FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST

[Cain]

I'm so hungry and full at the same time. Something smells bad and I don't know if it's me. There's still 12 left just in the first bag.

IT BEGINS

[The Wizard Joseph]

I had a vividly hallucinatory dream of Diogenes and his early "Dog Pack" discovering an orange grove. It was awesome and I'll make it a short story in Dustrael's narrative style.

but FIRST

8 MORE ORANGES ARE GOING DOWN TO TIE AT 22!

I'll have 8+ hours before midnight to put more away!

NONE SHALL AGAIN TOUCH NIGEL'S TITLE!!! NONE SHALL DARE!!

[The Wizard Joseph]

On a scientific note I feel fine! A bit bloated... I passed chunkily but acceptably. The smell was like hell ripped open in a breeze, but nothing I don't deal with professionally. It's time to push the envelope!

[The Wizard Joseph]

I really can't believe this is happening again.

Best reboot of Groundhog Day ever.

Oh no! To get caught in a loop eating nothing but oranges and shittalking.. Sysiphius has it good by comparison!

[The Wizard Joseph]

I was thinking "I WILL DEVOUR YOUR WHOLE SPECIES" whilst peeling number 20

AND IT SPAT RIGHT IN MY EYE!! 

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

7 defeated. My stomach is very insistent that all this is a bad idea and I should feel bad. My hands are orange-dry and my nails are coated in rind.

[The Wizard Joseph]

7 defeated. My stomach is very insistent that all this is a bad idea and I should feel bad. My hands are orange-dry and my nails are coated in rind.

Then stop for a while and wash them hands asap. The chemical will just keep chewing on you otherwise.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

7 defeated. My stomach is very insistent that all this is a bad idea and I should feel bad. My hands are orange-dry and my nails are coated in rind.

Then stop for a while and wash them hands asap. The chemical will just keep chewing on you otherwise.

I feel like you don't understand the point of oranges.

[The Wizard Joseph]

7 defeated. My stomach is very insistent that all this is a bad idea and I should feel bad. My hands are orange-dry and my nails are coated in rind.

Then stop for a while and wash them hands asap. The chemical will just keep chewing on you otherwise.

I feel like you don't understand the point of oranges.

I do. I'm peeling with my bare hands and have not taken my own advice. But now nobody can say that the reasonable path was unknown.

IF WE CAN RULE OUT IDIOCY THEN WHAT'S LEFT TO EXPLAIN THE BEHAVIOUR!??

It must be something else. Something sinister and citrus.

Edit to add:
I've had 22,
And am sick
of the bastards

Like looking at the last 14 I have makes me heave a little. I will go on, OH YES, but must rest.

Something is stirring within. The ORANGES know... oh they know.

(Mild hallucinations? Yay!)

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Does vodka count as other food?

[The Wizard Joseph]

Does vodka count as other food?

No. I don't recommend also drinking for all kinds of reasons. Alcohol will strip your stomach lining and make the acid very much worse sunce you're going hardcore with no other foods.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Does vodka count as other food?

No. I don't recommend also drinking for all kinds of reasons. Alcohol will strip your stomach lining and make the acid very much worse sunce you're going hardcore with no other foods.

9 down

the goal of this is not to be comfortable.

[The Wizard Joseph]

Does vodka count as other food?

No. I don't recommend also drinking for all kinds of reasons. Alcohol will strip your stomach lining and make the acid very much worse sunce you're going hardcore with no other foods.

9 down

the goal of this is not to be comfortable.

Well I better get eating again then!!

Still, don't be putting yourself in the hospital.

Tell ya what I'll forego the yogurts on my final run. I have about 7 hrs left until midnight and 14 oranges. I'll go the last bunch hardcore, you consider taking it easy on the booze and drinking a water chaser if you feel you absolutely.. must. Deal?

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Does vodka count as other food?

No. I don't recommend also drinking for all kinds of reasons. Alcohol will strip your stomach lining and make the acid very much worse sunce you're going hardcore with no other foods.

9 down

the goal of this is not to be comfortable.

Well I better get eating again then!!

Still, don't be putting yourself in the hospital.

Tell ya what I'll forego the yogurts on my final run. I have about 7 hrs left until midnight and 14 oranges. I'll go the last bunch hardcore, you consider taking it easy on the booze and drinking a water chaser if you feel you absolutely.. must. Deal?

lol I don't think I'm heading to the hospital.

#10 is sitting there, taunting me.

[The Wizard Joseph]

Does vodka count as other food?

No. I don't recommend also drinking for all kinds of reasons. Alcohol will strip your stomach lining and make the acid very much worse sunce you're going hardcore with no other foods.

9 down

the goal of this is not to be comfortable.

Well I better get eating again then!!

Still, don't be putting yourself in the hospital.

Tell ya what I'll forego the yogurts on my final run. I have about 7 hrs left until midnight and 14 oranges. I'll go the last bunch hardcore, you consider taking it easy on the booze and drinking a water chaser if you feel you absolutely.. must. Deal?

lol I don't think I'm heading to the hospital.

#10 is sitting there, taunting me.

Destroy it!!

I'm going to switch over anyway,
fuck the whole GI system!!

I borrowed this pic and don't know how to embed it, but it's PERFECT.

Guess I should get peeling.

TIMES A WASTING!!!

OTHER THAN THE
HALLCINATIONS
AND GIDDYNESS
I FEEL FUCKING FINE,
MORE ORANGES!!!

-possible last words of T.W. Joseph 

Edit note: it's exactly 5:23 pm by my smartphone when I happened to post that.

SO BE IT!!