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US Army wife admits: 3d film got her pregnant

Started by Lies, May 10, 2010, 02:33:50 AM

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Lies

May 10, 2010, 02:33:50 AM
QuoteThe wife of a US Army soldier, Jennifer Stweart, claims she got pregnant by watching a 3D adult film while visiting friends in New York.

38-year-old Jennifer Stweart used the bizarre claims to explain to her husband why their child was black, despite the lovers being very much white skinned.

http://newsolio.com/jennifer-stweart-3d-film-got-me-pregnant,9895

:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

There's so much lail in the story I nearly died of laughter
- So the New World Order does not actually exist?
- Oh it exists, and how!
Ask the slaves whose labour built the White House;
Ask the slaves of today tied down to sweatshops and brothels to escape hunger;
Ask most women, second class citizens, in a pervasive rape culture;
Ask the non-human creatures who inhabit the planet:
whales, bears, frogs, tuna, bees, slaughtered farm animals;
Ask the natives of the Americas and Australia on whose land
you live today, on whose graves your factories, farms and neighbourhoods stand;
ask any of them this, ask them if the New World Order is true;
they'll tell you plainly: the New World Order... is you!

Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ

#1
May 10, 2010, 02:36:10 AM
 :lulz: what tard would believe that

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#2
May 10, 2010, 02:36:23 AM
 :horrormirth:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Dysnomia

#3
May 10, 2010, 02:49:00 AM
OH FUCK


:lulz:

That's worse than when my parents bought my hickies in highschool being because I was sleepy, but had to get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, and slipping on my loft bed ladder.
It's all fun and games, till someone gets herpes.

http://cdn.smosh.com/smosh-pit/122010/mow-the-lawn.gif

Hoser McRhizzy

#4
May 10, 2010, 03:11:27 AM
call 'nannigans?

QuoteDespite her wifes bizarre explanation, Iraq US military man Erick Jhonson said: "I see it as suspicious. The films in 3D are very real. With today's technology, anything is possible."

This seems too badly written to be anything but faked.  Pronoun's wrong, apostrophe's missing, the punctuation for Jhonson's quote... and is the guy Swedish?  & "Jennifer Stweart"?

But then, with today's journalism, anything is possible...  :cry:


- full-time curmudgeon, part-time grammar nazi.
It feels unreal because it's trickling up.

Vene

#5
May 10, 2010, 04:05:48 AM
Quote from: Nurse Rhizome on May 10, 2010, 03:11:27 AM
call 'nannigans?

QuoteDespite her wifes bizarre explanation, Iraq US military man Erick Jhonson said: "I see it as suspicious. The films in 3D are very real. With today's technology, anything is possible."

This seems too badly written to be anything but faked.  Pronoun's wrong, apostrophe's missing, the punctuation for Jhonson's quote... and is the guy Swedish?  & "Jennifer Stweart"?

But then, with today's journalism, anything is possible...  :cry:


- full-time curmudgeon, part-time grammar nazi.
Confirmed fake.

QuoteEditor's Update : "As far fetched as it seems this came from a reputable source. it would, however seem that it is a fabrication. PopJolly staff were unable to validate the source after repeated attempts. The good folks at Gizmodo have clarified the story now. We got onioned . Sorry, move on! "
link

Lies

#6
May 10, 2010, 05:56:18 AM
Heh, yeah. I thought it was just too hilarious to be true.
- So the New World Order does not actually exist?
- Oh it exists, and how!
Ask the slaves whose labour built the White House;
Ask the slaves of today tied down to sweatshops and brothels to escape hunger;
Ask most women, second class citizens, in a pervasive rape culture;
Ask the non-human creatures who inhabit the planet:
whales, bears, frogs, tuna, bees, slaughtered farm animals;
Ask the natives of the Americas and Australia on whose land
you live today, on whose graves your factories, farms and neighbourhoods stand;
ask any of them this, ask them if the New World Order is true;
they'll tell you plainly: the New World Order... is you!

Hoser McRhizzy

#7
May 10, 2010, 06:06:22 AM
It was a good idea, though.  Make up some shit about stoopid racist people with overtones of immaculate conception, and we all get to fantasize about the future of 3D pron (ok, that was probably just me).  One edit might have kept this going... 

*a moment of silence for the well-intentioned but lazy prankster*


(Also, Vene is speedy!)
It feels unreal because it's trickling up.

Rococo Modem Basilisk

#8
May 10, 2010, 01:56:34 PM
I saw a variant of this a week or two ago. Apparently fabricated by a brazillian newspaper.


I am not "full of hate" as if I were some passive container. I am a generator of hate, and my rage is a renewable resource, like sunshine.

AFK

#9
May 10, 2010, 02:01:46 PM
They could've made it more believable by adding a little more white-trash.  Like, for example, have the 3D movie be about alien abductions or something. 
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

Dysfunctional Cunt

#10
May 10, 2010, 02:28:33 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on May 10, 2010, 02:01:46 PM
They could've made it more believable by adding a little more white-trash.  Like, for example, have the 3D movie be about alien abductions or something. 

THIS

:lulz:

Rococo Modem Basilisk

#11
May 10, 2010, 02:30:19 PM
There are already several versions floating around, I guess. We could almost certainly distribute a variant with UFOs. Maybe crossbreed it with that south african article with the goat chimera.


I am not "full of hate" as if I were some passive container. I am a generator of hate, and my rage is a renewable resource, like sunshine.

Adios

#12
May 10, 2010, 02:55:24 PM
Or you could be original.

P3nT4gR4m

#13
May 10, 2010, 05:03:15 PM
Quote from: Hawk on May 10, 2010, 02:55:24 PM
Or you could be original.

Fuck yeah! Elabourate hoaxes where someone convinces her retard husband she got pregnant via weird implausible methodology is soooo 0bc  :lulz:

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark
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