The Instinct to Conform

[Fujikoma]

I am naught but a tube to dispense fire from heaven...

That being said, any attempt for me to conform is usually an exercise in futility. I get nervous in crowds, I flap my arms, I'm sensitive to being touched, and VERY sensitive to anyone behind me... Unless the crowd is large enough, the music is good, and I've had enough to drink... Then it's all cool, I can be part of the squished, compact crowd.

Sadly, I only wish conformity had ever been an option I could have chosen... Still, I see nothing wrong with playing into the charade, one must be able to practice the aneristic as well as the ersitic... I envy that... I really do.

The truth, which has been repeated many times, and which I shall waste time repeating here, is, no man is an island. One should not be ashamed of one's ability to socialize, much less enjoy it. One can get all hung up on non-conformist ideas, but really, it would be kind of nice to be able to mingle without flapping my arms, looking uncomfortable, and twitching... I'm not angry, maybe a little jealous, but breathe fire as well as ice, man.

Personality? Individuality? Such words mean little to me... Sure, there are all kinds of wild accusations I've heard, but one should not be embarrassed if one can fit in, one should only be embarrassed if they allow themselves to become a total tool. Consider it a talent, rather than a problem, even if you shift form for a time, you know who you are, what you believe in, do as you see fit, as long as it is "right", whatever the hell that means.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

Thanks for your responses.

I haven't been able to respond properly because the OP was posted a bit prematurely.

I'm glad I got it out there anyway, as raggedy as it is, but I'm still thinking on this.

I think there's something I haven't quite articulated, but I can't quite wrangle it into words yet.