Constructing Subjects

[Adios]

Oh, shit. Yeah.

My bad.

EB&G confuses me often in this way. It's like those houses where if you go to your neighbours place it's exactly the same as yours but a mirror image.

Which is fun, if you have any blind friends.

[Kai]

Good morning!  And welcome to this advanced institution!  I'll be your educational administrator this year.   

My name is Mrs. Abutface, and I'm well-known for my accelerated students' ability to achieve their optimum output, as they always acquire more awards than their peers.  Pay attention, because I'll be accompanying you on your adventure to be the best candidate for any job you choose to aim for in life.

This year, we'll be building up your transferable skills!  All you have to do is be brave, develop some time-budgeting abilities, and we'll do the rest as a team!  But before we begin this business, ask yourself, what can I do that will boost my best self-image in the eyes of my future bosses?

Well, as a class, we're going to create something that will showcase your future career personality by consolidating your accomplishments.  This project is the easiest way to communicate your worth as a worker, and you can continue to compile it your whole life!  It's called My First Portfolio.

What do we display in our portfolios?  Everything!  If you babysit and can get a thank-you note, that document goes in your portfolio.  As we've all been drafted to discharge next week's annual grounds clean-up, the photos we take will demonstrate your duty to others, and as a bonus, help you discover and define your unique self.

As you evolve through this project, I'm enlisting you to evaluate yourselves on important things.  For example, how effectively can you establish yourself as an enhanced subject?  To future employers, you are essentially how you exhibit yourself, and only certain kinds of subjects are equipped to get certain kinds of jobs.  Learning to edit your unique expressions and experiences for a competitive economy will be the subject of your education this year.

Today we're going to facilitate your future success with our first hands-on activity, focusing on the fundamentals of organizational skills.  In an effective fashion, please find your way to the Resource Table (yes, the one with the crayons), and familiarize yourself with your construction paper, glue and individual containers of macaroni.  Watch Misha walking.  Is that walking in an effective fashion?  Yes, Misha.  That's better.  Very favourable!

No, no, Ricky.  We don't know yet if you're a Creative Type or not. Put down the glitter glue.

This is MBA in a nutshell. Who the fuck says an MBA is a masters degree? What the fuck kind of field is "Business Administration"?

PhD Comics: MBA, is that even really graduate school?

[Hoser McRhizzy]

Thanks for the mittens, Taxman. 

This is MBA in a nutshell.

  It was meant to be a kindergarten class, but I guess it's one-size-fits-all.

MBA, is that even really graduate school?

Maybe.  In it's most distilled form.  No critical social analysis, no science, no history, nothing.  Except as it relates to constructing yourself as the perfect little neoliberal subject.  It's not what I think school should be about, but if they want to pay a couple thousand to stick the word Master after their name, at least they're being upfront about it.  No "I'm doing this for science/betterment of humanity/in the interest of our future/etc" when all they honestly want is a petty title.  Maybe it's the modern equivalent of people with too much money and no respect paying the king for the privilege of being called "Lord"?

What worries me is that they seep out of that departmental container.  I see them everywhere, in every discipline, taking over the administration of education.  They require that you use their language, their FORMS.

Hell Yes!

Glad you got a kick out of it.  Do you still hear them, bleating in unison?  Because I imagine the kids pulling back hard from this sort kind of conditioning.  Wishful thinking on my part?

[yoda]"Smell a lie like a fart in a car", children can.  Walking bullshit detectors, they are.[/yoda]

(also, thanks again to Dok.  That dictionary is brilliant)

[Kai]

What worries me is that they seep out of that departmental container.  I see them everywhere, in every discipline, taking over the administration of education.  They require that you use their language, their FORMS.

They are the bureaucrat of the academic world. Fits just perfectly with this reality.

Me, I wouldn't mind if the whole degree disappeared forever.

[Hoser McRhizzy]

What worries me is that they seep out of that departmental container.  I see them everywhere, in every discipline, taking over the administration of education.  They require that you use their language, their FORMS.

They are the bureaucrat of the academic world. Fits just perfectly with this reality.

Me, I wouldn't mind if the whole degree disappeared forever.

The degree won't disappear.  Principals and Presidents need it too much.

[Kai]

What worries me is that they seep out of that departmental container.  I see them everywhere, in every discipline, taking over the administration of education.  They require that you use their language, their FORMS.

They are the bureaucrat of the academic world. Fits just perfectly with this reality.

Me, I wouldn't mind if the whole degree disappeared forever.

The degree won't disappear.  Principals and Presidents need it too much.

Bullshit. Thats the excuse that people use to get jobs as principals and presidents.