Life of Nobody

[Juana]

Hmm, Chris seemed kind of like an annoyance more than amusing, but the end there made me like him. Poor little fellow, though. I'm surprised he ended up being like that. I would have expected him to be wrathful.

[Adios]

Well, his demise was word of mouth rumor history. We tracked down an ancient and listened to her talk.

[Juana]

Still, if it's true. Poor guy.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Charley, that was awesome- looking forward to the possibility of more weird shit 

[Adios]

Charley, that was awesome- looking forward to the possibility of more weird shit 

Thanks, and yes, more to come.

[Adios]

Terri and I were living in a Victorian in Elizabeth, built around the turn of the century. It was a beautiful house and it's best feature was the sun room where the back porch used to be. We would sit in the morning and have our coffee there.

It was a typical 2 story from the era and had an unusually large living room for a Victorian. Terri and I were sitting in the living room watching television. Our two cats an our dog, as always were sitting there with us.

Suddenly a woman was walking across the living room and Terri, me and all of the animals watched her. She went into the bathroom. It was a small bathroom, one way in, one way out. I jumped up and ran in the bathroom to find out what was going on. No one was in there. Just me.

I went back to the living room and Terri asked me who it was. I told her nobody was there. We lust looked at each other and went back to watching television. After all, this wasn't our first rodeo.

The next day Terri went to do the laundry. Our dog followed her everywhere she went. Except to that basement. The dog sat at the top of the stairs just growling with her hair standing on end. There was no one down there, we checked.

A few days later I was taking a shower and a gentle caressing hand gently rubbed my back. Being a reasonable human being and startled I screamed and spun around. You guessed it. No one was there.

One afternoon Terri and I were doing what married people will do. Our bedroom was upstairs. At a critical moment something very cold touched my anus. Terris' head almost went through the wall. I tried to apologize but was assured there was no need. Unknown to me during our activities our puppy had jumped up on the bed and got curious. If there had been no logical explanation for this happening we would have moved the next day.

We saw the woman several more times but we were never touched again, and she didn't eat much so we decided to just let her stay.

[Adios]

Terri is going to kill me. 

[BadBeast]

I presume very cold thing was the puppy's nose?

[Adios]

I presume very cold thing was the puppy's nose?

Oh, yeah.

[Adios]

Bad, scary, cold, wet unexpected puppy nose.

[Adios]

Terri didn't kill me! 

[BadBeast]

Being immortal is so time consuming. means staying alive despite getting killed from time to time.

[Adios]

Being immortal is so time consuming. means staying alive despite getting killed from time to time.

[Adios]

I was living in Littleton, Colorado. Life was going pretty good. Raelene and I were DINKS (double income no kids) and we were making some good money.

We had all the toys, big trucks, fast boats, nice cars, well you get the idea.Life was just pretty good from the outside.

I was kind of a hothead in those with a very low tolerance for most any kind of nonsense. I knew it all. Ask me, I would have told you.

Have you ever heard a story that began with, "there I was, minding my own business...". Well most of the time these stories end badly for the teller.

So, there I was minding my own business. It was time for bed and in those I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. I always slept like a rock, nothing could wake me.

But this night..sorry, I need a drink of water.

Where was I? Right, asleep. Something woke me. As I was coming awake I saw two, well what looked like oversized hands come up through the mattress. As I watched they folded over my chest and started pulling me down. Now I was fully awake. I was screaming, kicking, biting, just fighting any way I knew.

But I couldn't get free, and I was going deeper. Raelene was right next to me in bed and she wouldn't wake up. I was still going deeper. The hands on my chest were hurting me, but I had to keep fighting. I was getting exhausted.

As a last resort I screamed as loud as I could and used the last ounce of energy I had left. I was back on the mattress. Nothing was dragging me down. My side of the bed was a wreck, torn sheets, soaked in sweat and smelling of fear. It was over as quickly as it had started.

I gave myself a few minutes to smoke a cigarette and then woke Raelene up. When she saw my side of the bed she started yelling and I told her to shut the hell up and listen for once. As I was telling the story we were making the bed with fresh sheets.

As we were talking it over we decided it was a horrible dream. I also decided to sleep on the couch. She quit helping and was staring at my chest. I went to the bathroom and looked for myself. Across my chest were bruises, that matched two oversized hands.

I made a pot of coffee, no way was I going back to sleep now.

I don't know what happened that night, and I don't care to. It took two weeks for those bruises to fade. It took me a week before I would sleep in that bed again.

[Jasper]

Man alive.