The Thing That Dok Built

[Freeky]

This is the IRC documentation of Dok Howl eating some cactus, and deciding I needed to have built a boyfriend. Some of the beginning is missing, but you get the gist.


[22:24] *** NARF (droid@hide-7B525774.tmodns.net) has joined #discord
[22:25] * MistressFreeky is freaking out
[22:25] <Cainad> oh wow
[22:25] <NARF> peer?
[22:25] <MistressFreeky> How does he keep getting cactus?!
[22:25] <Kai1> freeky is freaking?
[22:25] <MistressFreeky> Who the fuck gives it to him!?
[22:26] <Kai1> wait, he's on CACTUS?
[22:26] <Kai1> FUCK
[22:26] <MistressFreeky> I am going to KILL A MOTHERFUCKER
[22:26] <Kai1> enjoy the ride while it lasts lol
[22:26] *** fnord124 (Mibbit@hide-FAC2F292.static.tpgi.com.au) has joined #discord
[22:26] <NARF> goody keyboard
[22:26] <MistressFreeky> I'm fucking doomed.
[22:26] <MistressFreeky> He's still laughing.
[22:27] <MistressFreeky>  /me is nearing hysterics
[22:27] * MistressFreeky is nearing hysterics
[22:27] <Kai1> hey
[22:27] <Kai1> it will turn out alright
[22:27] <Kai1> just enjoy the ride!
[22:28] <MistressFreeky> No,, Kai. Is not ride. Is horrorfilm.
[22:28] <MistressFreeky> Wait, he's coming down the stairs.
[22:29] <MistressFreeky> Hang on...
[22:29] *** Kai (Kai@hide-A95D9B33.gsp.bellsouth.net) has joined #discord
[22:29] <Cainad> But the nice girl always survives the horrorfilm!
[22:29] *** Kai1 has quit IRC (Quit: Leaving.)
[22:29] <Kai> goddamn internets
[22:29] <Kai> IS RIDE
[22:29] <Kai> ENJOY
[22:29] <NARF> keep him away from convenience store clerks
[22:29] <MistressFreeky> He's gone back into the garage again.
[22:30] <Kai> IN CACTUS EATING ROGER LAND, HORRORFILM RIDES YUO
[22:30] <MistressFreeky> Thank goodness I had the presence of mind to hide his jeep keys.
[22:30] <Kai> hey, what's the worst thing that could happen?
[22:30] <Kai> run over another joshua tree?
[22:30] <MistressFreeky> PUPPY CANNONS.
[22:30] <Kai> that sounds fucking cool
[22:30] <MistressFreeky> HORRIBLE WHIRRING THINGS.
[22:30] <Kai> wish I could visit
[22:30] <MistressFreeky> Not when they're rifled with razor blades, Kai!
[22:31] <Kai> it's for science, freeky
[22:31] <Kai> you don't question science
[22:31] <Kai> you just do it
[22:31] <MistressFreeky> He's shouting for something, hang on.
[22:31] <MistressFreeky> Does anyone know where I can find a buyer for a slightly used, somewhat bloody diamond-edged tile saw?
[22:32] <Cainad> It has it's own needs, it's own morality. Science is a higher calling, and woe unto he who turns away from it!
[22:32] <MistressFreeky> ._.
[22:32] <Idem> why don't you partake
[22:32] <Kai> yeah
[22:32] <Kai> why aren't you doing science, Freeky?
[22:32] <MistressFreeky> He ate it all.
[22:33] <MistressFreeky> He ran back upstairs just now, screaming "WHERE IS MY OSCILLOSCOPE?!"
[22:34] *** narot (~narot@hide-D47B1CDE.socal.res.rr.com) has joined #discord
[22:34] <MistressFreeky> I AM NOT A SCIENCY PERSON
[22:34] <MistressFreeky> I LIKE TO SLEEP IN BEDS THAT ARE SOFTISH.
[22:34] <narot> evening folks
[22:34] <MistressFreeky> NOT FILLED WITH UNKNOWN BLOODY STUFF.
[22:34] <Idem> get a media player and set it to the oscilloscope visualization
[22:34] <narot> drinking a night train express woo
[22:35] <MistressFreeky> I'm actually kind of worried about attracting his attention at this point.
[22:35] <Idem> lol
[22:35] <MistressFreeky> I'm just going to let him get on with his science, and sleep down here on the couch.
[22:36] <MistressFreeky> OSHIT
[22:36] <MistressFreeky> WTF
[22:36] <narot> ??
[22:36] <MistressFreeky> SOMETHING IS GOING BANG BANG BANG
[22:36] <MistressFreeky> Dok is /laughing/ again.
[22:37] <MistressFreeky> *gibber*
[22:38] <MistressFreeky> His dog just ran down the stairs with it's tail between it's legs.
[22:38] <MistressFreeky> Well, hobbled.
[22:38] <MistressFreeky> It can't run real well.
[22:39] <Idem> "Look, we're basically on earth to shit and fuck. So unless your job's to help people shit or fuck, it's not that important, so relax."
[22:39] <narot>
[22:40] <MistressFreeky> He's calling for Nurse to help him.
[22:40] <MistressFreeky> Nivek isn't here,, wtf?
[22:40] <Idem> nivek is never here
[22:40] <MistressFreeky> D'you think he means me?
[22:40] <Idem> oh wait you mean there
[22:40] <Idem> right
[22:40] <Idem> no
[22:40] <Idem> i mean i dunno
[22:40] <MistressFreeky> O shit, he does.
[22:41] <MistressFreeky> Back in a few.
[22:43] <MistressFreeky> He just needed me to wrap up his hand
[22:43] <MistressFreeky> He cut it on someting.
[22:43] <MistressFreeky> Wouldn't let me look in the room, either.
[22:43] <Cainad> oh dear
[22:43] <MistressFreeky> When I asked what he was doing, he just giggled.
[22:44] *** Kai has quit IRC (Quit: Leaving.)
[22:44] <MistressFreeky> I asked if he remembered I was supposed to sleep in that room, he guffawed.
[22:44] <MistressFreeky> Couch it is tonight!
[22:44] *** Kai (Kai@hide-A95D9B33.gsp.bellsouth.net) has joined #discord
[22:45] <MistressFreeky> Jesus.
[22:45] <Cainad> lol
[22:45] <MistressFreeky> There's that BANG BANG BANGing angain.
[22:45] <MistressFreeky> again*
[22:45] <MistressFreeky> Sorry, my hands are shaking pretty bad...
[22:46] *** Cainad has quit IRC (Quit: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)
[22:46] *** koasdx (koasdx@851E6109.8A23D5BA.7AA52BA.IP) has joined #discord
[22:46] *** Cainad (Mibbit@hide-D186640C.dyn.optonline.net) has joined #discord
[22:46] <Idem> cainad
[22:46] <Cainad> idem
[22:47] <MistressFreeky> And there's that creaking and groaning.
[22:47] <MistressFreeky> He's gone back in the kitchen, but that banging is still going.
[22:47] <MistressFreeky> WTF?
[22:48] <MistressFreeky> Oh, he needed a sammich. Apparently, whatever is up there can handle itself for a few minutes.
[22:48] <MistressFreeky> According to Dok.
[22:49] <NARF> o my
[22:50] <Idem> tell him you're waiting a few stories up
[22:51] <MistressFreeky> Picture, if you will, the Dok wearing his vintage doctor's outfit, the glacier goggles, he's bleeding into the sandwich he's eating, and carrying a dremel.
[22:52] *** Kai has quit IRC (Quit: Leaving.)
[22:52] *** Kai (Kai@hide-A95D9B33.gsp.bellsouth.net) has joined #discord
[22:53] <MistressFreeky> I'm waiting a few stories up?
[22:53] <Dok> thiis is a good sammich
[22:53] <Idem> yo
[22:54] <Dok> hey
[22:54] <Dok> Nurse Freeky's been complaining about not getting laid, so I did something about it.  
[22:54] <Kai> hi dok
[22:54] <Dok> I mean, not me personally
[22:54] <MistressFreeky> O_O
[22:54] <Dok> hey kai
[22:54] <Kai> what did you do?
[22:55] <Dok> I HAVE BUILT HER A MACHINE
[22:55] <MistressFreeky> OH GAWD
[22:55] <Dok> It has a 1 hp motor.
[22:55] <Kai> I know you've been doing science, on cactus
[22:55] <Dok> fucking thing works, Kai
[22:55] <Dok> needs a little polishing up
[22:55] <Kai> what is it?
[22:55] <Kai> a sex machine?
[22:55] <Dok> right now it looks like a catapult with a dick
[22:55] <Kai> one of those mechanical fucker gadgets?
[22:55] <Dok> anda resouvoir
[22:55] <Idem> dok, so it's a hardon collider?
[22:56] <Dok> for teh mayo
[22:56] <Dok> HAH
[22:56] <Dok> Nurse better appreciate ths shit.  I think I need stitches
[22:56] <Cainad> THAT'S what the mayonnaise was for?
[22:56] <Idem> lolomg
[22:56] <Dok> bleeding all over my keyboard
[22:56] <Idem> ack
[22:56] <Dok> it's kind of cold though
[22:56] <Dok> need some way to warm it up
[22:56] <Idem> what's it look like
[22:57] <Idem> Oh jesus no dok noooo
[22:57] <Dok> wut
[22:57] <Dok> Nursey doesn't look very grateful
[22:57] <Kai> use a heating blanket
[22:57] <Dok> YES
[22:57] <MistressFreeky> Kai, you're not helping.
[22:57] <Dok> I neeed something
[22:58] <MistressFreeky> You need to stop taking cactus.
[22:58] <Idem> a cold wound is a good wound
[22:58] <Dok> No
[22:58] <Dok> I need bourbon
[22:58] <Dok> It replenishes science
[22:58] <Kai> Yes, I am helping
[22:58] <Kai> and no, you don't dok
[22:58] <Kai> cactus is fine.
[22:58] <Dok> why not
[22:58] <Dok> cactus isn't flammable
[22:58] <Kai> jack daniels is not
[22:58] <MistressFreeky> Who the fuck gives that shit to you?
[22:58] <Idem> *spew*
[22:59] <Dok> what shit
[22:59] <MistressFreeky> CACTUS
[22:59] <Dok> the preacher at my church
[22:59] <Idem> wal-mart
[22:59] <MistressFreeky> YOU DONT GO TO CHURCH
[22:59] <Dok> so
[22:59] <MistressFreeky> SO WHOH THE FUCK GIVES IT TO YOU I WILL KILL A MOTHERFUCKER
[22:59] <Dok> (we're yelling this shit at each oterh while we type)
[23:00] <Dok> You need to try out your new BF
[23:00] <MistressFreeky> NO MAYONNAISE
[23:00] <MistressFreeky> NONONONO
[23:00] <Dok> I got the spring all coiled up and everything
[23:00] <Idem> dood smear that shit on the keyboard
[23:00] <MistressFreeky> lkkAUUUGH!
[23:00] <Idem> it'll get up the blood
[23:00] <NARF> picture?
[23:00] <Dok> how do you KNOW you won't like it if you never even try it/
[23:00] <Cainad> I am literally crying with laughter
[23:01] <Dok> so is freeky.  I think
[23:01] <MistressFreeky> FUCK
[23:01] <MistressFreeky> FUCK OFF
[23:01] <Idem> we don't need eyes where we're going
[23:01] <Dok> brb bourbon & smoke reward for Dok
[23:02] <Burns> aww fuck whaddai miss
[23:02] <MistressFreeky> Dok on Cactus, and science
[23:02] <Kai> Oh god
[23:02] <Kai> I am laughing so hard
[23:02] <Idem> yeah so am i
[23:02] <Idem> oh jesus
[23:03] <Kai> Freeky, JUST ENJOY THE RIDE
[23:03] <Kai> I mean that both figuratively and literally
[23:03] <MistressFreeky> IS NOT RIDE KAI
[23:03] <MistressFreeky> IS NOT RIDE
[23:03] <Kai> IS RIDE
[23:03] <Kai> ENJOY
[23:03] <Idem> you better enjoy that hardon collider
[23:03] <NARF> love machine
[23:03] <Cainad> that thing sounds like it would throw her across the room
[23:03] <Idem> LOL
[23:03] <MistressFreeky> IS NOT GOOD RIDE
[23:03] <Kai> I believe it's spelled "hard-on", idem
[23:04] <Idem> *cough* *hack*
[23:04] <Cainad> the LARGE Hardon Collider
[23:04] <Dok> Kai, wrote you letter earlier

[Freeky]

[23:04] <Dok> WTF
[23:04] <Idem> kai then it would be too removed from hadron
[23:04] <Kai> the large HARD-ON collider
[23:04] <Idem> which is the point
[23:04] <MistressFreeky> WAHT WAS THAT
[23:04] <Idem> hardon
[23:04] <MistressFreeky> GLASS BREKIGNA
[23:04] <Kai> am I going to receive it in the mail, dok?
[23:04] <Dok> oh shit
[23:04] <Burns> so who is getting gloriously rained upon this evening?
[23:04] <Kai> brb
[23:04] <Dok> holy fuck
[23:04] <MistressFreeky> WHATS OUTSIDE
[23:05] <Dok> yes, kai
[23:05] <Dok> The dick
[23:05] <Idem> what happened with the fucking glass
[23:05] <Kai> lol
[23:05] <MistressFreeky> IS NOT RIDE
[23:05] <Idem> DID IT FLY ACROSS THE ROOM
[23:05] <Dok> spring broke lol
[23:05] <Kai> LOL
[23:05] <Dok> out window
[23:05] <Idem> OH GOD
[23:05] <Idem> HYAHAHAHA
[23:05] <Dok> i can fix it
[23:05] <MistressFreeky> NO FIX
[23:05] <NARF> Is ride
[23:05] <Dok> brb
[23:05] <Kai> LMAO
[23:05] *** EvilSpork has quit IRC (Quit: This computer has gone to sleep)
[23:05] <MistressFreeky> IS ANIMAL SOUND?!
[23:05] <MistressFreeky> WHAT?
[23:06] <Dok> FUCK
[23:06] <MistressFreeky> WHAT!
[23:06] <Dok> Fucking neighbor's dog ran off with the dildo
[23:06] <MistressFreeky> Oh thanks god.
[23:06] <Idem> can't breathe
[23:06] <Burns> wow
[23:06] <Dok> Boy, is Henry going to be surprised
[23:06] <Burns> lmfao
[23:07] <Cainad> i can barely fucking see through my tears
[23:07] <Dok> teach the bastard to train his dog to get the paper
[23:07] <Dok> smartass
[23:07] <Dok> No worries.
[23:07] <MistressFreeky> While YOUR dog is hiding under your bed.
[23:07] <Dok> I WILL BUILD A BETTER DILDO
[23:07] <MistressFreeky> NO BETTER
[23:07] <Idem> oh fuck he thought it was paper
[23:07] <MistressFreeky> NO BUILD
[23:07] <Idem> *faints*
[23:07] <MistressFreeky> NO ORE
[23:07] <Dok> I have a couple of pounds of spackle in the garage
[23:08] <Idem> FINAL DESTINATION
[23:08] <MistressFreeky> MRE NOT
[23:08] <MistressFreeky> NO MORE
[23:08] <Cainad> DOG'S GONNA BRING THE DILDO BACK HOME
[23:08] <Kai> I am going to die
[23:08] <Dok> Like I said, Henry is gonna be surprised at the saturday paper
[23:08] <Burns> cainad some master/pet relationships should be left alone.
[23:09] <Dok> Nurse Freeky is inchorent
[23:09] <Dok> can't tell screaming or laughing
[23:09] <MistressFreeky> GAUUUUHG
[23:09] <Kai> She doesn't know how to have a good time
[23:09] <Dok> SHE WILL LEARN
[23:09] <Dok> She's always bitching about not getting laid, and THIS is the thanks I get
[23:10] <Idem> http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l2y8yfHdMY1qanb21o1_500.jpg
[23:10] <Kai> I don't think she meant a washing machine.
[23:10] <MistressFreeky> I LEIK POPEL
[23:10] <Burns> ;the best part on saturday morning will be the 'tug-o-war'
[23:10] <Dok> lol
[23:10] <Burns> GIMME THAT!
[23:10] <Kai> This has made my day all better
[23:10] <Dok> Not me
[23:10] <Cainad> nothing can ruin my weekend now
[23:10] <Dok> Now I have to mold a dildo out of spackle
[23:11] <NARF> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSfe-4l3TBk
[23:11] <Idem> you can do it
[23:11] <MistressFreeky> How long does it take for spackle to dry?
[23:11] <Idem> just uhh don't get blood mixed with it
[23:11] <Dok> Does it matter?
[23:11] <MistressFreeky> UGHUGHNO BDO
[23:11] <MistressFreeky> BLODO
[23:11] <Dok> yeah, my hand is bleeding like a bitch
[23:11] <MistressFreeky> BLOOD
[23:11] <Dok> Hey, Kai
[23:11] <Kai> yeah?
[23:12] <Dok> Bourbon + lorezapam?
[23:12] <Dok> Not so mcuh
[23:12] <Kai> no
[23:12] <Idem> HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A SPACKLE DILDO
[23:12] <Dok> and cactus
[23:12] <Kai> cactus is fine
[23:12] <Dok> Gonna woof cookies again, I think
[23:12] <Kai> do not drink alcohol on that stuff
[23:12] <Dok> too late
[23:12] <Kai> DON'T DIE
[23:12] <MistressFreeky> Serves you right.
[23:12] <Idem> what happens kai
[23:12] <Dok> wut
[23:12] <Dok> Only had one shot
[23:13] <NARF> boot to the head
[23:13] <Dok> Kai?
[23:13] <Kai> taking alcohol on antidepressents can lead to the worst hangover you've had in your life
[23:13] <Dok> So can being beaten by Nursey, who is blocking me from the garage
[23:13] <Dok> Kai, I cannot be killed.
[23:14] <Dok> This is fact.
[23:14] <Kai> she should let you do science.
[23:14] <Idem> find an alternate route
[23:14] <Dok> She should
[23:14] <Idem> the world is an adventure
[23:14] <Dok> Fucking spring
[23:14] <Kai> she must learn to ENJOY THE RIDE
[23:14] <Kai> in both senses
[23:14] <Dok> That would have been a hell of a ride
[23:14] <Dok> Considering it went half way across the street
[23:14] <Dok> brb beating
[23:14] <Idem> oh god
[23:14] <Kai> might have taken out her cervix
[23:15] <MistressFreeky> There now.
[23:15] <MistressFreeky> He's under a table.
[23:15] <MistressFreeky> I took care of him with a iece of doweling.
[23:15] <MistressFreeky> Again.
[23:15] <Kai> hey
[23:15] <Kai> that wasn't nice
[23:16] <Idem> it'd be an irresistable force meeting an immovable object
[23:16] <MistressFreeky> He tried to build a thing that would have disemboweled me, maybe.
[23:16] <Kai> nah
[23:16] <Idem> only had 1 horsepower
[23:16] <Kai> yeah
[23:17] <MistressFreeky> Well, we'll neve know now.
[23:17] <Kai> sure we will
[23:17] <MistressFreeky> The spring is gone, and I don't think he has another.
[23:17] <Kai> he can rebuild it
[23:17] <Kai> better, stronger, faster
[23:17] <Idem> HE CAN MAKE IT STRONGER
[23:17] <MistressFreeky> If he does, I'ma hide the
[23:17] <Kai> dildo?
[23:17] <MistressFreeky> Oh wait, he's taking off his clothes and shouting about caddis flies.
[23:17] <MistressFreeky> No, springs.
[23:17] <Idem> oh jesus
[23:17] <Kai> YAY
[23:17] <Idem> kai what did you do
[23:18] <MistressFreeky> Holy shit, is that one hairy bastard.
[23:18] <Kai> I can't be held responsible for where inspiration of my glory arises
[23:18] <Kai> I mean, shit man, there are more insects than anything else, they're everywhere.
[23:19] <MistressFreeky> brb, trying to keep Dok inside.
[23:19] <Kai> I'm starting to vibrate
[23:19] <Kai> NO
[23:20] <Kai> YOU MUST LET THE YETI OUT
[23:21] <MistressFreeky> Well, shit.
[23:21] <MistressFreeky> He's gone.
[23:21] <MistressFreeky> In his engineer boots and NOTHING ELSE.
[23:21] <MistressFreeky> Not even the doweling rod could stay him this time.
[23:22] <MistressFreeky> Let's hope he doesn't run out into traffic
[23:22] <MistressFreeky> :c
[23:22] <MistressFreeky> Jesus, that was a lot of hair...
[23:23] <Cainad> oh dear
[23:23] <NARF> hairy escapes
[23:23] <Dok> BACK.  WITH THE DILDO.
[23:24] <Cainad> LOL
[23:24] <Dok> VICTORY IS MINE
[23:24] <Dok> Fucking dog bit me on the calf.
[23:24] <Kai> lol
[23:24] <Dok> Right above the boot
[23:24] <Cainad> well, you took away his toy
[23:24] <Cainad> dogs are like that
[23:24] <Kai> can you fix the fucktoy?
[23:24] <Dok> Going to fix machine now.  Freeky needs to get her monkey on.
[23:24] <Kai> yes
[23:25] <Dok> If I'm not back in 10 minutes, don't send help
[23:25] *** Dok has quit IRC (Quit: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)
[23:25] <MistressFreeky> Yeah, cuz I might be beating you again.
[23:25] <NARF> Nike
[23:26] <MistressFreeky> You guys shouldn't encourage him, at least not when I'm his test subject.
[23:26] <MistressFreeky>  :/
[23:27] <Kai> he's not going to hurt you
[23:27] <Kai> he's too loyal for that
[23:28] <MistressFreeky> Yes...
[23:28] <MistressFreeky> But he get's all carried away.
[23:28] <MistressFreeky> He's upstairs yelling "FOR SCIENCE" now.
[23:28] <MistressFreeky> I hope you guys are happy.
[23:29] <MistressFreeky> How much is a horsepower, anyway.
[23:29] <Cainad> I am so happy there are little happiness faries dancing in my bloodstream as we speak
[23:29] <Kai> lol
[23:29] <Kai> I'm quite amuzed
[23:29] <Kai> but I'm twitching out
[23:29] <Cainad> 1 hp is actually roughly equivalent to the amount of work 3 horses can do, or something like that
[23:30] <Kai> caffeine is wearing off
[23:30] <MistressFreeky> Sooo...
[23:30] <MistressFreeky> It's like getting fucked by 3 horses?
[23:30] <MistressFreeky> And a soring?
[23:30] <MistressFreeky> spring*
[23:30] <Kai> no
[23:30] <MistressFreeky> Oh...
[23:30] <MistressFreeky> :c
[23:31] <Kai> just let him have his fun
[23:31] <MistressFreeky> Wait, what?
[23:31] <MistressFreeky> I thought he was building it for me.
[23:31] <Kai> he is
[23:31] <Kai> sorta
[23:31] <Cainad> roughly 550 ft-lbs per second
[23:31] <Kai> hes just building it to build it
[23:31] <MistressFreeky> And to test it?
[23:32] <Cainad> to prove that it can be done
[23:32] <MistressFreeky> Sooo, Cainad...
[23:32] <Kai> nahh
[23:32] <Kai> like I said
[23:32] <Kai> he's just teasing you
[23:32] <Kai> so just ride it out
[23:32] <MistressFreeky> It's like geting fuck by 550 feet, each weighing a pound, per second.
[23:32] <Kai> enjoy the fun
[23:33] <MistressFreeky> ?
[23:33] <Kai> no
[23:33] <Kai> 550 lbs per square foot
[23:33] <Kai> so, more or less like a normal rough fucking.
[23:33] <MistressFreeky> But I'm not a square foot wide!
[23:34] <Cainad> "work" in this mechanical sense is a little wuzzy in my brain... it involves some maths that I forgot
[23:34] <Kai> me too cainad
[23:34] <Kai> and I had physics, several semesters
[23:34] <MistressFreeky> Horrible crashing noise from upstairs.
[23:34] <MistressFreeky> Some screaming, cursing.
[23:34] <Kai> probably has got low coordination right now
[23:35] <Cainad> okay, here we go... 1 hp is roughly equivalent to 750 watts
[23:35] <MistressFreeky> . . .
[23:35] <Cainad> and wikipedia sez..
[23:35] <Idem> 750 horsecocks
[23:35] <Idem> err
[23:35] <Cainad> A person having a mass of 100 kilograms who climbs a 3 meter high ladder in 5 seconds is doing work at a rate of about 600 watts.
[23:35] <Idem> 7.5 horsecocks
[23:35] <Idem> forgot to move decimal
[23:35] <MistressFreeky> I KNEW IT
[23:36] <Cainad> a 220 lbs man climbing up 9 feet in 5 seconds is doing less mechanical work than that 1 p engine
[23:36] <Cainad> *1 hp
[23:37] <MistressFreeky> How can a guy climging a ladder light up a lightbulb, and how does that relate to  the Machine of Horrible Doom Sex?
[23:37] * Cainad is probably reading this all wrong
[23:37] <Idem> what are you gonna do about the window
[23:37] <Idem> a fucking dildo shattered it
[23:38] *** NARF has quit IRC (Quit: -a- Connection Timed Out)
[23:38] *** NARF (droid@hide-7B525774.tmodns.net) has joined #discord
[23:38] <MistressFreeky> Probably Dok will build some horrible Science contraption to put in front of it.
[23:38] <MistressFreeky> And I'll say it was fucking.
[23:39] <MistressFreeky> I just shouted up to him about the window.
[23:40] <MistressFreeky> He says it's more nature-y stuff that's condusive to my hippy-ness.

[BADGE OF HONOR]

Please tell me there are pictures.

[Freeky]

Please tell me there are pictures.

No, and I'm going to try and convince him to disassemble it in the morning.

[P3nT4gR4m]

I can't fucking breathe anymore!

[Remington]

 

[BadBeast]

I'm getting a little bit sceptical as to whether Dok is really a fucking Doctor at all!
If I shut my eyes while listening to this, I can see Dok, and Nurse Freeky, at work.
And it reminds me never to have a general anaesthesia, in a room with any Medical Professional at all. Ever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXJN2_Btofc

Nurse: "Shouldn't that be sterilised Doktor?"

Doktor Benway: "Very likely, but there's no time!"  

   



Kai> can you fix the fucktoy?
Dok> Going to fix machine now.  Freeky needs to get her monkey on.
Kai> yes

[Kai]

Bad Beast, are you saying you would deny SCIENCE?!

[Payne]

I love Science.

The Dok, he needs to get his own Practical Science TV show NOW.

[BadBeast]

I think he needs a whole new "ology" of science, all of his own, for the good of all mankind.
And yes, the sooner the better. Preferably before that cactus wears right off, hopefully it will science his lorazepam hangover better.

[Payne]

NO! A man of the good herr Doktors prodigious talents shouldn't be pigeon holed into one discipline! The entirety of SCIENCE must be his playground!

As for the lorazepam hangover, we should count whatever blessings we can. And anyway, he did only have one shot of JD.

[BadBeast]

A Pansciencologist?
A Doktor of Pansciencology?

[BadBeast]

Bad Beast, are you saying you would deny SCIENCE?!

Never would I deny a Science! Science is Glorious Leader. All of my bases is belong to science!  One day, all of peoples will be sciences too. This I knows is truth.

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

Sweet merciful fuck!

[Payne]

I don't think there's ANY mercy in that fuck.

Also, Dok, can you send one over for Pixie?