Allow me to introduce myself...

[Cramulus]

Let it be known forever that RICHTER won the contest which involved shitting on Hunter S Durden's face,

but EAST COAST HUSTLE has the quickest ass in the northeast

sadly (for my overworked anus), I actually pooped 10 times in 24 hours.

yes, I kept track.

but, in the interest of full disclosure, by the time I saw this thread I had already pooped 8 of those times.

so no, I did not use a card with every flush. but I would have. I hate spending money on toilet paper if I can help it.

ECH,
is the reason YUO always find a public bathroom stall with no shitwipe in it

roger also won:

I just shat on the whole sheet, to a depth of 1'.

GAME ORVER!

and during the contest idem didn't crap for several days at once, he won this:

[The Great Pope of OUTSIDE]

...I do feel bad for the next noob who tries to introduce themselves here.

My apologies, unknown newbie.

[East Coast Hustle]

don't feel bad, everyone here gets exactly what they deserve.

oh, and welcome to PeeDee!

[Adios]

Since when did we start welcoming n00bs?

Fuck those wimps.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I don't think I shat for three days after eating those goddamn oranges.

[The Great Pope of OUTSIDE]

Ah...nevermind.

I seriously hate that noob.

[Gryphon66]

I think it's kinda crappy to join a group and not let folks know you're there.  I'm male, 44, western Georgia, US.  Been reading the PD, SubGenius, RAW stuff for 20 years without taking any of it too seriously.  Anyway, I don't plan to post unless I've got something to say.  Top o' the morning/afternoon/evening/night to you all.

[Triple Zero]

Xicked is pretty.  Reminds me of Squiddy.

I agree. What is with all the Discordian Hawtness lately?

What do you mean lately?

Ever since either

A) ECH took over / HIMEOBS bombed the place / we cleaned house
B) I arrived to PD

there's been a non-stop surge of Discordian HAWT.

Events A and B are kind of around the same date, so it's hard to tell which one is actually responsible for the continuous good looks.

[Adios]

Xicked is pretty.  Reminds me of Squiddy.

I agree. What is with all the Discordian Hawtness lately?

What do you mean lately?

Ever since either

A) ECH took over / HIMEOBS bombed the place / we cleaned house
B) I arrived to PD

there's been a non-stop surge of Discordian HAWT.

Events A and B are kind of around the same date, so it's hard to tell which one is actually responsible for the continuous good looks.

My bad!

[Triple Zero]

Roger.

Sorry, kid.

How the hell does HE win? He wasn't even in the contest! 

No you might be confused here, the orange eating contest is a different contest than the poo contest.

To see how the orange eating contest ended up, just read this thread: http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=25567.0 (it's a good read, I promise).

If you want to give it a try, I suppose you should post in that thread, stating when where and what you will do, and then extensively document your doing it. It's based on the honour system, we trust you. As well as me having a telepathic connection with oranges due to being Dutch (I could hear their screams that day).

[The Wizard]

Dr. James Semaj

Demographic: I'm a 17 year old living in the backwaters of PA.
Professional Info: High School student, currently looking for work.
Free time: Writing, reading, talking politics, literature, movies, comics,  philosophy, theology or history. Also run track and play soccer.
Interests: Comic books, pulp fiction, culture jamming, magic, activism, memetics, writing. I'm currently working on PulpGASM, my personal OM project. I'm currently studying the ways reality emulates fiction. So, I've been collecting stories on exceptional people, places, events, pretty much any event that sounds like it came out of a book.
How did I find Eris: I'd heard about Discordianism through my father, during one of my families conversations on religion. When I was 16 I read Illuminatus! which lead to several epiphanies. A couple months later I found this place and haven't looked back.

[Judge Nasty]

The One, The Only, Judge Nasty

Demo- I'm 26 years old, grew up in the DC area, and spend as much time there as possible.

Professional- I graduated from Georgetown with a double major in Political Science and Journalism. I applied for an internship with The American Conservative Magazine while in college a few years ago, I've been working there ever since.

Free Time- Friends, clubs, girls, cars, information.

Interests- Anything and everything political.

I stumbled upon a copy of the Principia Discordia while working on a piece for TAC.

[LMNO]

Hey, welcome.  We don't get too many conservatives around these parts.  You may consider wearing a helmet.

And keep in mind that evidence trumps ideology, every time.

[Doktor Howl]

Hey, welcome.  We don't get too many conservatives around these parts.  You may consider wearing a helmet.

THIS, depending on what kind of conservative he is.  If he's a Taft conservative, he'll be fine...But I'm pretty sure they're extinct.

And keep in mind that evidence trumps ideology, every time.

And THAT, though you really can't explain that to people who have a label for their ideology.

To be fair, though, he only said that he applied for an internship with a conservative magazine (which explains why he's a "jornolist" instead of a "journalist" ), not that he was the second coming of Rush Limbaugh.  If it pays, write it.  It is irresponsible and wrong to not make money off of other peoples' idiocy.

[Cain]

TAC is a pretty good magazine, actually.  While I don't necessarily agree with all pieces in there (which would be hard, given their list of featured writers), they seem a lot more open-minded and forward looking than the name would otherwise suggest.  Especially in recent years, as the paleoconservative focus has lessened.

They should probably stop running the Pat Buchanan op-eds though, except in a comedy section.