Orc and Pie

[The Wizard]

I shake up my mountain Dew and fire the explosive fizz at him.

[Freeky]

I take my pance off and attempt raping the orc to death.

[Elder Iptuous]

I point to the fact that he currently has people raping him, Mtn Dewing him, throwing blackberries at him,  'crying gaming' him, etc. all in the confines of this 10x10 room.

Then i tell him that i'll invite 30 more people from the deepest depraved corners of the internet in here if'n he doesn't cough up the pie.

[The Wizard]

Then i tell him that i'll invite 30 more people from the deepest depraved corners of the internet in here if'n he doesn't cough up the pie.

Damn, that's just sick. Wish I'd thought of it.

[Doktor Howl]

I object.  The standard dungeon room is 30' square, not 10' square.  Everyone knows that.  I mean, it's common sense, really.  If you're digging through solid rock, you want to dig as much as possible.

I can't even bring myself to envision this combat.  You'll simply have to move your orc to a 30'X30' room...or maybe a classic ell-shaped room.  Like in the good old days.  You spoiled-ass gamers have no idea how easy you have it.  Why, in my day, we didn't have "saving throws", we just cowboy'd up and took our lumps.  No dice, either.  Not even those numbered chits.  We whacked our heads against the table edge until we started bleeding, and then counted the drops of blood.  You had to WANT your crits, back in THOSE days.  grumble grumble kids these days grumble grumble

[The Wizard]

grumble grumble kids these days grumble grumble

And get off your lawn desert.

[Doktor Howl]

grumble grumble kids these days grumble grumble

And get off your lawn.

I don't have a lawn (desert), but yeah.

[Freeky]

grumble grumble kids these days grumble grumble

And get off your lawn.

Scariest old guy ever.

[The Wizard]

Scariest old guy ever

The hate he's directing at us is almost palpable.

[Chairman Risus]

And the radio said "No, John. You are the orc."
Then John had the pie.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Oh, yes, and I take the pie quietly out of the room while the orc goes 

[LMNO]

I take my pance off and attempt raping the orc to death.

Freeky stole my move.

[Freeky]

I take my pance off and attempt raping the orc to death.

Freeky stole my move.

Don't you just hate kill steals? 

[Cain]

I cast "detect evil".

[Cramulus]

I cast "detect evil".

it turns out that you are evil


I wonder how often wizards discover their alignment by accident like that