Part Three: Power“So let me get this straight,” Kanye paused to finish the last bite of his steak. “Everything in the Universe is an Eye experiencing the Universe, and the Eyes could also be the Universe itself?”
“Mmm-hmm.”
“And the Eyes are evolving through higher and higher levels of Awareness, and the next level of Awareness is on the other side of the Tower of Babel?”
“That's right.”
“And... Twitter is the Key to the Tower of Babel?”
“Exactly,” she patted her lips with a Wet Nap. “So what's the problem?”
“That doesn't make any sense. Evolution is relying on Twitter? A website that some neckbeard basement-dweller made up?”
“Well, not really.” She reclined back in her chair and clasped her hands on her solar plexus. “There's lots of other keys. Kundalini yoga, meditation, prayer, LSD... there's lots of ways that individual people can enter the Tower. But it won't work unless most of Mankind goes in. Man has tried to do mass entrances through different religions, but those always seem to just cause conflict or lock people even deeper into their Eye thoughts. But with Twitter, you can easily link most of Man's individual sparks of consciousness into one mass network. Then, with a little conscious intention, you could send out a meme to nudge the whole network into the right direction. Just look at flashmobs. Send out a message to a bunch of people to do something silly, convince them it'll be fun, and they'll do it.”
“So, what? You just make up a joke, get enough people to laugh and pass it on, and we'll evolve?”
She rolled her eyes. “No, no. You've got to convince people to wake up. Send out a message to make them realize they're just little dreaming Eyes. I think that should do the trick. Get most of the people on the Network to believe it, and you're good. Besides, by my calculations, it shouldn't take too much more time.”
“What do you mean?”
“Have you ever heard of the 100th monkey? See, apparently, a bunch of moneys on this island got the idea to eat their food one certain way. As soon as the 100th monkey learned how to eat that way, there was a total shift in the collective monkey consciousness so that all of the monkeys started eating that way. When enough people become aware, strange shit happens. Maybe if just enough people woke up, the entire balance would shift and everyone would suddenly become self-aware. Then the Tower of Babel would open up.”
“But what happens then?”
“I don't remember.” She frowned.
“You don't remember? What's that supposed to mean?”
“Well,” she shifted in her seat, “The Universe is bubbling with infinite possibilities, wouldn't you agree? So who's to say we haven't been through this before? Maybe the Universe has expanded from that little particle, become aware of itself, and then collapsed back into the particle an infinite number of times already. I'd say, if we're dealing with infinite possibilities, then at some point, it's got to be true. We've been through all of this before, and any day now, we'll all reach the breaking point of self-awareness, and crumble back to the start again. Who knows, maybe you're the 100th Man. If you become self-aware, maybe that could be the tipping point.”
“This is really tripping me out...” He signaled for the flight attendant and ordered another scotch. “...How would I become self-aware, if I wanted to?”
She smiled, reached below her seat, fumbled with her bag, and pull out a stack of papers. “Maybe Twitter's process of causing mass self-awareness has already started. Maybe you're the only person holding the process back. You've seen these, right? #kanyenewyorkertweets? Members of Twitter have been pasting your tweets onto cartoons from the New Yorker”
He laughed. “Oh yeah, shit's funny.”
“Yes,” she began, “Shit is funny. But you're not in on the joke. Not really.”
Kanye arched a brow.
“You see, they're laughing at you. The entire Twitterverse is laughing at you”
His eyes flashed as he snapped his body around to face her. “Excuse me? What the fuck!?”
She giggled lightheartedly. “The joke's on you. And once you realize that the joke is on you, that's it.”
His eyes were wild, “What the fuck, who are you with? TMZ?”
She laughed again. “The entire universe is laughing at you. The entire universe is laughing at itself. Once you realize that the joke's on you, you can finally be aware of the joke and laugh with us. Maybe Twitter consciously produced this meme just for you, just to cause you to become self-aware and tip the scale towards enlightenment.”
Kanye fell silent and seeped in his rage until he finally responded, “Okay, so, I've listened to your entire rambling sermon. And you're telling me that the minute I realize that the world is laughing at me, or that the entire universe is laughing at itself, including me, I'll attain self-awareness, and possibly cause the world to collapse on itself?”
“That about sums it up, Darling.”
“I've got to piss.”
He stood up, crawled over her, and made his way down the aisle to the bathroom. He locked the door behind him, and splashed some water on his face.
What if that bitch was right? What if the entire Universe existed only because of he was aware of it? What if it existed only in his own mind? What if his whole life was a complete joke and he was the only person who didn't realize it?
Then, without warning, he snickered.
“The joke's on me.”
He looked up into the mirror. His reflection revealed a glittering, toothy smile.
“The joke's on me.”
His snickering grew louder, and more intense. He let loose and broke down into a fit of maniacal laughter. “The joke's...” he could barely breathe, “on me.”
Kanye lost his shit.
And the Universe lost its shit. Right there, in the bathroom, at 14,000 feet.
