News:

Look at the world emptily, and it will gladly return the favor.

Main Menu

A few thoughts on friendship, arrogance, and assumed superiority.

Started by Doktor Howl, May 11, 2010, 08:12:58 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Hawk on May 11, 2010, 11:11:11 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on May 11, 2010, 11:02:50 PM

 But fuck it, some people ARE superior, I will not treat someone as an equal, if they are obviously better than I am, or in a position of Authority that I have recognised, That would be overfamilier, and a bit insulting. But the other way counts too. I am a better person than many of the people I meet. Most in fact. (Told you I was a bit arrogant)
But to treat an inferior person as an equal, is often putting expectations on them, that are unrealistic. I wont treat someone disrespectfully because I feel I am better than them, but it does affect the way I interact with them.
I'm not entirely blind to my own faults, they are many, and varied. And my expectations of people are not unreasonable.
So when someone has expectations of me, that are unreasonable,  but are oblivious to flaws in their own character, or reasoning, I'll call them on it.

(And that's why no-one likes me)

And right here is where you lost me. Who are we to judge another person so?

I am better than Edward M Liddy.  I am also superior to your garden-variety hate-spewing teabagger.  So is BadBeast.  So are you.
Molon Lube

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Sigmatic on May 11, 2010, 11:11:49 PM
Totally agree with everything, and I hate to say this is something I've stumbled on before.  Working on that.  Whenever I catch myself doing it, I recall my Devo.  

I'm through being cool.

You had a rough patch, but you got through it.  People err. 
Molon Lube

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Jenne on May 11, 2010, 11:12:56 PM
I hate the "too cool for school" attitude.  Drives me batshit insane.  If I wanna be SILLY, and it EMBARRASSES you, then FUCK OFF.  Yes, I've had this problem before.  This is the stance I've learned to take, fortunately.  Just too late for some pain, unfortunately.

Life IS too fucking short to put up with people who are shitty.

This.
Molon Lube

Adios

Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 11, 2010, 11:13:27 PM
Quote from: Hawk on May 11, 2010, 11:11:11 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on May 11, 2010, 11:02:50 PM

 But fuck it, some people ARE superior, I will not treat someone as an equal, if they are obviously better than I am, or in a position of Authority that I have recognised, That would be overfamilier, and a bit insulting. But the other way counts too. I am a better person than many of the people I meet. Most in fact. (Told you I was a bit arrogant)
But to treat an inferior person as an equal, is often putting expectations on them, that are unrealistic. I wont treat someone disrespectfully because I feel I am better than them, but it does affect the way I interact with them.
I'm not entirely blind to my own faults, they are many, and varied. And my expectations of people are not unreasonable.
So when someone has expectations of me, that are unreasonable,  but are oblivious to flaws in their own character, or reasoning, I'll call them on it.

(And that's why no-one likes me)

And right here is where you lost me. Who are we to judge another person so?

I am better than Edward M Liddy.  I am also superior to your garden-variety hate-spewing teabagger.  So is BadBeast.  So are you.

Maybe it's just because I have to come to expect so little out of people.

BadBeast

Quote from: Hawk on May 11, 2010, 11:11:11 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on May 11, 2010, 11:02:50 PM

 But fuck it, some people ARE superior, I will not treat someone as an equal, if they are obviously better than I am, or in a position of Authority that I have recognised, That would be overfamilier, and a bit insulting. But the other way counts too. I am a better person than many of the people I meet. Most in fact. (Told you I was a bit arrogant)
But to treat an inferior person as an equal, is often putting expectations on them, that are unrealistic. I wont treat someone disrespectfully because I feel I am better than them, but it does affect the way I interact with them.
I'm not entirely blind to my own faults, they are many, and varied. And my expectations of people are not unreasonable.
So when someone has expectations of me, that are unreasonable,  but are oblivious to flaws in their own character, or reasoning, I'll call them on it.

(And that's why no-one likes me)

And right here is where you lost me. Who are we to judge another person so?

We ALL Judge other people on what we see, or how we percieve them, it's all we have to go on, and most of us seem to pride ourselves on how "good a judge of character" we are. (Which mostly means, "I've made my mind up, and I'm sticking to it" )
We are all Judgemental, and we are not all equal. That isn't the issue. The issue is how we treat other people, and how we act. To say that we are not all equal, is not to say that we are worth more than anyone else. Just that some of us have qualities that are not so apparent in others. And they often have qualities we may lack. The way we act, is what makes us better than someone else. For instance, I may judge someone as less worthy than myself. But I will not treat them any differently than I might treat anyone else. And the big difference is, I am prepared to be wrong in my assessment of them. And when this happens, (and it does)
What makes me (or anyone else, for that matter) better, is that I don't resent that person for my own mistake. And so many people do.
That is who I am, to Judge another person so.
"We need a plane for Bombing, Strafing, Assault and Battery, Interception, Ground Support, and Reconaissance,
NOT JUST A "FAIR WEATHER FIGHTER"!

"I kinda like him. It's like he sees inside my soul" ~ Nigel


Whoever puts their hand on me to govern me, is a usurper, and a tyrant, and I declare them my enemy!

"And when the clouds obscure the moon, and normal service is resumed. It wont. Mean. A. Thing"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpkCJDYxH-4

BadBeast

QuoteMaybe it's just because I have to come to expect so little out of people.



I don't believe that. I think if you really did expect so little out of people, you wouldn't feel so let down by them. I think that maybe (and I may be well off the mark here, so please forgive me if I'm wrong)  you expect too much from people, and when they fail to live up to expectations, then you perhaps write them off as of little worth.

The thing is, we are all people, and subject to the same flaws and defects as everyone else. We are allowed to be wrong. We are allowed to make mistakes. It's how we learn.
No-one is able to live up to our highest ideals and expectations. It's not their fault. But it also isn't ours.
That's why they are ideals, and not standards.
We cannot fail to let other people down, if they set the goalposts too high.
And an ideal, is not a fixed standard.
If we set our expectations too high,  then most will fail to reach the bar. Disappointing us. That's why I don't believe you expect too little from people.
"We need a plane for Bombing, Strafing, Assault and Battery, Interception, Ground Support, and Reconaissance,
NOT JUST A "FAIR WEATHER FIGHTER"!

"I kinda like him. It's like he sees inside my soul" ~ Nigel


Whoever puts their hand on me to govern me, is a usurper, and a tyrant, and I declare them my enemy!

"And when the clouds obscure the moon, and normal service is resumed. It wont. Mean. A. Thing"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpkCJDYxH-4

Faust

Quote from: Hoopla on May 11, 2010, 08:43:32 PM
I prize passion almost more than anything else, even misplaced passion.  I have a co-worker who is a conspiracy nut (I've mentioned this on here before), she is annoying, but she has so much passion for her insanity that I admire her still.  I would sooner talk to fifteen nutcases with passion than a single hipster with the "seen it all, done better" mindset.
I've seen this a lot with the gaming scene here, constantly trying to one up each other, act unimpressed all the time unless they are talking about themselves, putting each other down constantly. And then it dawned on me, where had I seen this before... and it was in school. The gaming scene consists of people who never got over being bullied in school and pretend to be what the cool kids were like back then.

I condescend, I know I do, especially when I'm at work I find it very hard to be patient with the staff if they fuck up. But I'm getting better at handling it, fortunately in Ireland at least, people won't let you get away with it, we have our own problem of anyone talking about a personal success being "too big for their boots".
Sleepless nights at the chateau

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Faust on May 12, 2010, 12:47:30 AM
Quote from: Hoopla on May 11, 2010, 08:43:32 PM
I prize passion almost more than anything else, even misplaced passion.  I have a co-worker who is a conspiracy nut (I've mentioned this on here before), she is annoying, but she has so much passion for her insanity that I admire her still.  I would sooner talk to fifteen nutcases with passion than a single hipster with the "seen it all, done better" mindset.
I've seen this a lot with the gaming scene here, constantly trying to one up each other, act unimpressed all the time unless they are talking about themselves, putting each other down constantly. And then it dawned on me, where had I seen this before... and it was in school. The gaming scene consists of people who never got over being bullied in school and pretend to be what the cool kids were like back then.

I condescend, I know I do, especially when I'm at work I find it very hard to be patient with the staff if they fuck up. But I'm getting better at handling it, fortunately in Ireland at least, people won't let you get away with it, we have our own problem of anyone talking about a personal success being "too big for their boots".

Condescension has its place.  Just not with your friends.
Molon Lube

Juana

Absolutely. There's a guy I know who is exactly like your game store jerk and I avoid talking to him most of the time. However, it's also an open secret he's actually pathetic with no self esteem and emotional issues (boy, is he a talkative, whiny drunk). Not worth the time I'm sometimes socially forced to give him.
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Hover Cat on May 12, 2010, 02:01:02 AM
Absolutely. There's a guy I know who is exactly like your game store jerk and I avoid talking to him most of the time. However, it's also an open secret he's actually pathetic with no self esteem and emotional issues (boy, is he a talkative, whiny drunk). Not worth the time I'm sometimes socially forced to give him.

Forced?  You have to be firm with these types.  Whack him on the nose with a dice bag.
Molon Lube

Juana

One of my closest friends is in love with him and I tolerate the Jerk for his sake. However, the Jerk and my friend are both aware of my dislike so it doesn't happen every often.
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Hover Cat on May 12, 2010, 02:52:37 AM
One of my closest friends is in love with him and I tolerate the Jerk for his sake. However, the Jerk and my friend are both aware of my dislike so it doesn't happen every often.

Ah.

You should still whack him with something.  Like I said, you have to be firm about these things, or they'll follow you home.
Molon Lube

Brotep

What many douchebags fail to realize is that douchebaggery is not an effective strategy for getting in the good graces of worthwhile people.

I recently got back into contact with an old "friend". I really did consider the guy a friend, when I was younger and dumber. I fell for his serious person with serious concerns routine, his involvement with Buddhism.

It turns out he interpreted my not making an effort to stay in touch as a falling out, which he believed was caused by him going on a date *GASP!* with a girl I liked. THREE YEARS AGO. He thought I was still angry (I was never angry to begin with). An awkward conversation ensued, in which he said he echoed my sentiments of "water under the bridge" and added that it was cool even if I might have said bad things about him to gain an edge. I told him, I'm not a saint or anything, but one thing I will never do is harm my friends' reputations for my own advantage. He said, "Oh, well I would."  He then proceeded to add that if I had sabotaged his relationship with her I had done him a favor, because that girl had turned out to be "a stuck-up bitch."

How dense can you be?  :horrormirth:

Juana

^IAWTC and wow.

Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 12, 2010, 02:54:42 AM
Quote from: Hover Cat on May 12, 2010, 02:52:37 AM
One of my closest friends is in love with him and I tolerate the Jerk for his sake. However, the Jerk and my friend are both aware of my dislike so it doesn't happen every often.

Ah.

You should still whack him with something.  Like I said, you have to be firm about these things, or they'll follow you home.
If I ever have the chance to beat him with a rolled-up Magic mat, I will.
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

Sir Squid Diddimus

I encounter so many "I'm better than you" types that it makes me sick.
Seems like every person I meet or am introduced to these days has that "Look at how fucking cool I am and you can never measure up" stance.
I sure as hell don't take it and I call it out immediately.

I often find myself apologizing to my friends for doing so and their response is usually "Naw dude it's cool. You just said what we were all thinking".

One of these days my mouth is gonna get me knocked the fuck out.  :lulz: and I'm kinda ok with it.