Modern Mythological Creatures

[Cramulus]

THREAD UPDATE: PDF HERE: http://www.scribd.com/doc/43898347/Modern-Mythologial-Creatures



The Keynog - a small goblin who lives inside your keyboard. If you have a sticky key, it is because a keynog has taken up residence beneath it.



deLuke - an invisible elfin spirit who steals the temperature from your drinks. If you've ever taken a sip of coffee and been disgusted by how cold its gotten, it's likely that a deLuke got to it. deLukes also warm up cold drinks and make chinese food all gummy when you reheat it.


Trance Thief - The Trance Thief is a fae trickster who works for the unseelie court. You know how your computer's spare CPU cycles can be used to crowdsource larger tasks, such as SETI@Home? The Trance Thief uses your brain's spare processing power to solve unseelie problems. When you're spaced out and staring at porn, farmville, or world of warcraft, the Trance Thief can utilize your brain power for evil.


Huzzer - The Huzzer is a tiny creature which looks like a hummingbird made of goo. It crosses back and forth between the dream world and the waking world, stealing little things from the real world to build its nest. It crosses from plane to plane through your cell phone. That "phantom vibration" thing you sometimes feel, when your cell phone didn't go off but you reached for it anyway, that's a Huzzer. After this happens, check your pockets - there's a good chance a Huzzer has taken some change, a paperclip, a crumpled up receipt, any little thing it can use to make its nest. If you're good at navigating the Dream World, you should be able to find the nest and stuff you're missing.


Bogard - (also known as a Bonglin) Bogards are small, wretched goblins who live inside of foul bong water. Their diet consists of little weed scraplings. They will take a little bit of yours every day until you get rid of them. Usually, cleaning up and changing your water will do the trick. Bogards are also drawn to poor smoking etiquette.


Annanavi - when your GPS talks to you, you are hearing an Annanavi. Typically, the Annanavi is a helpful monster. But if you shout at your GPS too much, or dont follow its instructions, the Annanavi gets annoyed. It will reprogram your GPS to lead you into places you don't want to go. Annanavi are also curious creatures, interested in checking out places you otherwise might not ever visit. They think they are doing you a favor!

[The Wizard]

Interesting. Postmodern mythological beasts. Do you have any more, cause this is rather cool.

[Prince Glittersnatch III]

Slenderman - Not much is known about this mysterious and terrifying creature. He has often been connected to fires, missing children,
and Something Awful Goons. If you ever encounter Slenderman do not panic, just remember these simple rules:

-No Wifin in da Club: Wifin in da club inspires homicidal rage in Slenderman. Avoid it at all costs.

-Gimme 20 Dollas: The only known way to drive away the dark and powerful force of Slenderman is to give him $20(What he does with this $20 is unknown)

[Cramulus]

Wraith Cloud - these gigantic creatures are the ghosts of clouds. They look exactly like regular clouds, but they are not. In fact, they scare the shit out of normal clouds.

Pyrrot - The Pyrrot (pronounced "pie rit") loves music, especially catchy pop anthems and addictive commercial jingles. When it hears a particularly catchy tune, it memorizes it. Later, it'll keep singing one part of that tune over and over again. Pyrrots live on your shoulder, probably because that's where they hear the best music. They have no respect for intellectual property.

Liberchaun - A Liberchaun is a cousin of the Leprechaun. Liberchauns are also diminutive Irish characters who guard fabulous prizes. But they don't live at the end of rainbows, they live at the end of unread books. They prefer books which are very boring, or which have been purchased but never read. In order to find a Liberchaun's treasure, you have to read the entire book before it has a chance to move out. They also tend to like old Irish novels. The largest Liberchaun family dwells specifically inside works by James Joyce.




edit:spelling

[Kurt Christ]

Slenderman - Not much is known about this mysterious and terrifying creature. He has often been connected to fires, missing children,
and Something Awful Goons. If you ever encounter Slenderman do not panic, just remember these simple rules:

-No Wifin in da Club: Wifin in da club inspires homicidal rage in Slenderman. Avoid it at all costs.

-Gimme 20 Dollas: The only known way to drive away the dark and powerful force of Slenderman is to give him $20(What he does with this $20 is unknown)

I loved the Marble Hornets videos, especially when I was in an environment and state of mind conducive to paranoia.

[Doktor Howl]

The Upside Down People:  The upside down people are the ones who walk down the bottom side of the stair risers while you walk up on the top side.  They seem drawn to Holy Men™ and Doktors, particularly those experimenting with or religiously chewing on cactus.  At night, they suck the goo out of your sink trap for their sustenance.  They are not to be trusted, as they seem to be in league with the Welsh.

[Prince Glittersnatch III]

Slenderman - Not much is known about this mysterious and terrifying creature. He has often been connected to fires, missing children,
and Something Awful Goons. If you ever encounter Slenderman do not panic, just remember these simple rules:

-No Wifin in da Club: Wifin in da club inspires homicidal rage in Slenderman. Avoid it at all costs.

-Gimme 20 Dollas: The only known way to drive away the dark and powerful force of Slenderman is to give him $20(What he does with this $20 is unknown)

I loved the Marble Hornets videos, especially when I was in an environment and state of mind conducive to paranoia.

I live in the middle of the woods completely surrounded by trees. If I look hard enough at night EVERY SINGLE TREE LOOKS LIKE SLENDERMAN. Im surrounded by an army of slendermen and I only have $40!!!

[Adios]

THOSE PEOPLE, They are invisible and there are unsubstianted reports they try to steal all of your illearned assets. On the rare occasions they are visible they can be identified by their smudgy skin color. Many natives are terrified of them, but this is due to ignorance.

[DiscoUkulele]

The Butty- Formless entities that hide in social networking websites, often posing as long-lost acquaintances or friends-of-friends-of-friends. They'll ask to be your friend, and you may choose to leave them wandering the abyss of Facebook Purgatory for the rest of eternity. Unless you accept their request. If you accept their request, they feel obligated to comment on everything you do. Particularly nasty Butties will bombard you with requests to help them work on their farms.

[The Wizard]

Dottit-Tiny goblins with a natural chameleon-like talent for blending in with ugly carpets and wallpaper. They have an innate hatred for bureaucracy and do their best to harass bureaucrats  by stealing forms and other acts of mischief. They are the reason HR and DMV workers are so irritable. Unfortunately, they also steal other people's forms, which forces them to fill out the paperwork all over again. Can be placated by harassing bureaucrats.

[Adios]

TWOKEY- a NASTY LITTLE THING THAT LIVES IN YOUR KEYBOASR AND CAUSES AN UNMINTENDED KEYSTROKE FROM THE NEIGHBNORING KEY TO APPEAR. tHERE IS NO CURE.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

Thotchuwur - A psychic shape shifting creature that is able to assume the exact appearance of the back side of someone you know. Draws energy from awkward moments.

[Cramulus]

TWOKEY- a NASTY LITTLE THING THAT LIVES IN YOUR KEYBOASR AND CAUSES AN UNMINTENDED KEYSTROKE FROM THE NEIGHBNORING KEY TO APPEAR. tHERE IS NO CURE.

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PISS OFF A KEYNOG





OR YOUR FINGERS ARE TOO FAT

[Richter]

The Bi-Cycler - The child of prankster spirits and club goers.  It will appear at parties, bars, or other events, and display a freely swinging sexual orientation to get attention.  It pursues this like a sport.

The Drama Llama - North America cousin of the noble Peruvian Llama.  The DL is a creature so perfectly adapted to human civilzation and company, that it is rarely sighted (or often sighted but rarely recognized).  True to it's llama instincts, it prefers to feed off the ground, and will spit in people's ears to annoy them into throwing drink, dropping food, or tripping to provide for itself and it's llamalings.  It is untrackable by hoofprints, since it leaves dust everywhere as a defense mechanism, and leaves no spoor since it uses human toilets (as well as usuing all the toilet paper and leaving the empty roll.)

[DiscoUkulele]

Thotchuwur - A psychic shape shifting creature that is able to assume the exact appearance of the back side of someone you know. Draws energy from awkward moments.

Fuckin assholes particularly enjoy tormenting those of us with visual impairments, too.