INVASION: A Silly Ego Game

[Richter]

This game got started by GM Jim from my college gaming club. 
Some sort of invasion is happening.  Monsters, Zombies, whatever (non-important), are barging into the communal relaxing, gaming, bullshitting room.

What would happen next?
Who would do what?

Rules are simple. 
1. Nobody survives, each individual's story ends with their own death.
2.  You can't write your own, but yo can write other people's.

Examples:
Ryan, the short tempered martial artist:  "Ryan would get that silly 'I'ma fight now' grin and jump into the fray.  He'd take out several opponents, then accidentally knock out a retaining wall.  The roof would fall, killing everyone."

Bear, the fastidious maintainer of order: "Bear would fight to the death to protect the bookshelf.  More accurately, his own."

Have at!

[Telarus]

Chuck Norris' WORST DAY EVER.

Chuck remarked to himself as the horde of entropic corpse-things broke into the crowd of shoppers assembled in the mall's 'Town Square' awaiting his appearance. The next 15 minutes of carnage are not fully describable by tribal monkey-speech. the survivors (autograph seekers and the like) who were lucky enough to put Chuck between themselves and the Horde (well, those not also taken out by random bone shrapnel) only have fragments of the aftermath. Great care was taken to re-assemble the story.

It seems that sometime after clearing a red trench through the ravening mass towards the exit, in the parking-lot Chuck snap-kicked a gibbering skull so hard that it achieved superluminous flight and managed a circumnavigational orbital strike back to it's place of origin. This strange intercontinental cranial missile's ludicrous impact not only didn't kill good ol Norris, but also knocked him to the foothills of Valhalla late last week, leading to a stunned pair of Valkyrie-maids-in-training suddenly learning how to build a jacuzzi style hot-tub  by cutting and planing boards from the local trees using nothing but their BARE HANDS. The Episode ends when Chuck learns that Ambrosia is made from fermented goatsmilk and honey.