Forgot about Dok

[BadBeast]

At first I was all and then I was all "it is what it is".

However, I am not king of this place.  That's Squid, who simply hands me instructions.

Yeah, I know, I did hase it down different, on a wordpad document, but my fucking shatty PC crashed and I lost it. Had to re-do it from unintelligible notes, scrawled on paper. Paper, ffs.!

Who does THAT? 

Well, I know who won't be doing it again, unless he's sat somewhere sensible, with a flat surface at least, to lean on! (Me)
Sat on the crapper, balancing a Hemingway notebook on my lap, trying to scrawl stuff down with a 2 inch stub of blunt pencil is less than conducive to a creative atmosphere. Especially when you take into account the stench rising up from the 9 coiler I'd just wrestled into submission.
Lawks a mercy!

[Phox]

Bump for lulz. 

[Phox]

Hi! My name is (what?)
My name is (who?)
My name is Dok Phoxy
Hi! My name is (huh?)
My name is (who?)
My name is Dok Phoxy.
[Repeat]

Hi, kids! Do you like violence?
(Yeah, yeah!)
Wanna see me stick nine inch nails through each one of your eyelids?
(Uh-huh!)

Wanna try this , do exactly like I did?
(Yeah, yeah!)
Try 'cid, end us as fucked up as Wizard Joseph?
(Huh?)

His brain's deadweight,
We tried to set him straight,
But now the only option is to let him suffocate.
(Uhhhh....)

And Doktor Howl said: "Dok Phoxy you're a shitneck!"
NUH-UH!
"And you're messing with my tape deck!
Man, you're worse than Ben Affleck!"

Well, since age twelve,
I've felt like someone else.
Since hung my original self
off the top bunk with a belt.

Got pissed off
And ripped Wyldkat's tits off.
And then BH jacked off.
So I had to blow his dick off, like Kris Kross.

I'll down a quick round of Cap,
And bust ya ass
Faster than that fucking snitch
At the Trad Witch crap.
C'mere' ED!
(Phoxy wait a minute that's my friend, see?)
I don't give a fuck,
Dok sent me to fuck the whole world up!

Hi! My name is (what?)
My name is (who?)
My name is Dok Phoxy
Hi! My name is (huh?)
My name is (who?)
My name is Dok Phoxy.
[Repeat]

Lots of people try to commit suicide in junior high.
The only problem is not enough of them actually die.
So we should shoot 'em in the face with a Taser.
Chase 'em around in a Blazer,
Get out and rub their genitals on a cheese grater.

Yatto ought be put through Fight Club.
Little shit needs his shit fucked up
Shove my armor plated cock in his rump.
Fucking stalking,
Bitch won't be talking about it
And he sure as hell won't be walking out of it.

Ninety-nine percent of our lives we've been lied to.
When did y'all find out that your mom has more sex than you do?
You should tell her that you're opening up a whorehouse.
Maybe she'll earn enough money to keep you two out of the poorhouse.
When the economy collapses and you can't even afford a lock for your door, like Faust.

You know you've fucked up when you've got CU on your hands.
Slinging shit like a motherfucker in a stupid faux-punk band.
And screaming incoherently like an orgy of Bieber fans!
Then you go to White Castle and start signing autographs,
And there's CU saying "Dear Dok, you're such a manipulative ASSHOLE!"

Hi! My name is (what?)
My name is (who?)
My name is Dok Phoxy
Hi! My name is (huh?)
My name is (who?)
My name is Dok Phoxy.
[Repeat]

STOP THE TAPE!
CU HAS TOO MUCH TO SAY!
Dok, hey wait!
Don't walk away!
Can't you see he wants to bask in your hate?

He's not ready to leave!
He's too scared to die!
(Fuck that!)
So let's drag him to the cemetery and have him buried alive!
He's coming or going?
He can't even decide!
ED just drank another fifth of vodka!
Let's dare her to drive! (C'mon!)

All these trolls are just so deprived.
Not one has been laid in years,
And they're just too dumb to survive!

They blow worse than Ang Lee's "Incredible Hulk"
They just shit when they talk,
They never even learned to walk the walk.

When they were new they used to get so angry they'd talk shit,
BUT HOW YOU GONNA FUCK WITH US WHEN YOU AIN'T GOT NO DICK?

Maybe they should lay awake and strap themselves to the bed.
Put a bullet proof vest on and shoot themselves in the head!
They get steaming mad,
Cry that Dok's so bad,
And that we ruined their life and those dreams they had!

Hi! My name is (what?)
My name is (who?)
My name is Dok Phoxy
Hi! My name is (huh?)
My name is (who?)
My name is Dok Phoxy.
[Repeat x4]

[Don Coyote]

 

You have issues.

[Phox]

You have issues.

Yeah, yeah, I'm an ultraviolent fuck with sociopathic tendencies. 

[Doktor Howl]

 

[Phox]

And because i did that one, I had to do this one:

May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention pease?
Would the real Doktor Howl please stand up?
I repeat: Would the real Doktor Howl please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here...

Y'all act like you've never seen a misanthrope before
Jaws on the floor, like Wyldkat and BH just burst through the door,
And he started choking his cock while he was choking his whore,
Fucked up for sure, throwin' her over furniture (ahh!)
It's the return of the ... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding
He didn't do what I think he did, did he?"
And TGRR said... NOTHING, YOU IDIOTS!
TGRR's dead, he's locked in Dok's basement!
Feminist women love to get at him,
"Look at him, walking around,
Talking about you-know-what,
Pissing on you-know-who."
"Yeah, but he's so mean though!"

Yeah, he's probably got a few screw up in his head loose,
But no worse than what goes in your bedrooms.
Sometimes he goes around PD, and just lets loose, but he can't
Liam loses his shit like someone set fire to his pubes,
"This gets people lynched, this gets people lynched!"
And if we're lucky he might just be the proof of this...
And that's message that we spread to little kids,
And then we expect them to know what freedom is,
Of course they're gonna think force is okay
By the time they hit fourth grade!
They watch FOX News, don't they?
They're all just animals.
We should feed them to the cannibals
And watch 'em cut 'em like cantaloupes.
But here we give corporations the right to vote,
But for some reason a man and another man can't elope....
If you feel like I feel, he's got the antidote
Make you wet your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes....

I'm Dok Phoxy, yes, I'm elucidating,
But I'm just a proxy, and not intimidating,
So won't the real Doktor Howl please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?
[Repeat]

Wyldkat don't gotta cuss to make her point.
Well, I do, so fuck her, and fuck you too.
You think I give a damn about offending her granny?
Half of you dicks can't even stomach me, let alone stand me.
"But Phox, what if you did, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you could feel comfortable here?
What's next? Want me to discuss Britney Spears?
Shit, LMNO better switch me chairs,
So I can sit next to Requia and Fuckface the Third,
And listen to them argue about who I pissed on worse.
You little bitch, it's like gargling with glass when you post to PD,
"Yeah, it's okay to call them Lapps, tee-hee!"
I wish had that on audio, mp3,
And then I'd show the world how she gave BH VD.
I'm sick of all your little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me,
I have been sent here to destroy. (Like TSC).
And there's a million of us. Just like Dok,
Who cuss like Dok, just don't give a fuck like Dok,
Write like Dok, think, talk, and act like Dok,
And you'll never grok so go choke on a sock, 'cause that's our Dok....

I'm Dok Phoxy, yes, I'm elucidating,
But I'm just a proxy, and not intimidating,
So won't the real Doktor Howl please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?
[Repeat]

He's like a head trip to listen to,
Because he's only saying what you talk about
With your friends inside your living room.
Only difference is he's got the balls to say it front of y'all
And he doesn't gotta be false or sugarcoat it all.
He'll just get on the mic and shit it,
And whether or not you like to admit it,
He can spin it better than ninety percent of the writers out there,
Then you wonder why we eat up his columns like valium.
It's funny, cause the way we're going, by the time I'm thirty
I'll be the only one in the wastelands flirting.
Pinchin' Mad Max's ass when I'm chillin' out with mercs 'n' I'll be smirkin',
While I wait around for them to get the death cars workin'.
In every single person is a Doktor Howl lurkin'
Could be lurkin' preparing a trap to spring,
Waitin' to take a shit on your favorite things
Or in the parking lot, circlin'
Screamin' "I don't give a fuck!"
With his windows down and his fingers up.
So, will the real Doktor Howl please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud and outta your mind and outta control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

I'm Dok Phoxy, yes, I'm elucidating,
But I'm just a proxy, and not intimidating,
So won't the real Doktor Howl please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?
[Repeat x4]



There's a little bit of Dok in all of us.
Fuck it, let's all stand up...

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Check My Email

[talking:]

That's right noob, Dok Howl in this. Check it out.

I'd like to thank you shitstains, for all the epic FAIL and the hate mail,
Every Internet Tough Guy cryin when he breaks a nail
The admins gave me my ban, and laughed in my face,
Cause they thought I'm goin' from first to last place.
So I'm makin out another hateshit list,
Dutch scat and porn with fish.
Goatse, tubgirl, cactus is as close to sane as I can get it,
Hopin this weekend I proxy over for a visit.
But I ain't stressin I'm just countin down weeks,
Hateshittin and chillin so I'm always sleep.
The butthurts want the boss man to catch me IRL slippin,
But they just IRL trippin,
So they bringin me WOMPS of fat nekkid wiccans
Some of them love me, some of them they can't stand me,
Probably cause I got Slack and in the world I ride candy.
They think they put me through hell,
But I can't tell,
It don't matter what they do as long as I got their email.

Get their emaaaaaiiiillll, their email. Their email. (Run IP, run IP, run IP)
Get their emaaaaaiiiillll, their email. Their email. (Run IP, run IP, run IP)

Ain't nothin on the TV but Jerry Springer,
This racist's IP and CU's are a ringer
Fuckin with Jenne and Hawk, he's such a wreck
He's butthurt from that time I shit down his neck
Certain pagans try to give me a hard time,
And the admin's watching tryin to catch me throwin up HIMEOBS signs.
For no reason at all, they constantly harrass me,
Tryin to get me to lose my temper, so they can gas me.
It's funny,
Cause I got so much hateshit they can't take none of it from me,
They just mad cause they forum smells like pee.
And still gotta jack off in they basements, with they cheeto stained dick,
Takin it out on me, cause I broke Church of Google with a shit brick
But it's all right I just lay back,
I love to see they faces when Nigel fucks up their slack
Meanwhile I can't even tell I'm banned,
Who wants one of my alts? I'm doin swell,
Y'all can kiss my ass on the way to sending hate mail.

Send hate maaaaaiiiillll, send hate mail. Hate  mail. (Hate mail, hate mail, hate mail)
You can eat a bag of diiiiiiiiiiiicks, bag of dicks, bag of dicks. (bag of dicks, bag of dicks, bag of dicks)

http://www.urbanlyrics.com/lyrics/zro/bringmymail.html

[trix]

Lyrics to "Damn it feels good to be a gangsta" By Geto Boyz, Office Space Soundtrack.
http://www.lyricsfreak.com/g/geto+boys/damn+it+feels+good+to+be+a+gangsta_20059876.html

damn it feels good to be discordian
a really real discordian plays his cards right
a really real discordian always runs his fuckin mouth
cause a really real discordian loves to start fights.

and primates always gotta Dok-fap
showin all his boys how he got him
but really real discordians don't e-prime
'cause really real discordians done shot him
and everythings chaos in the mind of eris
cause discordians tend to think deep
up three sixty five a year 24/7
cause really real discordians don't sleep

and all I gotta say to you
wannabe, gonnabe, cocksuckin' pussy-eatin' trolls
cause when the toilet pisses back what the fuck you gonna do
shoulda kept a lid on the bowl.

damn it feels good to be discordian
laughin at the poor and the sick
although i'm broke as a joke
sometimes I just want to be a dick.
damn it feels good to be discordian
i mean one that you don't really know
rollin thru the forum like a troll
shittin everywhere that you fuckers go.
now really real discordians come in all shapes and colors
some got bored in the past
but this discordian's an odd one
learned to enjoy it up the ass.

damn it feels good to be discordian
a real discordian that takes shits
really real discordians get the dark empress
ask that discordian named trix
now nigel looks at trix like a stop sign
and plays the role of hard to get
but if trix was native to portland
he'd be all fuckin over that shit.
'cause PD.com be "a poker game"
as ECH told me one time
"then you came in and ran your fucking mouth"
like pulling up a chair is a crime.
really real discordians DO talk much
cause maybe we got some shit to say
you can watch me dribble or watch your cards
but don't act like i'm standin in your way.
now when you on PD talkin shit takin shits
ignorin the state the board be in
i'll just kick back and peep game
'cause damn it feels good to be discordian.

[Phox]

Bump for later use...

[Roly Poly Oly-Garch]

So you old MindFuckers thought I was gonna lurk my style?
What are you saying n00b? saying n00b? saying n00b?

To all the lurkers, spags and PD ops,
Here's some apple sauce, on your fnord chops.
This n00b's like this, in chaos born
Cut my third eye watching two cup porn

Shroom caps, bar stool whaps,
Harsh truth laughing, and high stakes faps,
Wholly fuct discordian for lolz I might
be looking this way because I want a fight

But if I am, I gotta say this straight
feed the troll, you're on the plate
Wanna look so good, impress your scene
I scratch my itch flaying your e-peen.

If you ask me, what this shit's about, I'll say it's about Kallisti
But if you tell me, I've got it wrong, I'll just say or kill me.
Pinealist replied to me and wrote, "Chicken log disaster
who jaw 2.3. suck-on-a-bee stand the rug his master?"

I said, what are you sayin' with your fuct mouth
are you jacking novacaine?
Ask your shrink, Doctor Gonzo, I'll bet he'll feel my pain.
Like, one year he hid in my shed and slipped me orange sunshine.
He glibbed my frock, ness to yay, holy fuck my mind.

What is chao? Chao is some shit
I lean on Eris when low on wit
Yeah, I'll lean on Eris just like Mal
Like Gomer P. sounded nasal.

You can call me n00b but say it nice,
You'll get me butt hurt and I'll spread my lice.
You see I've no mittens, I've barely two thumbs,
No Le, No Le, this song got dumbs. BITCH!

[The Good Reverend Roger]

MY NEED IS MOAR.

RAP FOR ME, YOU BASTARDS.

[LMNO]

My name is LMNO-metropolis
My lyrics are bottomless






































Word.

[Doktor Howl]

Bump. 

[The Wizard Joseph]

So Dok finna bump
In the days of Trump
President with the speaking prowess
Of Forrest Gump
Washing all America down
In a septic sump

But Dok is a man of action
When he's not in traction
From dancing so hard
He broke the 'Disco' faction

His words are unheard of
With an edge so clean
It gleams with all the sharpness
Of a Richter blade

I don't usually say much
But I gotta a bust
The occasional rhyme
Bitch it's the end of times
As we sit clinking glasses
On our big fat asses
Watching Rome burn
at every turn
With Nazis in the street
Tryna build a new Axis
With fake news and faker smiles
But fuck them and their Praxis

No new worlds being born
Just this one going down
Like a $5 bj from a crying clown

And when it all goes up
We gonna dance in the ashes

Now don't bust this
Casual little rhyme
Cuz the blood moon tonight
Means it's the end of times
And all the fuckers who don't dance
Are going to pay for their crimes

Just one more thing
Before I go
And pay my respects
To those with more flow
Get up or get down
But don't just stay seated
Because Times Like These Fool
Won't ever be repeated