you what a genius you are.

The Fifth Pillar:  Friends.  Many of us have been here for years, and I consider many of you just as much of a friend as anyone in "real life" (with the exception that I probably haven't puked on you).  If you're one of those people who thinks that treating people here like shit is okay and hilarious because "it's only the internet", then you're probably better off at 4Chan or Camp Idiot, among other psychopaths of your kind.

Now, please don't take the above as an order for certain types of people to vacate.  Instead, think of the above as a set of suggestions as to where you might have better luck posting certain things or behaving a certain way when you feel the need.  Eris' house has many rooms, and not everyone has to do everything in the bathroom.  Fucking perverts.

Okay for now,
Dok

Seems like a good summary of how it has gone and how it should continue to do so.

[Jasper]

Kind of amazing how this actually encapsulates everything I like about this place.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

Dok this is beautiful. 

[Doktor Howl]

Dok this is beautiful. 

Thanks.   

[East Coast Hustle]

Hell the fuck yeah. This is great stuff. We all need to be reminded not to take this place for granted once in a while and this is just the thing.

[Freeky]

I miss being able to keep up with stuff during the day, cuz otherwise I almost miss stuff like this!