Mangrove, RIP

[Doktor Howl]

I regret to inform you that Mangrove is no longer with us.  At 2:00 this morning, he was torn to pieces by latex fetishists for reasons that have not been properly explained. 

Mangrove was a freak, from the day he was born.  He was an unruly child, and was expelled from the American school system after The Incident.  Details were never made public, as he was a minor, and the teacher in question still hasn't remembered how to speak English, so we'll probably never know.

In his later life, he was a highly-paid killer for the Antignano gang, as well as being their lawyer and literary agent.  Despite his horrible handicap, the police were never able to pin anything on him, Even on those occasions where he was seen running the streets with blood on his shirt and bits of flesh hanging from his grotesquely protruding teeth.

The necklace he fashioned from the foreskins of his victims will be placed on private display at the Smithsonian, next to John Dillinger's penis, and other examples of freakery best not viewed by the general public.  His patents revert to Mama Diabo's House of Bondage.

Viewing will be private, and the funeral will take place in Los Angeles, where the 55 gallon drum he's been stuffed into will be tipped into a drainage canal, hopefully to be carried out to sea.  It's better that way.

So goodbye, Mang, you hideous fucking freak.  You will not be missed in high society, but you will be mourned by your people, in the shitty bodegas and the places where low men gather.  You were a giant among them, and their lives will never be the same.

Okay for now,
Dok

[Lies]

Oh really? Crap :'(

He was a good Mang... too beautiful for the world, and not ample enough to be shared peacefully amongst the fetishists.

[Richter]

Donations in memoriam may be made to the home for wayward Scrid, the Polystyrene Nose Support Society, or the SKOONN Chapter of your choosing.  (Except for the Circle of the Hermetically Sealed.  Fuckers.)

[LMNO]

לילה טוב, נסיך מתוק. בקושי הכרנו אותך.

[Doktor Howl]

לילה טוב, נסיך מתוק. בקושי הכרנו אותך.

No, both ass cheeks were still intact, at least according to the coroner.  One tooth missing, though.

[The Open Bar]

Things you didn't know about Mangrove that were secret but now revealed in light of his recent passing.

1) He wasn't an expert on jazz. In actuality,he owned one Acker Bilk album on 8 track tape.

2) He told people he listened to Sonic Youth to sound cool. (see above)

3) In spite of his intricate (eg: boring) posts about the Qabalah and the numerical permutations of Gematria, he was horrible at math. In fact, his level of numeracy would embarrass even the most brain dead check out clerk.

4) He secretly hoped to be cast in a hit sit-com.

5) He told people his favorite book was 'Ulysses' by James Joyce. In fact, his favorite reading material was Archie Comics. Furthermore, he always had a thing for Betty Cooper.

[AFK]

I'll be playing Yngwie records all day in his honor.