Horror notes #2: The New Scum

[Freeky]

Advertising generated on the place's behalf touting an "UNHAPPY Hour" focused on watching the Welfare denied, maybe?  Make it obvious and wave it udner everyone's nose.

Ohhh, that's good. I think you can get an ad placed for free in the AZ Dail Star... Gonna check that right now.

[AFK]

Okay, this would take a bit of organizing but here you go:

Someone who doesn't give-a-shit about ruffling feathers needs to head up this operation.

He/she gets a megaphone.  They round up a handful of the people leaving the welfare office.  Find out what they used to do for work, get a rudimentary list of skills. 

They walk the group up to the outside dining area and the PSA begins:

"Good evening gentlemen.  I bet some of you come from companies looking for employees right now, is that right?  Can I get a show of hands, how many of you are hiring right now?  Great.  Great.  Well, you're in luck, have I got a great bunch of hard working people right here for you.  How convenient is that?"

"Let's start with Jose here.  Jose used to work for ACME and Associates before his position was eliminated.  Jose is excellent at creating Access databases.  He is also trained and certified on the latest accounts-payable software.  He says he's ready to start tomorrow for just $25,000 a year with maybe a bit of medical thrown in.  Who wants to hire Jose?  You sir?"

I dunno, something like that.  I imagine the restaurant staff would try to put it to a stop quickly, but you might at least make a good scene and maybe get on the news. 

[Triple Zero]

I would suggest that some of the tapeworm fetish people pay this restaurant a visit.....  Eat, then sue for tapeworms?  The rumor mill alone would probably shut the place down as long as they aren't backed by "serious" money.

But it's not the restaurant, but its clientele that should be taught a lesson? Or is the restaurant itself also at fault here? I don't know how much influence they can exert on the reason people will visit them, do they?

I do like Richter and Iptuous's ideas, though.

[Doktor Howl]

I would suggest that some of the tapeworm fetish people pay this restaurant a visit.....  Eat, then sue for tapeworms?  The rumor mill alone would probably shut the place down as long as they aren't backed by "serious" money.

But it's not the restaurant, but its clientele that should be taught a lesson? Or is the restaurant itself also at fault here? I don't know how much influence they can exert on the reason people will visit them, do they?

I do like Richter and Iptuous's ideas, though.

THIS.  It is the heathen that need to be punished, not some slob running a bistro.

[Richter]

Okay, this would take a bit of organizing but here you go:

Someone who doesn't give-a-shit about ruffling feathers needs to head up this operation.

He/she gets a megaphone.  They round up a handful of the people leaving the welfare office.  Find out what they used to do for work, get a rudimentary list of skills. 

They walk the group up to the outside dining area and the PSA begins:

"Good evening gentlemen.  I bet some of you come from companies looking for employees right now, is that right?  Can I get a show of hands, how many of you are hiring right now?  Great.  Great.  Well, you're in luck, have I got a great bunch of hard working people right here for you.  How convenient is that?"

"Let's start with Jose here.  Jose used to work for ACME and Associates before his position was eliminated.  Jose is excellent at creating Access databases.  He is also trained and certified on the latest accounts-payable software.  He says he's ready to start tomorrow for just $25,000 a year with maybe a bit of medical thrown in.  Who wants to hire Jose?  You sir?"

I dunno, something like that.  I imagine the restaurant staff would try to put it to a stop quickly, but you might at least make a good scene and maybe get on the news. 

Sort of like the "1 minute resumes" they run on some newscasts, I like it.

Set up across the street from the restraunt too, less reason for them to tell the assembled to fuck off.

[AFK]

Maybe organize another group to set up a car-wash.  But after they are already in the restaurant eating. 

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

I have to think the owner is aware of what their clientele are doing.....  And if they aren't then someone needs to wake them up!

It is a shame the restaurant is expensive, otherwise, I would invite people to join me as they came out and then make fun of our fellow patrons and their "hip" clothes and "oh so cool" drinks and their assholeness....

[East Coast Hustle]

Well, it seems to me that putting a mirror up to their moral inadequacy seems like the best way to ruin their fun.

Set up a table and give away food to the people in line.  Of the same type that they serve at the restaurant.

Arroz, if not pollo, is very very very cheap. Just its kind of hard to learn how to not make it mushy like plaster.

the short answer is: "don't overcook it". Also, always saute the rice in some oil on medium-high heat with constant stirring for a few minutes until the grains start turning opaque before adding the liquid it's going to cook in. And always cook it at low heat, just high enough to maintain a simmer.

also, if the place serves Medalla beer, please swipe me a case or three before you get them shut down. I can't find that stuff anywhere in New England or the PNW.

[The Johnny]

the short answer is: "don't overcook it". Also, always saute the rice in some oil on medium-high heat with constant stirring for a few minutes until the grains start turning opaque before adding the liquid it's going to cook in. And always cook it at low heat, just high enough to maintain a simmer.

Oh i see, i guess fried brown rice aint so hard.

But most attempts ive seen by "green" people in the cooking department to make white rice by steam, have been shameful failures - although now that i think of it, in this restaurant they probably serve it fried anyhow.

[Michal]

(Into megaphone):

"ATTENTION! YOU ARE ALL A BUNCH OF TOOLS! THAT IS ALL!"

Also I have been known in the past to hang around rich neighborhoods for the express purpose of offending people with my scruffiness. Further, I like the idea of setting up a feed; ask permission from the welfare office or the comic shop to set up on their property. Restaurant can't do jack if it's not on their property, and the restaurant staff is only a paycheck or two away from being across the street as well and hates their clientele as much if not more than you do. Make sure there's a big sign: MENU: ARROZ CON POLLO.

Think... the restaurant staff every day gets talked over, ignored, stiffed on tips, and generally treated like ambulatory vending machines. Show me a full-time cook, cashier, server or busser, and I'll show you someone who at the end of their day wants to turn into Godzilla, breathe radioactive flame and destroy an entire city.

[MMIX]

Did this happen more than once or was it just a one-off douchefest? Might be worth checking to see you aren't wasting your wrath on the wrong target . . . and, if it is a regular thing, is it always the same people?

[Richter]

Buy a stack of gift certificates.  Hand them out to the welfare folks as they are leaving.  Make sure they're enough to cover a good few rounds of drinks.

[BadBeast]

Get a white environmental suit, and a protective D.I.Y mask, and one of those pump cylinder weed / roach killer sprays. Fill the cylinder up with liquified dogshit. When they start their 'sport', walk calmly up to the seating area, and spray the fuckers down with dogshit. Have a conveniently placed pushbike leaning up against a nearby wall for a quick getaway. Preferably with a sling arrangement on the saddle for the comfort of your huge bollocks.

[MMIX]

nuke the bastards

[Rumckle]

People have been saying that about Tucson for years but no-ones acted on it.