PD: The Movie: First Draft completed!

[Triple Zero]

The Robot Ending should have something to do with "there are only 23 real people on this planet, all the other ones are robots believing they are people" -- as well as the "Robot" line of questioning in Cram's "23 Things to Amuse Yourself while you're Waiting" (anyone got a link to that?)

Also my name as Triple Zero, 000, etc is up for whatever you want to do with it.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Oh. Well then I'm the cult of personality in charge of the West Coast.

[Placid Dingo]

Am I cool to play around with your character Nigel, or would you rather I take what you offer or leave you out completely.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Am I cool to play around with your character Nigel, or would you rather I take what you offer or leave you out completely.

Play around! I'm cool with whatever you come up with.

[Placid Dingo]

Ta.

Also;

There is a screech, and we see a pterodactyl burst through the stained glass window and shoots straight for 000, bowling them over. It sits on their chest, screeches out its terrible cry and lurches forward to drive its beak into 000's head. As it does, a blade flashes through it's neck. SUU has reached it first. She grabs 000's hand.

Suu: Come on

More breaking glass. They are clearly under attack. RICHTER pulls two large guns out from under his shirt and begins to fire at the beasts.

Cram: Sweet merciful fuck!

CRAM pulls out an electronic device and begins to search through a list: "CATS, TROUT, BADGERS, GOPHERS..."
CUT TO LMNO holding a pterodactyl by the wings while DR HOWL punches it repeatedly.
CUT TO RICHTER who is now pinned against the wall. He grasps his suspenders, activating the flamethrower in the centre of his chest, setting the pterodactyl alight. He then uses the fire extinguisher in his watch to blow out the flames in his shirt.
CUT TO SUU slicing a pterodactyl in half, as RATATOST and FAUST wrestle another to the ground.
CUT TO CRAM still looking for the right option. "GRASSHOPPERS, MONKEYS, FLYING SQUIRRELS" He looks thoughtful, then presses the last option.
CUT TO SUU having the sword knocked out of her hand, being knocked to the ground by a pterodactly. RHWN rushes to her aid, and is similarly disabled.
CUT TO PAYNE being dragged away by pterodactyls.

Payne: Richter!!

CUT TO RICHTER, whose entire head is inside the mouth of a pterodactyl. He mumbles a reply. This looks like the end. Suddenly, the squawking and screeching stops, as a dull rumble is heard, slowing growing louder. A large set of doors fly open and a mass of flying squirrels shoot into the room, coming to the aid of our heroes. They attack the pterodactyl hordes. RICHTER'S pterodactyl looks worried. RICHTER punches it in the neck, and it flees. Those alive escape. The squirrels go back the way they came. There is silence. Then a glass falls off the edge of a desk, followed by panicked scrambling. SUU approaches, sword in hand. We see the terrified pterodactyl looking for a way out. SUU'S blade shoots forward, and is stopped at the last moment by a walking stick. PAN upwards to reveal CRAM, who has saved the creatures life.

CRAM: I want this one alive.



*****

ALSO, I apologise by I am still a little bit of a n00b here so please correct me if i screw up your pronouns.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

LOL

[Placid Dingo]

The pterodactyl is in CRAM'S DUNGEON, chained to a post.

CRAM: Who are you and what do you want?

PTERODACTL: (Screeches)

CRAM: Who speaks pterodactyl?

RICHTER: I have a translator. (Sets it up)

CRAM: What do you want?

PTERODACTYL: (Through translator; inexplicably in a Russian accent) I have come to kill all the Discordians who oppose the Grand Emperor of Earth, so that nobody may stand in the way to prevent the glorious brainwashing of humanity at 11:23 tomorrow.

CUT TO PAYNE making notes.

000: That's oddly specific.

PTERODACTYL: Also to kidnap and brainwash the one you call 'Reverend Rodger'.

Concerned glances at HOWL. He is scratching his chin; has not been paying attention.

CRAM: Who do you work for?

The pterodactyl hesitates. SUU reveals her weaponry.

PTERODACTYL: I... work... for...

A burst of blue electricity. The pterodactyl screams and dies. PAYNE approaches, feels around the dead creatures neck. He makes a cut and pulls out a small electronic device.

PAYNE: Self destructing listening device. Our prehistoric friend faced extinction if he dared to disobey his master. (Cracks it open; There is a IMEI number, and the word FROND-CO)

NIGEL: What's it say?

*A BEAT*

PAYNE: Nothing.

There is a crack of thunder. CRAM pulls out his pocketwatch, which measure the weather. A weather report measure in on there, with five degrees of weather> Lol Rain - It's raining hard - Gosh! That's heavy rain - SWEET MERCIFUL FUCK - and - HIT THE RED BUTTON!! The needle is wobbling between the first two.

CRAM: RWHN, Faust, you stay with Rodger, keep him safe. Trip, Nigel; you two go tell the Mayor. Tell him the professor sent you. He owes me a favour. Suu, Richter assemble a team. I want you to travel to visit a Dr friend of mine. He may know something about Pterodactlys. And Ratatost... you're with me. There's science to do!

[Cramulus]

 

[Placid Dingo]

We see ECH in what appears to be a labratory. He pours several toxic looking (sometimes glowing) substances into a bowl, mixes furiously. He puts on his safetly glasses and breaks an egg, mixing it in, and pours the thick ooze into a tray. There's a knock at the door.

ECH: Come in.

ECH places the tray into a large furnace and walks into the room. We see the 'lab' is a small section cautioned off from the main room; a large authoritative Mayor's office. 000 and NIGEL enter.

000: Nice lab. What are you working on?

ECH: Muffins. Still can't quite get the recipe right. How can I help you fine people?

Nigel: We were attacked by Pterodacyls last night. I was hoping you could help us figure out where they came from. We don't know who to trust, but a friend recommended you to us.

ECH: Pterodactlys? Like the long-tailed ptersaurs from Italy?

Nigel: What? No, that's a preondactylus.

ECH: No, a preondactlyus is a person with webbed toes.

000: That's syndactlus.

ECH: Now, I'm sure that's the greek word for finger.

Nigel: That's 'Dactylus'.

ECH: (Throwing up hands) I'm sorry, I was a tactful as I could be.

*PING*

ECH: Ahh the muffins are ready.

ECH leaves to get the muffins. NIGEL and 000 exchange looks; 'this guy is wasting our time'. ECH returns with muffins. Some glow. NIGEL'S seems to actually have developed sentience, and slowly tries to escape. 000 bites his muffin. He immediately regrets it.

ECH: So...?

000: Mmm... I ah... bite it, and can ah... taste it.

ECH: Yes, that's what I love about muffins.

*A BEAT*

000: Well Mr Mayor, (Nudges Nigel, still staring at the muffin) thank you for your time.

They stand and begin to leave.

000: (quietly to Nigel) I don't know why Cram bothered recommending that moron.

ECH: (sounding angry) Wait!

They stop. ECH walks up to them. His cheerful countenance is replaced with a savage seriousness.

ECH: You know the Professor?

Nigel: Yes.

ECH: You should have said so. There's no time to waste. Follow me.

[Freeky]

Do me?

Doktor Howl's side kick who people watching assume will end up in a romantic relationship with him even though it does not happen.

Oh, oh, Freeky you also need this: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HyperspaceMallet (in the form of a meathammer of course)

1.

2. TRIP YOU ARE AMAZING!

Also Mistress Freeky is presently cast as Cain's henchlady but I can mix and match.

AWESOME.

Also, this is some really great work, PD.

[Cain]

Freeky would be Howl's lab assistant, if anyone.

That said, what is Kai doing with all those locusts he is breeding....?

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

 

[Freeky]

Freeky would be Howl's lab assistant, if anyone.

That said, what is Kai doing with all those locusts he is breeding....?

What's he doing in there? We have a right to know!

[Doktor Howl]

Do me?

Doktor Howl's side kick who people watching assume will end up in a romantic relationship with him even though it does not happen.

[Adios]

I want to be the guy that can only walk on ceilings after a horriblebadwrong Dok Howl experiment. Of course I would be required to pee in everyones scotch.