Modern Mythological Creatures

[Rumckle]

Chronaxe - Chronaxes are mischievous imps who enjoy playing around with clocks. Their favourite trick is to turn the clocks in your house back ten minutes when you need to be somewhere, resulting in you turning up late. They also play around with alarms in the middle of the night, turning them off or on, and changing alarm time.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

Sock Smeagol - Everyone has had run-ins with this thieving little demons who hide inside dryers and steal socks and other articles of clothing. But sometimes they sneak out in the middle of the night to play, swinging around on clothes hanging in closets, rearranging them, dragging random objects from around your house and putting them under sofa cushions and the like. One of their favorite games is to wait until there's only one pair of socks or boxers left in your drawer, and then steal them.

[Cuddlefish]

Dude, I got that feeling like my phone was vibrating in my pocket today, and I was all like "fuckin' huzzer in my pocket," and all my frieds were like "WTF?"

This topic rocks.

[bds]

Nightwoofah - A parasite that attaches itself to what we know as a modern day dog, this creature makes its nest in the brain and vocal cords of its host. It lies dormant throughout daylight hours, but when the sun goes down it awakes and begins forcing the dog-host to bark loudly and for no reason. It makes its host continue barking for as long as possible, feeding off the soundwaves it creates. Once they have found a satisfactory host, Nightwoofah's have been to known to inhabit the same dog for weeks on end.


- These posts remind me somewhat of the D&D Monster Manuals - perhaps we could use some kind of a play on those as a guide for the guidebook?

[Apikoros II]

BoogerErt-- This wee beastie hides in your nose, mimicking a dry piece of mucus, but no matter how much or how hard you blow, the tissue will remain clear. It is known to react by withdrawing further into the nasal cavity with the insertion of any probing instrument, especially a rolled up tissue or a pinky fingertip. Then, once the instrument is withdrawn it comes back to haunt you with it's ghostly tingle.

It's relative is the:

Desert BoogErt This finicky little mischievous imp is always visible unlike his hidden cousin. It likes to show itself on your tie, on your shirt, or right under your nose when you didn't even have any nasal congestion at all. It feeds and always grows larger on the energy emanations given off by first dates, job interviews and the in-laws.

[Cramulus]

Sock Smeagol - Everyone has had run-ins with this thieving little demons who hide inside dryers and steal socks and other articles of clothing. But sometimes they sneak out in the middle of the night to play, swinging around on clothes hanging in closets, rearranging them, dragging random objects from around your house and putting them under sofa cushions and the like. One of their favorite games is to wait until there's only one pair of socks or boxers left in your drawer, and then steal them.

these little fuckers hit me this morning!  

[Cuddlefish]

Coolins - Coolins are small creatures with an extremely low body temperature. They live in your freezer and feed on microwaveable and other frozen foods. They will often build nests at the center of a food item and feed on it from the center out. Because of their extremely low body temperature, when the food that they inhabit is microwaved or cooked, the center will remain frozen, even if the surface is scalding hot. Often, Coolins are found living next to a deLuke, as the deLuke's ability to steal temperature provides the Coolins with a satisfactory cold environment.

[Cuddlefish]

Static Clingons - Static Clingons live in clothes dryers and hampers, and consider themselves to be modern artists. They find beauty in adjoining two relatively unrelated items, and feel as if they are making some form of social commentary by doing so (though, if you asked one to explain the meaning, they will just tell you that you wouldn't understand). They are responsible for that sock stuck to the back of your shirt that you don't notice until you're out at a social gathering. Particularly malicious, evil aligned Static Clingons will attach women's underwear to any one of your garments when you're on your way to your girlfriends, parents or grandparents house. Static Clingons are closely related to Sock Smeagols.


(An aside, the spell check attempted to change "Clingon" to "Klingon." Odd.)

[Cuddlefish]

The Narcolepsy Fairy - The Narcolepsy Fairy is the Sandman's not so nice brother. Instead of bestowing the weary with some much needed sleep at night, the Narcolepsy Fairy will induce sleep in people at very inopportune times, such as during an important class lecture, during a movie that you really wanted to see, or while driving. The Narcolepsy Fairy is also responsible for oversleeping on an important day. When attempting to make someone oversleep, the Narcolepsy Fairy will often employ one or more Chronaxe to disable alarms. It is not sure why the Narcolepsy Fairy does what he does, as, generally, he's a pretty cool guy, but some people believe that a falling out with his brother, the Sandman, lead him to become overly competitive in the field of sleep inducement.

[Cuddlefish]

Beer Elemental - A Beer Elemental appears as a seemingly normal glass of beer. If a Beer Elemental is consumed, it will temporarily posses the drinker, causing raucous behaviour and black-out-drunkeness. Any events experienced when possesed by a Beer Elemental will most likely be forgotton the next day. If you have experienced black-out-drunkeness on an evening when you've only had one or two beers, then, more likely than not, a Beer Elemental is to blame. Beer Elementals are normally passive creatures, and only cause trouble when consumed.  Beer Elementals are also often the cause of "Beer-Balls." Beer Elementals in their natural state can do very littleon their own, so when a particularly fidgety Beer Elemental wants to exert itself, "beer balls" is usually the result.

[Triple Zero]

I'm pretty sure some D&D related fanpage somewhere will have the stats written down for a Beer Elemental

[Apikoros II]

Nikodemon, Greater Nikodemon and their mortal enemy, though they are closely linked, is the Nikobutter

The Nikodemon is usually inhaled via a cigarette. In fact, Nikodemon's lay dormant in cigarettes until the fire awakens them. During the initial period they are quiet and only make their desires known if they go too long without being fed their nicotine dose at the expected time. The sweats given off while trying to quit smoking will morph the Nikodemon into a Greater Nikodemon, much like what happens when you get a Mogwai wet. Even though the person may be 100% nicotine free, the Greater Nikodemon constantly desires more nicotine infecting their hosts with cigarette cravings, dreams involving smoking and the urge to return to the days when you could still smoke in bars. He will often accept offerings of nicotine gum but these individual sacrafices are never quite enough to tame his demands for more cigarettes. He lives initially in the lungs and during his life slowly migrates to the brain. Once he becomes affiliated with someone their is no way to ever fully get him out of the host

The Nikobutter is related to both the Nikodemon and nMYOB. The Nikobutter always lives in the Anus and causes extreme reactions to any second hand smoke experienced by their host. This will cause the host to excessively wave their hands in the presence of second hand smoke, raise their voices, unnoticed to the speaker, when making comments about smoking, and cause the hosts face to maintain an ugly rigor they will maintain while in the smoke vicinity. It also increases the hosts ability to pick up the scent of any smoke, from hotel rooms to the clothes worn to a Phish concert, even if the smoking happened decades ago.

Ironically, they have often been known to inhabit the same host, which can lead to all sorts of problems

[Cuddlefish]

Excess Devil - The Excess Devil is by no means a natural creature. The first Excess Devil was created by the secret order of corporate wizards employed by a certain tobacco company, using the genetic code of deceased Nikodemons, to induce chainsmoking. Excess devils are made to die. When one is consumed and killed, it releases pheromones that induce the consumer into lighting up another cigarette, which, in turn, contains another Excess Devil. The Tobacco type Excess Devil paved the way for many other types of excess devils, such as the Fast Food type Excess Devil, and the High Fructose Corn Syrup type Excess Devil. In fact, in the few short years since it's creation, the Excess Devil has been re-engineered by most, if not all, corporations. An Excess Devil is particularly dangerous when in the company of a Beer Elemental.

[Cainad (dec.)]

Kovergnaw - The Kovergnaw is a quiet, nearly-harmless little creature that resembles a gecko with a comically large mouth. It lives in bookshelves and occasionally in book bags and purses, and it feeds on book covers. Not the whole cover, mind you, just the edges and corners. They have a difficult time digesting hard covers and tend to avoid them, but chances are your paperback books have been ravaged by one of these creatures. No matter how gentle and cautious you think you are with your paperbacks, or even if you leave them untouched on the shelf in pristine condition, you'll pick them up one day to find that the corners of the cover are peeling apart, not damaging the integrity of the binding (usually) but utterly screwing up the aesthetics and your ability to claim "Good" condition when you sell it used on Amazon.com.

[Kurt Christ]

I'm pretty sure some D&D related fanpage somewhere will have the stats written down for a Beer Elemental

I'm pretty sure I saw stats for an ale golem on /tg/ at one point.