Life of Nobody

[Doktor Howl]

hell.. if more old men sounded like Sean Connery i might like creepy old men. LOL

Dammit, I am a man, not a machine!

(shameless star trek rip off)

I'm a machine.

A love machine <--- Cheesy Mexican accent

[BadBeast]

Did someone say "Shameless Star Trek rip off ?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3OQP0JN_JI&feature=related

[Adios]

hell.. if more old men sounded like Sean Connery i might like creepy old men. LOL

Dammit, I am a man, not a machine!

(shameless star trek rip off)

I'm a machine.

A love machine <--- Cheesy Mexican accent

Horn Dog.

You missed me ripping ENKI a new one in IRC tonight. 

[BadBeast]

Was it bigger and wider than the old one?

[Adios]

Was it bigger and wider than the old one?

At least twice as big.

[BadBeast]

Did he thank you when it was done?

[Adios]

Did he thank you when it was done?

Oh, hell no.

[BadBeast]

He might not thank you, but he'll come running back for more!

[Triple Zero]

hell.. if more old men sounded like Sean Connery i might like creepy old men. LOL

Dammit, I am a man, not a machine!

(shameless star trek rip off)

DID SOMEONE SAY MAN MACHINE

(live minimum maximum version has the best v0c0d0r)

[BadBeast]

hell.. if more old men sounded like Sean Connery i might like creepy old men. LOL

Dammit, I am a man, not a machine!

(shameless star trek rip off)

DID SOMEONE SAY MAN MACHINE

(live minimum maximum version has the best v0c0d0r)

Did we fight and win TWO World Wars, just so the bloody Germans could come up with
Kraftwerk? They weren't even TRYING to be clever, and they did THIS. 1978 for Christs sake! 3 Bleeps, a MiniMoog, and a gram of Ketamine, and they GAVE BIRTH to Electronik Music! Just like that!
"Hey, Ralf, pass me dat, what yousay? MEENIMOOG?"
"Ookay  Flori, eet all lookz veery complik8ed, Nice Treads, by ze vay, D00d"
"Tank you, Ralfi, Rack up sum moar off zat K, letz freek some Heepeez out"

And by the middle of the afternoon, it was done. Everything from Eat Static, to Hawkwind, Acid House Partys to Superclubs, Alien Sex Fiend, to Steven bloody Hawking!
In 1978, we were still fapping off to Prog Rock, or watching McClaren sticking safety pins into pale skinny junkies and thinking THAT was cool! Bloody Germany, and their Wunderkinds!   

"Ya tvoi slooga"  "Ya tvoi rabotnik"

[Triple Zero]

...

did you just step on both Kraftwerk and Eat Static?

tell me you didn't step.

[BadBeast]

Only a litle bit, . . . . . . .Does this make up for it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xraBpciNVkQ

[Adios]

After leaving the army, I went back to Florida. Shortly after that a buddy and I decided to thumb our way around the country. In those days people actually picked up hitch hikers.

We were somewhere in South Carolina and it had started raining. We were huddled under an overhang at a closed gas station. A policeman stopped and asked what we were doing and we explained. He offered to let us sleep in the jail overnight, and we took him up on it.

But not without some reservations, as our backpacks had some things in them we really didn't want to share with the police. So we got in the car and off we went. They took our backpacks and put them in storage and led us to a nice dry cell. We got a good nights sleep and went on our way the next morning complete with backpacks.

Today this would be a very different story as things have changed so much, and for the worse.

A couple of days later we met a guy our age and he let us sleep in an old playhouse in the back yard. His dad came out and met us and we all talked for a while. Nice family.

We made it to Madison, Wisconsin where it became more and more difficult to get a ride going north. This was because so many young men were going to Canada to avoid the draft.

We met a hippie chick and she took us to her house where we waited for her husband to come home. Then we all hitched to a friend of theirs house. It turns out he was a 'chemist', which in those days meant he manufactured drugs.

He had just made a new batch of acid and asked if we would mind trying it. Of course we didn't mind. My buddy  and I were tripping our asses off and all of us, about 20, were sitting on this big front porch listening to music.

The cops came and told us we had to turn the music down. Now, everybody there was stoned, and there were drugs just laying around. My buddy and I were freaking out, but everybody else was very calm. The cops were friendly, and once the music was turned down they just left.

The rest of the acid trip for both us went badly after that because we had gotten so freaked out. We left Madison the next day headed back south.

[Adios]

We made it back to Sanford, Florida without any further incident. These two girls picked us up and we went home with them. That first night was a lot of fun and the next night we switched partners.

The one I was with the second night wasn't exactly a girl, she was 10 years older than me, but what the hell, right? She had three kids, all in Kentucky visiting their father.

A couple of days later my buddy moved on, but I stayed. I got a job and was starting to settle down a little. I switched jobs a few times, and then one of the neighbors offered me a job surveying. I took it, and stayed with this one. I mean, it was the swamp job, after all!

So Raelene and I stayed together, and we went to Kentucky to get her kids, The oldest wanted to stay there but we brought the other two back home. Kim was 5 and Rick was 7. After the normal adjustment period we all got along pretty good.

About a year later we were on our way to visit Granny, in Georgia. There was a town on the way that had a little booth on the front lawn of the court house to get marriage blood tests. For some reason Raelene and I looked at each other and we stopped. The blood tests took about 15 minutes, then we walked over to the court house and got the marriage license. Then we went into a judges office and he looked at me, then the two kids, then Raelene and then he performed the ceremony.

The town was Folkston, and this was their main attraction, I guess.

Everybody told me I was crazy and that it wouldn't last. They were right, because 25 years later I got tired of the way I was being treated and left her. I left her in good shape, a house worth over $300,000 that was almost paid off, a flourishing bar and grill that was making money right and left, and a new SUV.

Basically I walked out on almost $600,000. All I wanted from her was for her to sign the divorce papers.

At the divorce the judge told her he thought I should be required to pay her alimony. My mouth fell open, all I had taken from 25 years was most of my personal possessions. Raelene saw the look on my face and quickly decided that it wasn't a good idea.

Now I had my girlfriend with me, and  she wasn't my girlfriend until after I had left Raelene and accepted the finality of it. The judge then turned to me and started chewing me out about bringing "This...woman, for whatever she is to these proceedings...."

I was pissed. I stood up and said I had something to say. He slammed the recorder off and jumped up yelling about these proceedings were over. Wrong move. I walked toward him and yelled "Kevin!"

He froze, turned and sat back down. Then I walked to the bench where my ex was. I pointed to her boyfriend, our daughter, two employees of hers, and looked at Kevin, the judge, and said "what the hell is the difference here?"

I was fun to watch the reality spread over his face. Terri and I then left.

[Adios]

Terri had worked for me for a time when I owned the bar and grill. And her husband, and her son. We had become best friends, and then Raelene threw one of her infamous fits and fired her, after we argued about it. As usual I lost the argument.

They would still come in the bar after that so we stayed friends. One night Raelene has taken a drunk home. When she came back it was after hours and Terri had brought her dog in. Now my bar was 20 feet long, I was at one end kneeling down petting the dog. Terri was standing at the other end of the bar talking to someone.

Raelene was screaming about catching me looking at Terris' tits. Everybody still there was utterly confused. All I could do was ask what the hell she was talking about. Then Raelene started throwing glass ashtrays at me and hitting me.

This cleared the bar out rather quickly, but then again they had all seen this kind of thing before. I was sitting in my truck, still confused and wondering where the hell I was going to go. Terri and her husband came back and offered me a place to stay. I took it.

I got a job painting and was staying with them. No one knew where I was, because it was much safer that way. We all went down to Texas to visit Terris' family, and stayed about a week.

When we got back to town we went to a bar, not my former bar, and the very first thing I was told, by the bar owner, that the rumor was her and I were a thing and she was pregnant. I had had nothing to do with a woman, because I wasn't sure it was really over between Raelene and I.

Then I heard there was a national missing persons report out on me. This really pissed me off so I went to the county sheriff office and (poor officer) threw my ID at her and screamed at her is that me? Once I calmed down she said it was indeed me, and they would remove the missing person report.

Then she said the police from the next town over wanted to see me. I told her if they wanted to see me then they damn well knew where I was. So she called then and a female officer drove right over, it was only 12 miles. They took all of my personal items and took me in the back for an interview.

It took me about 3 minutes to realize I was going to be accused of abuse. Now I was pissed again. I stood up and loudly began telling my story of the abuse I had received for over 20 years, that I had never raised a hand to Raelene and that I was sick and tired of this shit and that I was leaving.

The officer, looked at me, handed me my stuff back, and with a very different attitude told me that I needed to contact her if any of it ever happened again. I told her there wouldn't be another time, as I was now done.

She wanted to know where I was staying and I refused to tell her. She asked how she could get in contact with me if she needed to. I told her to leave a message with the bar in Kiowa. She accepted that and I was on my way.