FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST

[Cramulus]

BDS HAVE YOU EVER HEARD THE THRILLING TALE OF THE TORTOISE AND THE HARE?

HERE'S A CLUE: THE RABBIT EATS SIX ORANGES AND THEN GETS GANGBANGED BY THROAT RAPERS WITH TREMBLING CALLOUSED HANDS. THEN HE TAKES UP THE CLARINET AND ENDS UP ON THE SIX O'CLOCK NEWS WITH THIS HEADLINE:


ASS MONGLER CALLED BDS DIES FROM ANAL TIDAL WAVE.



        FAIL AT ELEVEN!
        /


YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CAN DO WITH YOUR SIX FUCKING ORANGES? GO FUCK YOURSELF.

[Cramulus]

WITH ORANGES


_{IN CASE THAT WASN'T CLEAR}

[bds]

OH MY GOD   






ALSO I JUST SHAT. IT WAS DISGUSTING OMG WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE TO ME CRAM

[Cramulus]

OH GOD ME TOO

I FEEL LIKE A WHITE BRONCO HAS ESCAPED FROM MY ASS

[Cramulus]

FOUR ORANGES DOWN

I WENT TO THE STORE
TO GET MORE
ORANGES
TO START THE WAR

[Doktor Howl]

CRAM IT CRAM.

ORANGES?  MORE LIKE BORANGES!
YOU CAN MOUTH MOLEST ALL THE SCREMAING FRUIT YOU LIKE.  CRAM AS MANY OF THOSE YIELDING PATHIC LIE DOWN TO GET FUCKED FRANCE-STYLE PARADISE FRUITS AS YOU LIKE.  WON'T CHANGE A THING.  MY POOP IS STRONGEST.  I'VE TAKEN 3 DUMPS TODAY.  STONE COLD SOLID FUCKERS.  EVERY BIT OF PLANT MATTER FOR 3 FURLONGS HAS WITHERED, AND SMALL CHILDREN ARE SOBBING FOR NO REASON.

SIMPEL FACT:  YOUR ASS IS GONNA GET BLOWN OPEN LIKE PEELED SLICED MONKY SNACKS.  YOUR SPHINCTER IS GONNA REMIND PEOPLE OF A MERCATOR PROJECTION.  

[Cainad (dec.)]

FUCK I DON'T HAVE ANY ORANGES

I AM TOTALLY CATCHING THE FUCK UP LATER TODAY THOUGH AND PROVE MY ORANGE-STAINED SUPERIORITY. SITTING IN CLASS IS GONNA BE AWESOME.


ALSO, DO GRAPEFRUITS COUNT?

[Cramulus]

NO GRAPEFRUITS OBVIOUSLY DON'T COUNT IF YOU EAT ONE YOU MIGHT AS WELL TAKE OFF YOUR SUSPENDERS AND RUN FOR PRESIDENT OF THE SCROTE CLUB. BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO CHECK YOUR FACE AT THE DOOR ON THE WAY IN BECAUSE THERE ARE NO WEAPONS OF TITANIC FAIL ALLOWED IN THIS CONTEST UNLESS YOUR BRAIN DAMAGED UNCLE IS DONE MOLESTING YOUR FACE WITH HIS PET FERRET AND WANTS TO ENTER THAT FERRET.

I'M BACK FROM THE STORE WITH MORE ORANGES SO THE REST OF YOU JIZZKNOBS MIGHT AS WELL EAT A ZIPLOCK BAG FULL OF DICKS. THE ZIP SEAL KEEPS YOUR FAIL FRESH AS A SUMMER DAY.

MY WILLPOWER TO EAT ORANGES IS FADING BUT YOU'RE ALL GOING TO FUCK Y'ALL WITH A NECK FULL OF SWEAT UNTIL THE LORD CHRIST HIMSELF MAKES THE WINNING TOUCHDOWN IN THOSE GOALPOSTS YOU CALL AN ASS

[Richter]

Guess how many Oranges I've ate so far?

NONE.

THAT'S RIGHT.  i'M NOT FUCKING DEFINED BY MY CONSUMPTION. 
I AIN'T A PART OF YO SYSTEM.

ZERO ORANGES DOWN, BUT I HOUSED A FUCKING BAG OF TORTELLINI AND REAMED EACH INDIVIDUAL BUSTED ASSHOLE MEATSNAKC WITH MY TONGUE MUCH LIKE I DID TO YO MOTHERS SAVORY BUM LAST NIGHT. 

THAT'S RIGHT, WHILE YOU WERE RIDING YOUR IKE WITH NO HANDLEBARS, I WAS FISTING YOUR MOM WITH MY WHOLE FACE.  GUESS WHERE THAT BAG OF ORANGES WAS?

THE GODDAMN SCOUTMASTER OF THE UNIVERSE SHOWED UP IN PERSON TO GIVE ME A MERIT BADGE FOR THAT, AND IT LOOKS A LOT BETTER ON MY BANDOLIER OF MACE, LUBE, AND HIGH PWOERED FIREARMS, THAN THOSE HERPES SORES YOUR DAD GAVE YOU LOOK.

LIKE A CUCUMBER.

[Richter]

Y'ALL GO OFF SCREMAING LIKE EXTREMEISTS.
FOR ALL YOUR  NOISE YOUR ONLY EX - REAMISTS.

R, DROPPIN' IT ECH STYLE.

[Cramulus]

WHAT'S THAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU. IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMEBODY TYPING WITH SUCH A TINY NAMBY PAMBY PREPUBESCENT DICK THAT THE WORDS COME OUT IN A FONT TOO SMALL TO READ.

[Cainad (dec.)]

CRAM YOU INSULIN-GOBBLING SHITEMONGLER

YOU ONLY BANNED GRAPEFRUITS FROM THE CONTEST BECAUSE YOUR PANSY ASS IS TOO FULL OF LOTUS FLOWERS AND FAIL-SNAILS TO MAN THE FUCK UP TO THE HOOCHIE MAMA OF CITRUS THAT IS GRAPEFRUIT

MAYBE YOU SHOULD SAVE YOURSELF THE REST OF THE HUMILIATION NOW AND TURN IN YOUR GOLDEN WHALE PENIS DILDO TROPHY THAT YOU WON FOR SHITTING YOUR PANTS IN THE THIRD GRADE

[Suu]

I need to get more oranges now.

5 down. that was all of them.

...my tummy is all WTF.

[Cramulus]

CAINAD, FOR ALL I CARE YOU CAN GO START YOUR OWN GRAPEFRUIT CRAMMING CONTEST WITH THOSE FANTA GARGLING MONGOLOIDS YOU CALL FRIENDS WHO HAVE THE READING COMPREHENSION OF A BELGIAN WAFFLE.

[Richter]

WHAT'S THAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU. IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMEBODY TYPING WITH SUCH A TINY NAMBY PAMBY PREPUBESCENT DICK THAT THE WORDS COME OUT IN A FONT TOO SMALL TO READ.

..I'm going to say this very slowly, in words you will understand.


MY
BALLS
WILL
DESTROY
YOUR
FACE.