FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST

[navkat]

SUMMONING A GHOST ASS

 

It's the "Let's talk about navkat's boyfriends" day

[Freeky]

I AM MAKING SWEET LOVING TO THESE ORANGES WHILE YOU IMPOTENT SPAGS JUST SIT THERE AND WATCH, CRYING INTO YOUR COFFEE, TEARS SPILLING DOWN YOUR FACE AND ONTO YOUR TINY FLACCID DICK WHICH CANNOT SATISFY YOUR OWN ORANGES.

IN OTHER WORDS, I JUST FINISHED NUMBER FIVE, ASSHOLES.

[Freeky]

HOO HOO HOO, WHAT DO I SEE IN MY HAND?

FUCKING NOTHING, BECAUSE I JUST ATE MY SIXTH ORANGE.

[Fractalbeard]

I'm taking a poo break, and have just shat 23  cumsnarfing orange s worth of pulp. Suck it, trout-butt spelunkers!

[navkat]

Ew.

[Fractalbeard]

Oh, god, I forgot about the smell 

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

OHAI NET

I AM DEVOURING NUMBER FOUR RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.  YOU MAY HAVE BOUT TEN HOURS ON ME, BUT HOW LONG CAN YOU KEEP UP THE EATING?

AT LEAST FOR ANOTHER 10 FEET OF INTESTINE, I'D RECKON.

EIGHTEEN.

AND NOW I HAVE TO GO TO AN ALREADY UNCOMFORTABLE APPOINTMENT AT SCHOOL.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

I'm taking a poo break, and have just shat 23  cumsnarfing orange s worth of pulp. Suck it, trout-butt spelunkers!

THAT'S A CROCK OF DICKS THAT FELL OUT OF YOUR LYING GAPER OF A MOUTH.

[navkat]

A CROCK OF DICKS

 










*covet*

[Phox]

I will be unable to talk shit during most of my orange eating I have precisely 2 tasks today. I have to write 3 reviews on articles about hero cults in Ancient Greece, and I have to kick your juice-stained asses at orange eating. I have vowed to eat 1 orange per hundred words I write. I just finished my review of the first article, and it came out to eight hundred words. I must now eat eight oranges. Prepare meet your orangey doom.

[Cramulus]

SWEET MERCIFUL SASSAFRAS OF GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE I SIGNED UP FOR THIS SHIT AGAIN
an angry tirade by Professor Cramulus

I MEAN FOR FUCK'S WRINKLY SAKE, WHY WOULD ANY SANE HUMAN BEING AGREE TO POISON THEMSELVES HALF TO DEATH WITH ORANGES FOR NO GOD DAMN REASON AT ALL

I DON'T KNOW WHY I DO IT. FUCK YOU RIGHT BACK. RIGHT IN YOUR DISASTROUSLY MUSICAL BARN HOLE FOR A CHANGE.

SO TODAY I WOKE UP AND I SAID, "SHITCOCK"

IN FACT I SAID IT SIX OR SEVEN TIMES IN A ROW, BECAUSE WHEN I WAKE UP, I LIKE TO MAKE A POINT, AND I LIKE TO BE CLEAR


SO I JUMPED OUT OF BED AND LANDED IN MY CAR AND I PUT ON SUNGLASSES AND I WAS LIKE

LET'S DO THIS THING

and by that I mean
I WANT A BAGEL

and while I'm at the market I'll pick up
A MILLION FUCKING ORANGES AND EAT THEM UNTIL I VOMIT CITRIC ACID AND PEE OUT MY EYES WHILE DUMPING HELL BUCKETS OUT MY BARN HOLE AND PRETENDING LIKE I'M NOT GIVING BIRTH TO THE ORANGE EQUIVALENT OF THE CALIFORNIA-RAISINS DAMN THEY'RE SINGING IN MY GUTS DAMN

I WENT HOME AND I'M NOT SHITTING YOU
I'M NOT SHITTING YOU
I HAVE TAKEN SIX ORANGES TO MY DOME
I AM NOT SHITTING YOU TODAY

GUESS WHAT FUCKBRAIDS, THE WAITRESS IS HERE AND SHE'S READY TO TAKE YOUR ANAL NEUROTIC FUCK ORDER AND BRING YOU A TV-DINNER TRAY FULL OF AWFUL DICKLIKE MAGGOTS HUMPING EACH OTHER LIKE IT'S 1991 AND THE HUMPTY HUMP IS PLAYING AT A MIDDLE SCHOOL DANCE SOMEWHERE, AND THE MAGGOTS ARE JUST WORMING AROUND WITH ANXIOUS EYES JUST WRITHING IN THIS AWFUL UNSEXY WAY,

OKAY NOW VISUALIZE THAT ALL OF THOSE MIDDLE SCHOOLERS SLASH MAGGOTS ARE LIVING DOG SHIT

AND THEY ALL VOMIT ACID ON YOU

THEN THEY BLOW UP AND GET SHIT EVERYWHERE

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Cramulus doesn't make you shit.

He makes you shit better.

 

[Cain]

and by that I mean
I WANT A BAGEL

Hey man, I was having a bagel eating competition a few days ago.  No-one wanted to take part.  Don't blame me.

[Suu (parody account)]

NOW LISTEN HERE YOU CODSWALLOPING FUCKTARDS.

THANKS TO THE POWERS THAT BE OF MOTHER FUCKING NATURE IN FLORIDA AND MY PARENTS BACKYARD, I HAVE PROCURED A DISGUSTING AMOUNT OF FRESH NAVEL ORANGES AND GRAPEFRUITS THAT HAVE BEEN MEETING THEIR MATCH WITH MY MANDIBLE MASTICATION OF MAMMOTH MANAGEABILITY. NO, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS, BUT IT'S FUCKING ALLITERATION SO BLOW IT OUT YOUR PEE HOLES, YOU FALLOPIAN FLAPPING PENIS WRINKLES.

I'M ON SEVEN. AND THE GRAPEFRUITS ARE SHOWING THEIR JEALOUSY. WILL I HAVE TO UP THE ANTE OF ACIDITY?!!

[Cramulus]

THIS IS BETTER THAN THE JIZZ OLYMPICS WHEN WE ALL GOT INCURABLE BUICK INFECTIONS AND I SET MY CATS PENIS ON FIRE
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