got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?

Started by -Kel-, July 27, 2010, 05:11:08 AM

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-Kel-

July 27, 2010, 05:11:08 AM Last Edit: July 27, 2010, 05:48:47 AM by -Kel-
Leo:

It's time to stop dressing like Strawberry Shortcake. It's creepy. A hairy guy like you should leave the pink dresses and striped tights at home! I know you got big laughs in the second grade 'n' all the girls wanted to sit by ya, but now the only girl who'll come near you is your shrink! Face it, it's not cute any more.

Edit: list a sign you'd like to read. :p

Jasper

#1
July 27, 2010, 05:48:22 AM
Okay normally I ignore the horoscopes but getting one from a real person sounds fun.

Scorpio!

-Kel-

#2
July 27, 2010, 05:50:34 AM
Quote from: Sigmatic on July 27, 2010, 05:48:22 AM
Okay normally I ignore the horoscopes but getting one from a real person sounds fun.

Scorpio!

Your doctor says your blood pressure is off the charts and you need to kick back. You go home and try desperately to kick your back - ending up with seven slipped discs. Man, you are sure going to get some quality down time now.

Jasper

#3
July 27, 2010, 05:53:42 AM
:mittens:

Nice.  :D

Nast

#4
July 27, 2010, 05:54:31 AM
What fun!

Virgo.
"If I owned Goodwill, no charity worker would feel safe.  I would sit in my office behind a massive pile of cocaine, racking my pistol's slide every time the cleaning lady came near.  Auditors, I'd just shoot."

Juana

#5
July 27, 2010, 05:57:50 AM
Pisces
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞

#6
July 27, 2010, 05:58:28 AM
Buttface
P E R   A S P E R A   A D   A S T R A

-Kel-

#7
July 27, 2010, 06:01:33 AM
Quote from: Nast on July 27, 2010, 05:54:31 AM
What fun!

Virgo.

You thought that girl down the street would be surprised by your little spur-of-the-moment visit. She was. You scared the pants off her! Literally! But fear not, that certain someone who pointed out that you had a booger on your shirt the other day has forgotten the whole incident.

-Kel-

#8
July 27, 2010, 06:02:18 AM
Quote from: Hover Cat on July 27, 2010, 05:57:50 AM
Pisces

Learn to live life to the fullest. Start with a big breakfast. But, hey, nobody lives forever, stop with the fiber already! Oh, and I see good financial news in your future - in about thirty or forty years!

-Kel-

#9
July 27, 2010, 06:04:21 AM

Rumckle

#10
July 27, 2010, 06:05:30 AM
Quote from: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 06:02:18 AM
Quote from: Hover Cat on July 27, 2010, 05:57:50 AM
Pisces

Learn to live life to the fullest. Start with a big breakfast. But, hey, nobody lives forever, stop with the fiber already! Oh, and I see good financial news in your future - in about thirty or forty years!

:lulz:

Fuck Yeah!
It's not trolling, it's just satire.

DiscoUkulele

#11
July 27, 2010, 06:08:18 AM
Taurus :)
You shouldn't let poets lie to you.
                                 - Bjork

Kurt Christ

#12
July 27, 2010, 06:10:49 AM
Quote from: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 05:11:08 AM
Leo:

It's time to stop dressing like Strawberry Shortcake. It's creepy. A hairy guy like you should leave the pink dresses and striped tights at home! I know you got big laughs in the second grade 'n' all the girls wanted to sit by ya, but now the only girl who'll come near you is your shrink! Face it, it's not cute any more.

Edit: list a sign you'd like to read. :p
I love this.
-Father Kurt Christ, Leo.
Formerly known as the Space Pope (then I was excommunicated), Father Kurt Christ (I was deemed unfit to raise children, spiritual or otherwise), and Vartox (the speedo was starting to chafe)

Iason Ouabache

#13
July 27, 2010, 06:20:16 AM
You cannot fathom the immensity of the fuck i do not give.
    \
┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘

tyrannosaurus vex

#14
July 27, 2010, 06:35:47 AM
SAGITTARIUS!
Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.
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