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The most hideously written piece of emo feces I have ever seen

Started by Sir Fronkensteen, The Hawk, August 19, 2010, 09:32:54 PM

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Sir Fronkensteen, The Hawk

Quote from: curiosity on August 20, 2010, 03:03:47 AM
Hey hey hey! Spoiler alerts, mister! I haven't gotten that far. Voldemort just gave Enoby the gun to kill Vampire Potter and now she's making out with Draco on the way back to Hogwarts.

I have to give this link to the guys in #nanowrimo. Some of them write 'Real HP Fanfic', whatever that means. Hehehe. HAHAHA.

Honey, that's the beginning, what he quoted.

Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.

What?!?!?!?!?! I must have missed it through the rain of bloody tears down my pallid face, obscuring my lapis lazuli eyes . . .
Weevil-Infested Badfun Wrongsex Referee From The 9th Earth
Slick and Deranged Wombat of Manhood Questioning
Hulking Dormouse of Lust and DESPAIR™
Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS

"The only way we can ever change anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy." - Akala  'Find No Enemy'.

President Television

This fanfic is infamous. It still deserves more attention, though, for pretty much exemplifying everything that should be avoided when writing fiction.
My shit list: Stephen Harper, anarchists that complain about taxes instead of institutionalized torture, those people walking, anyone who lets a single aspect of themselves define their entire personality, salesmen that don't smoke pipes, Fredericton New Brunswick, bigots, philosophy majors, my nemesis, pirates that don't do anything, criminals without class, sociopaths, narcissists, furries, juggalos, foes.

LMNO

Quote from: Doktor Plague on August 20, 2010, 05:40:51 AM
This fanfic is infamous. It still deserves more attention, though, for pretty much exemplifying everything that should be exploited when writing fiction.

You know you want to read more.

Cramulus


Freeky


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

You guys are going to be so jealous.

I own this in printed and bound hardcopy.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ

I must name my first children Enoby and Goffik in tribute

Akara

It's like a palsy victim doing brain surgery with a pipe wrench.

No u

WARNING!!
The preceding post may appear to make no sense.  Trying to make sense of this post may cause injury or even death.  Consult a physician before reading. 
Use with a good diet or exercise plan.  Do not read if you are pregnant or think you may be pregnant. 
Do not read if taking SSRI or tricyclic antidepressants, or if pregnant or lactating. 
After reading, if you have an erection for more than 4 hours, seek medical attention immediately. 

Sir Fronkensteen, The Hawk

For teh lulz, I looked up that Tara Gillespie bitch around last december on myspace and trolled her.

:lulz:

Stelpa

This is old but hilarious. She took it offline (she is no fun!) but some awesome /b/tards hosted it for all to see  :lulz:

Anyways, the best part is the dramatic readings! They are all over youtube, people attemting to read it in a most serious manner. Classic  :D

e.g. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UA_VSQqn32M

Teehee, dumbleydore

EDIT: Darnit, Cram beat me to it  :argh!:

Juana

Quote from: Sir Fronkensteen Cheese Bitch on September 10, 2010, 11:23:47 PM
For teh lulz, I looked up that Tara Gillespie bitch around last december on myspace and trolled her.

:lulz:
That was probably a troll, too. There are a million of 'em out there, and it probably wasn't the actual Gillespie.
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

No u

Quote from: Hover Cat on September 11, 2010, 12:51:27 AM
Quote from: Sir Fronkensteen Cheese Bitch on September 10, 2010, 11:23:47 PM
For teh lulz, I looked up that Tara Gillespie bitch around last december on myspace and trolled her.

:lulz:
That was probably a troll, too. There are a million of 'em out there, and it probably wasn't the actual Gillespie.

It had her real picture.
WARNING!!
The preceding post may appear to make no sense.  Trying to make sense of this post may cause injury or even death.  Consult a physician before reading. 
Use with a good diet or exercise plan.  Do not read if you are pregnant or think you may be pregnant. 
Do not read if taking SSRI or tricyclic antidepressants, or if pregnant or lactating. 
After reading, if you have an erection for more than 4 hours, seek medical attention immediately. 

Juana

Quote from: FireWillow on September 11, 2010, 01:54:04 AM
Quote from: Hover Cat on September 11, 2010, 12:51:27 AM
Quote from: Sir Fronkensteen Cheese Bitch on September 10, 2010, 11:23:47 PM
For teh lulz, I looked up that Tara Gillespie bitch around last december on myspace and trolled her.

:lulz:
That was probably a troll, too. There are a million of 'em out there, and it probably wasn't the actual Gillespie.

It had her real picture.
One of these?
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."