I've come to a rather unusual place in my internal undoings. Though I must admit its seems quite familiar in a de ja vu/ lucid dream type way but Im awake.
I don't really ever seem to experience fear anymore. I mean I get the natural impulse's not to touch hot shit and apply pressure to the brakes in my car as needed.
But I cannot see myself being afraid of anything.
Ill run down a short list.
FEAR:
Disease------ no cause Ill just die eventually and it won't really be all that bad anyway since it will eventually end.
A world wide corporate fascist state taking over and herding us into death camps etc,etc,etc. Were all familiar with these types of scenarios Im sure".------ Na doesn't bother me, It'd give me a chance to act out on my Mad Max beyond thunder dome fantasies.
Death of family friend or beloved pets------- Na I mean I love them and all but na not afraid just a slightly disappointed acceptance.
Afraid of the fukushima world wide radio active rain,tsunamis,earthquakes,asteroids, hurricanes. Na Im pretty sure I don't mind such things at all The world does need to rinse itself off once in a while.
Dont get me wrong If I see people or animals who are hurt or need help I'll be the first one there. But I really just can't get riled up about the impermanence of well being.
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LOATHING- I can see in remnants of what I used to have loathsome feelings towards in the past like George Bush,Obama,the drug war or any other war,Basically any machination or representative of the state or religion.
Loathsome of shitty music ,movies,tv shows, etc etc etc. Its all a divine comedy expertly designed and carried out for a pretty spectacularly ironic audience.
I just don't feel loathing for anything anymore. Other than the initial kneejerk dying out of old reaction patterns to such stimuli. I remember that its all 1 infinite presence playing discordian type jokes with perceptions that same 1 infinite presence gave fruit of in the first place.
Like its playing peekaboo with itself and having jab fests with itself in a divine ass puppet show for its own amusement.
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Horror- As I'm thinking about this right now it stands to reason that If I cannot really muster the imagination to feel fear or loathing at this point what could ever foreseeably ever happen for me to feel genuine horror?
I'm drawing a blank.
On a sidenote I found out that the guys from MST3K have a new project called RiffTrax. Im sure some of you knew this already I just thought I'd throw it out there
http://www.rifftrax.com/
