Mangrove, The Man, The Legend, The Deep-Tissue Manipulator

[AFK]

Mangrove is a regular renaissance man boasting many talents, accolades, and polystyrene noses. 

Mangrove was once the feature of a five-week documentary series on the mating rituals and migration patterns of the Wild Borneo Scrid, narrated by David Attenborough.  It almost didn't happen as Attenborough went all diva and demanded a bigger trailer.  However, Mangrove deftly massaged the situation and all was well.

Mangrove fended off an attempt by Lulzsec to infiltrate the SSOOKN interweb compound.  He did so by barraging them with endless torrents of Nelson, Firehouse, and Trixter albums. 

Mangrove conducted a sell-out city-to-city tour with Shock G. of Digital Underground.  The name of the tour was "Hear No Evil, Nose No Evil" 

Mangrove has given hope to all men with gigantic schnozes everywhere. 

Mangrove was briefly being considered by President George W. Bush to become the U.S. Ambassador to Lichtenstein.  Unfortunately, GWB's spell-check was down so Mangrove ended up being sent to Chad. 

Mangrove, one day at a day-long SSOOKN strategic planning retreat, went into a 20 minute sneezing fit and accidentally a whole pineapple. 

One day Mangrove walked into a bar.  Luckily he was carrying his spare duck. 

Mangrove's closets are all Rated R because they contain graphic sax and violins. 

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Whats he been up to lately? I dont think ive seen him around in a bout a year or so.

[AFK]

Up to no good, I would assume.   

[Cainad (dec.)]

Mangrove would have you believe that he is merely a physical therapist, and thus his manipulations of deep tissue are purely therapeutic, but the truth is far more sinister silly.

Mangrove has mastered the art of post-hypnotic muscular suggestion, and after a few sessions his patients find that they are unable to stop themselves from bopping to the beat of music they'd never cared for before.

The technique isn't yet perfected, as evidenced by one 47-year-old Mr. William Bungleford, who performed a complete but very bizzare Salsa routine to the rhythm of department store muzak. Still, Mangrove refuses to reveal details of what exactly he plans to do with a sleeper army of musically-controlled dance puppets.

We may never know, until it's too late.

[AFK]

Little known fact:  Mangrove moonlights as an Elvis impersonator. 
Littler known fact: Mangrove also moonlights as an Elvira impersonator

[Mangrove]

Mangrove is a regular renaissance man boasting many talents, accolades, and polystyrene noses. 

Mangrove was once the feature of a five-week documentary series on the mating rituals and migration patterns of the Wild Borneo Scrid, narrated by David Attenborough.  It almost didn't happen as Attenborough went all diva and demanded a bigger trailer.  However, Mangrove deftly massaged the situation and all was well.

Mangrove fended off an attempt by Lulzsec to infiltrate the SSOOKN interweb compound.  He did so by barraging them with endless torrents of Nelson, Firehouse, and Trixter albums. 

Mangrove conducted a sell-out city-to-city tour with Shock G. of Digital Underground.  The name of the tour was "Hear No Evil, Nose No Evil" 

Mangrove has given hope to all men with gigantic schnozes everywhere. 

Mangrove was briefly being considered by President George W. Bush to become the U.S. Ambassador to Lichtenstein.  Unfortunately, GWB's spell-check was down so Mangrove ended up being sent to Chad. 

Mangrove, one day at a day-long SSOOKN strategic planning retreat, went into a 20 minute sneezing fit and accidentally a whole pineapple. 

One day Mangrove walked into a bar.  Luckily he was carrying his spare duck. 

Mangrove's closets are all Rated R because they contain graphic sax and violins.

Why, thank you!! Most of the above (and below) charges are largely true.

1) David Attenborough. Great at voice overs, not so great in poker games. The 'diva' qualities run in the family. (cf: Sir Richard Attenborough.)

2) There have been many attempts on the [ahem] 'astral fortress' that is SSOOKNHQ. I find that there's few things more effective at banishing unwanted entities (physical or metaphysical) than the first Poison album. All that pentagram drawing stuff is a pain in the ass. Just let people see an androgynous Brett Michaels in full make up and hear his godawful voice and BOOM, you are alone.

3) Me and G Shock go way back. It was me who got him into the rap game. I said "Dude, if you're going to have a nose that big, you're going to need some skill to back it up. I suggest you get into polka music right away." Well, he auditioned at one of the local Polish clubs and delivered an epically terrible audition piece. Turns out that reggae cover versions on the accordion really aren't as cool as you might think. So, he went next door where someone was holding an MC battle. He did much better over there.

4) NOSE POWER BABY!

5) Ahh yes, that brief 15 seconds of fame when I worked for the Bush administration. Less said, the better.

6) 'Strategic Planning Event' is what I had the press officer tell the media (and police). As for what was really going on...well.....yeah....(see 5 above).

7) Anyone who goes bar hopping without a spare duck get all they deserve if you ask me.

Owing to the enormity of my polystyrene proboscis, I have figured out how to play the guitar and the saxophone at the same time. Think of it a cross between  Eddie Van Halen, Roland Kirk and Barry Manilow. (Which, by the way, is the kind of thing that keeps LMNO up at night in a frenzy of eroto-comotose-lucidty.)

[Mangrove]

Mangrove would have you believe that he is merely a physical therapist, and thus his manipulations of deep tissue are purely therapeutic, but the truth is far more sinister silly.

Mangrove has mastered the art of post-hypnotic muscular suggestion, and after a few sessions his patients find that they are unable to stop themselves from bopping to the beat of music they'd never cared for before.

The technique isn't yet perfected, as evidenced by one 47-year-old Mr. William Bungleford, who performed a complete but very bizzare Salsa routine to the rhythm of department store muzak. Still, Mangrove refuses to reveal details of what exactly he plans to do with a sleeper army of musically-controlled dance puppets.

We may never know, until it's too late.

More true than you realize.