Life of Nobody

[BadBeast]

Welding is brilliant fun, and quite useful too. But just for welding bits of old metal, onto other bits of old metal, with no functionality in mind, you van come up with incredible pieces of "Installation Art". 
Or cut and shut the good front half of a car wreck,, to the good back half of another car wreck, to make a totally unique, and singular set of wheels. (Especially if the front is a Subaru, and the back is a Toyota) Must always remember to wear a good pair of polarising sunglasses though, in case you get anything going into your eyes.

Like triple supernova white dwarf levels of UV, that turn first, your Ocular system, and then, the next 18 hours of your whole existence into a distilled, and concentrated ordeal of exquisitely ramped up pain and agony.

The only thing I wanted to do was pluck my eyeballs out of my own head,  then fill up the sockets with as much cocaine as it took to make the pain go away.
The only thing that stopped me, was the certain knowledge that there was not enough cocaine in the whole world to achieve the kind of anaesthesia I needed.

And also I couldn't see my hand in front of my face, and all my other senses were filled up with the pain too. I could hear the pain, smell the pain, taste the pain, there was no room in my CNS for anything BUT pain.
Interesting experience, but one not to be repeated.
Useful, if only to know, that exponentially increasing pain can't kill you, it just hurts more. And more. And then just a little bit more.

I'm over it now, but ouch!

[Adios]

Welding is brilliant fun, and quite useful too. But just for welding bits of old metal, onto other bits of old metal, with no functionality in mind, you van come up with incredible pieces of "Installation Art". 
Or cut and shut the good front half of a car wreck,, to the good back half of another car wreck, to make a totally unique, and singular set of wheels. (Especially if the front is a Subaru, and the back is a Toyota) Must always remember to wear a good pair of polarising sunglasses though, in case you get anything going into your eyes.

Like triple supernova white dwarf levels of UV, that turn first, your Ocular system, and then, the next 18 hours of your whole existence into a distilled, and concentrated ordeal of exquisitely ramped up pain and agony.

The only thing I wanted to do was pluck my eyeballs out of my own head,  then fill up the sockets with as much cocaine as it took to make the pain go away.
The only thing that stopped me, was the certain knowledge that there was not enough cocaine in the whole world to achieve the kind of anaesthesia I needed.

And also I couldn't see my hand in front of my face, and all my other senses were filled up with the pain too. I could hear the pain, smell the pain, taste the pain, there was no room in my CNS for anything BUT pain.
Interesting experience, but one not to be repeated.
Useful, if only to know, that exponentially increasing pain can't kill you, it just hurts more. And more. And then just a little bit more.

I'm over it now, but ouch!

That's why I get someone else to do it for me.

[Adios]

One of the things I will always remember from my childhood is the Tinker. He was an old man with a horse and wagon. I never knew which of the 3 was older.

The women folk would set aside pans that were in need of repair for when the Tinker came through. He was always looked for and his coming was an event. I can't remember the month but he always showed in the same month.

The grownups said he covered the whole state and that's why he only showed up once a year. He would set up camp in an open field and work on mostly pots and pans but he would try to fix anything. Almost everybody would have something for him to work on and he would stay a week every visit.

People would sit and talk with him and get the news from where he had been and ask about family members. It was kind of like a holiday. The Tinker was friendly and would even take time to talk to us kids. He would tell all kinds of stories and we hung on every word.

When it came time for him to leave everybody was sure to be out on their porches to wave and smile.

One year he just didn't show up. We never knew what happened but I think that life just followed it's normal course. I have tried to find some record of him, but there is nothing I can find. Sad, another piece of Americana passed without footnote.

[Adios]

It was a nice Halloween night in Florida and I was taking my little brother around trick or treating. We were making a haul too!

There's always one house that is dark, and you just know the people are home. Well, I guess you younger people don't know a lot about trick or treating these days. Take my word for it though, there was always one.

It was getting near the end of the night and we had all the candy we wanted but I was determined to go knock on this door. The house sat pretty far back from the road and the driveway was lined with big oak trees.

So I held Damians' hand and off we go down the driveway. I admit it was dark and spooky but once my mind was set on a thing that was that.

We got about halfway down the drive and something in a branch above me rustled. We couldn't see anything at all so we started walking again. What happened next took 10 years off of my life, I swear.

The branch above me rustled again. Something landed on my shoulders and had handfuls of my hair. I screamed and reached up to grab it. All I felt was fur. Now panic was really setting in. Whatever it was on my head was screaming. I was screaming. Damian was screaming.

The world had slowed down and it was like it was standing still. I still had my hands on the fur so with all my strength I just threw it. As it landed I took off for the road yelling for Damian to hurry up. I got to the road and no little brother. I started to go back in after him when he came running up the road.

We were standing there shaking and trying to catch out breath, terrified. As we started to realize we were both alright we began to calm down. Damian asked me what that thing was.

As it had landed screaming my mind had registered what it was but was unable to tell my brain.

I was HAD. I knew it and it got funny. The owners of that house had a pet monkey. As I told Damian what it was he got to laughing.

We decided that we really didn't need to go to that house after all and just went home. To this day I can't stand monkeys.

[Adios]

I worked for Johns Manville for 25 years. They sold the building to Martin Marietta and sold me with it. It was a good move for me because I was promoted to Department Head of Tenant services.

One day I got a call that an office needed to be cleaned out so someone could move in. I sent my crew up and repeated my instructions, everything except the furniture goes into the trash.

A couple of hours later a very pissed off rocket scientist was trying to scream at me on the loading dock. Finally he reached my maximum bullshit point and I told him to shut up. Now that he was calmed down I asked him what the problem was.

It seems there was some top secret documents in that office. Whoops. Then he made a very bad mistake and threatened to have me fired if I didn't produce the documents. I promptly called the head of government security. While we were waiting for him this clown went off again. By now my bullshit tolerance was saturated and I put my finger on his chest.

He had made several mistakes. He had pirated an office. He had secret documents in a non secure area. He had removed those documents from the main facility illegally. He had pissed me off.

I pointed all of these things out to him in a friendly, quiet and calm manner. (cough) Then I told him if they quit using 25 year old technology then just maybe the shuttle wouldn't have exploded. For most of this government security had stood by listening.

Then (we'll call him Chuck) Chuck asked me where the documents were. I pointed to the big trash container with attached compactor. This container was the only one in the building so all trash, including kitchen trash was put there.

Chuck was not happy. Then this stupid rocket scientist told me that my crew would have to dig through it and find the documents. Boy, this guy had all the wrong moves. I told him if he hadn't been so arrogant we would have helped but as it was I would have one of my guys pull the container out so he could wade in there and find them himself.

Well they eventually found them. The guy lost his security clearance, was reassigned and lost a six figure income. I on the other hand got an increased clearance and was trained on what to look for when we were purging offices.

[Adios]

One day Bill H. and I were changing strainers in the chilled water lines. We had 28 mechanical rooms and every one had a strainer in it. These were 6 inch lined under 90 pounds of head pressure and 45 degree water. This was our cooling system for the building.

Bill would close the valves and hand me the tools and a clean strainer. I would open the strainer cylinder, cracking the bolts and letting the pressure die and then open it up and replace the strainer.

We were on our last one of the day. I had removed the old strainer and held my hand out for Bill to give me the clean one. About that time I was hit in the chest by a full stream of 40 degree water under 90 pounds of pressure. I was on a 14 foot ladder and the ladder went flying.

I managed to grab the pipe and was getting slapped around by the water pressure. I was yelling at Bill to close the damn valve. He was looking at me real innocent and asking me if there was a problem. My arms were getting tired and it was a long way down and there was a ladder laying on the floor under me.

Bill was laughing and having a real good time and I was worried about losing my grip. Finally he closed the valve and stood my ladder back up. After that Bill was the one changing the strainers and I was the one on the valve.

For some reason he watched me closely.

[Adios]

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[Adios]

Since my recent conversation with mal in IRC I will state this project is Copyright. I will be removing it from this board shortly. To all who have enjoyed it and commented I thank you but I will not have it stolen.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Oh shit... did somebody threaten to steal it? That's utter bullshit! It's your fucking creativity! I hate assholes like that; fuck whoever it was for ruining it for everyone else. It was really generous of you to share it with us, and I've enjoyed reading it. Thank you.

[Adios]

Oh shit... did somebody threaten to steal it? That's utter bullshit! It's your fucking creativity! I hate assholes like that; fuck whoever it was for ruining it for everyone else. It was really generous of you to share it with us, and I've enjoyed reading it. Thank you.

Thanks Nigel, it is all removed now. I hate people who think pirating is just fine and dandy.

[Doktor Howl]

Oh shit... did somebody threaten to steal it? That's utter bullshit! It's your fucking creativity! I hate assholes like that; fuck whoever it was for ruining it for everyone else. It was really generous of you to share it with us, and I've enjoyed reading it. Thank you.

Thanks Nigel, it is all removed now. I hate people who think pirating is just fine and dandy.

What the hell?  Who said they were going to swipe it?

[Adios]

Oh shit... did somebody threaten to steal it? That's utter bullshit! It's your fucking creativity! I hate assholes like that; fuck whoever it was for ruining it for everyone else. It was really generous of you to share it with us, and I've enjoyed reading it. Thank you.

Thanks Nigel, it is all removed now. I hate people who think pirating is just fine and dandy.

What the hell?  Who said they were going to swipe it?

After a discussion with malvarma in IRC I decided it was just best to remove it. I hate thieves and pirates.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

It's important to be able to control your creative work, I agree. Considering the conditional terms that some people will temporarily suspend their open season on intellectual property, I would do the same thing.

However, suppose someone has identical twins, which baby would be the pirated copy?

Blackbeard, please put on your pajamas.

[Adios]

It's important to be able to control your creative work, I agree. Considering the conditional terms that some people will temporarily suspend their open season on intellectual property, I would do the same thing.

However, suppose someone has identical twins, which baby would be the pirated copy?

Blackbeard, please put on your pajamas.

The second one out, silly.

[Doktor Howl]

However, suppose someone has identical twins, which baby would be the pirated copy?

This is the stupidest argument on the subject brought up yet.  No, really.  This is dumber than Regret's chicken farmer anology.

Just saying.