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TESTEMONAIL:  Right and Discordianism allows room for personal interpretation. You have your theories and I have mine. Unlike Christianity, Discordia allows room for ideas and opinions, and mine is well-informed and based on ancient philosophy and theology, so, my neo-Discordian friends, open your minds to my interpretation and I will open my mind to yours. That's fair enough, right? Just claiming to be discordian should mean that your mind is open and willing to learn and share ideas. You guys are fucking bashing me and your laughing at my theologies and my friends know what's up and are laughing at you and honestly this is my last shot at putting a label on my belief structure and your making me lose all hope of ever finding a ideological group I can relate to because you don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about and everything I have said is based on the founding principals of real Discordianism. Expand your mind.

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Utopianism: Swimming for the Angler Fish

Started by President Television, July 21, 2010, 09:54:11 PM

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President Television

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. It's tiny, and sometimes it's hard to see it, but it's there. Down here, where the sun gave up 500 feet ago, there's still a little speck in the darkness. You've seen it before. It was a friendly speck. It danced around in the water, and it told you things. It spoke of a perfect world, a place where everyone's equal, healthy and wealthy, and the people in charge really do care. It spoke of a world of contentment; of symmetry, beauty, and no crime. No problems.

What do they do with the problems? Dr. Israel knows. He takes the problems and locks them up in bedrooms that could better be described as cells. He straps them to machines and shocks them until they learn to keep their mouths shut. The Colonel knew. He got his problem to sign a contract for 33 films. By the end of it, there was no spirit left in the boy. Hitler knew. He took the problems and worked them to death. The ones that survived got sent to the showers and doused in Zyklon B. Insecticide.

You've got to know where to bury your problems. You have to make sure it's nice and deep. If you can't manage that, you've got to curse the site. The idea is to scare off grave robbers. Let enough of those types parade the limp, festering corpse around, and maybe it'll come back to life. And you don't want that. So keep them away from the body. Distract them with music and television and fashion. Distract them with cars and sex but don't let them have any fun with them. Fun makes a mess. That's a new problem, and you don't want any more of those.

Maybe you listened to the light. Or maybe you noticed the jaws behind it.
My shit list: Stephen Harper, anarchists that complain about taxes instead of institutionalized torture, those people walking, anyone who lets a single aspect of themselves define their entire personality, salesmen that don't smoke pipes, Fredericton New Brunswick, bigots, philosophy majors, my nemesis, pirates that don't do anything, criminals without class, sociopaths, narcissists, furries, juggalos, foes.

the last yatto

Look, asshole:  Your 'incomprehensible' act, your word-salad, your pinealism...It BORES ME.  I've been incomprehensible for so long, I TEACH IT TO MBA CANDIDATES.  So if you simply MUST talk about your pineal gland or happy children dancing in the wildflowers, go talk to Roger, because he digs that kind of shit

Epimetheus

Creepy, Unq.
The angler fish is a powerful spirit indeed.
POST-SINGULARITY POCKET ORGASM TOAD OF RIGHTEOUSNESS