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This is a joke, right?

Started by Requia ☣, August 02, 2010, 01:06:10 AM

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Requia ☣

August 02, 2010, 01:06:10 AM
http://www.examiner.com/x-4908-Twilight-Examiner~y2009m4d2-Twilight-series-spawns-religion-Edward-Cullen-is-real-members-should-read-the-books-like-a-Bible

QuoteThese Cullenists believe "[j]ust like any other religion," that there is some spirituality to be had in the Twilight series, forming rules and principles upon which to base their tenets. Their creed, say the Cullenists, includes a base set of beliefs that "Edward and the rest of the Twilight characters are real," that "[t]he Twilight series should be worshipped," and that "f you are good in life, you will be bless[ed] with eternity with the Cullens."
Inflatable dolls are not recognized flotation devices.

Suu

Re:
#1
August 02, 2010, 01:12:39 AM
Help.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

-Kel-

#2
August 02, 2010, 01:24:53 AM
Mormon cults.......gggrrreeeeaaatttt

LaughingOtter

#3
August 02, 2010, 02:14:28 AM
Not too surprising. Look how long it took for the Avatards to form their own religion.
Religion sure makes people do some weird shit, eh? Even this one where you choose between necrophilia and bestiality.
Beer and Pinball, Dammit!

BabylonHoruv

#4
August 02, 2010, 02:16:53 AM
I bet Stephanie Meyers is PISSED.
You're a special case, Babylon.  You are offensive even when you don't post.

Merely by being alive, you make everyone just a little more miserable

-Dok Howl

Lies

#5
August 02, 2010, 04:52:16 AM
I know I didn't mention this anywhere, but I called it ages ago when twilight started taking off.
- So the New World Order does not actually exist?
- Oh it exists, and how!
Ask the slaves whose labour built the White House;
Ask the slaves of today tied down to sweatshops and brothels to escape hunger;
Ask most women, second class citizens, in a pervasive rape culture;
Ask the non-human creatures who inhabit the planet:
whales, bears, frogs, tuna, bees, slaughtered farm animals;
Ask the natives of the Americas and Australia on whose land
you live today, on whose graves your factories, farms and neighbourhoods stand;
ask any of them this, ask them if the New World Order is true;
they'll tell you plainly: the New World Order... is you!

BabylonHoruv

#6
August 02, 2010, 04:56:37 AM
I dunno, it sounds like a troll to me.
You're a special case, Babylon.  You are offensive even when you don't post.

Merely by being alive, you make everyone just a little more miserable

-Dok Howl

Pæs

#7
August 02, 2010, 04:59:02 AM
We have to hijack this and subtly feed them our memes dressed up as Cullenist thought. Discordianism 3.0. It's a joke disguised as a religion disguised as a religion worshiping a movie (which might be a joke).
Or something.

Lies

#8
August 02, 2010, 05:05:02 AM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on August 02, 2010, 04:56:37 AM
I dunno, it sounds like a troll to me.
No, trust me, I *know* a few twihards, this is no joke to them.
And if you even suggest that it is, they will destroy you.
- So the New World Order does not actually exist?
- Oh it exists, and how!
Ask the slaves whose labour built the White House;
Ask the slaves of today tied down to sweatshops and brothels to escape hunger;
Ask most women, second class citizens, in a pervasive rape culture;
Ask the non-human creatures who inhabit the planet:
whales, bears, frogs, tuna, bees, slaughtered farm animals;
Ask the natives of the Americas and Australia on whose land
you live today, on whose graves your factories, farms and neighbourhoods stand;
ask any of them this, ask them if the New World Order is true;
they'll tell you plainly: the New World Order... is you!

Lies

#9
August 02, 2010, 05:05:41 AM
For the record, one of my best friends is marrying one.   :x
- So the New World Order does not actually exist?
- Oh it exists, and how!
Ask the slaves whose labour built the White House;
Ask the slaves of today tied down to sweatshops and brothels to escape hunger;
Ask most women, second class citizens, in a pervasive rape culture;
Ask the non-human creatures who inhabit the planet:
whales, bears, frogs, tuna, bees, slaughtered farm animals;
Ask the natives of the Americas and Australia on whose land
you live today, on whose graves your factories, farms and neighbourhoods stand;
ask any of them this, ask them if the New World Order is true;
they'll tell you plainly: the New World Order... is you!

Rumckle

#10
August 02, 2010, 05:07:09 AM
Please tell me they are having a twilight themed wedding.
It's not trolling, it's just satire.

Lies

#11
August 02, 2010, 05:12:03 AM
Quote from: Rumckle on August 02, 2010, 05:07:09 AM
Please tell me they are having a twilight themed wedding.
I think it's going to be a pretty "Normal" wedding, fortunately(?) she's not *that* twihard. But she is pretty twihard.
- So the New World Order does not actually exist?
- Oh it exists, and how!
Ask the slaves whose labour built the White House;
Ask the slaves of today tied down to sweatshops and brothels to escape hunger;
Ask most women, second class citizens, in a pervasive rape culture;
Ask the non-human creatures who inhabit the planet:
whales, bears, frogs, tuna, bees, slaughtered farm animals;
Ask the natives of the Americas and Australia on whose land
you live today, on whose graves your factories, farms and neighbourhoods stand;
ask any of them this, ask them if the New World Order is true;
they'll tell you plainly: the New World Order... is you!

Lies

#12
August 02, 2010, 05:24:54 AM
So, spot what's wrong with this picture:

- So the New World Order does not actually exist?
- Oh it exists, and how!
Ask the slaves whose labour built the White House;
Ask the slaves of today tied down to sweatshops and brothels to escape hunger;
Ask most women, second class citizens, in a pervasive rape culture;
Ask the non-human creatures who inhabit the planet:
whales, bears, frogs, tuna, bees, slaughtered farm animals;
Ask the natives of the Americas and Australia on whose land
you live today, on whose graves your factories, farms and neighbourhoods stand;
ask any of them this, ask them if the New World Order is true;
they'll tell you plainly: the New World Order... is you!

Pæs

#13
August 02, 2010, 05:25:34 AM
 :lol:

Pæs

#14
August 02, 2010, 05:39:04 AM
Some of the posts in that forum are great.

QuoteNo. No. No. No. Religion is not a joke. Not ever. If you think you can be a Cullenist or whatever and a Christian at the same time, you are dead wrong.

:sad:
FZ, doin' it wrong.
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