ATTN: DOKTOR HOWL

[tyrannosaurus vex]

I suppose it'll do for now.

[Doktor Howl]

Is today troll Dok Howl day again?

It's troll day for Vex whenever he percieves weakeness, or someone at a low point.

He's like Wade in that respect, only more subtle about it.

As for why they always go after me, well, Nigel's theory is that I am their King, and they simply can't help it.

Well you are a nexus of a Rage.

But.....I am fucking confused.

It's really simple.  Vex's assburgers flares up every once in a while - especially when his ironic lifestyle is insulted - and then he turns into Wade for a while.

Then a week or so later, he tries to act like nothing happened, when he realizes that nobody likes him.

[Doktor Howl]

I suppose it'll do for now.

And for tomorrow.
And for next week.
And for next month.
And...Well, you get the picture.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

I can only guess, but judging by the way you react to things, I'd have to guess that most of your thoughts involve My Little Pony.

I can't help that I am instinctively drawn to pissing you off. Maybe it's just a clash of personalities, maybe it's me being inexcusably dense and looking for the absolute worst moment to poke fun at you. I can only describe myself as short-sighted, driven by an inane desire to wreak havoc and upset the balance, wherever I am, whoever I am with, for no constructive reason at all.

You, on the other hand, are imminently reasonable; your actions are unquestionable, and your wild assumptions are more reliable than most people's well-researched facts. You are the epitome of enlightenment, even if some lesser apes might fall short of a complete understanding of your ways. You've got it all figured out, and it's no wonder you get a little impatient, waiting for the rest of the planet to catch up.

I am unable to apologize for the time being, however, because an apology at this point would be empty, even if I meant it sincerely. Apologies can only be offered between equals; and since I am so clearly not one of yours, I'm afraid you will have to go without.

Thanks, Wade.  Aren't you glad you got that off your chest?

You know Dok, now that you mention it.....

But I thought Wade died somewhere overseas in a horrible fire among people he hated.... 

[Doktor Howl]

I can only guess, but judging by the way you react to things, I'd have to guess that most of your thoughts involve My Little Pony.

I can't help that I am instinctively drawn to pissing you off. Maybe it's just a clash of personalities, maybe it's me being inexcusably dense and looking for the absolute worst moment to poke fun at you. I can only describe myself as short-sighted, driven by an inane desire to wreak havoc and upset the balance, wherever I am, whoever I am with, for no constructive reason at all.

You, on the other hand, are imminently reasonable; your actions are unquestionable, and your wild assumptions are more reliable than most people's well-researched facts. You are the epitome of enlightenment, even if some lesser apes might fall short of a complete understanding of your ways. You've got it all figured out, and it's no wonder you get a little impatient, waiting for the rest of the planet to catch up.

I am unable to apologize for the time being, however, because an apology at this point would be empty, even if I meant it sincerely. Apologies can only be offered between equals; and since I am so clearly not one of yours, I'm afraid you will have to go without.

Thanks, Wade.  Aren't you glad you got that off your chest?

You know Dok, now that you mention it.....

But I thought Wade died somewhere overseas in a horrible fire among people he hated.... 

Wade wasn't just a person, he was a state of mind.  Vex occasionally writes some good shit, but then he drinks his Jeckyl Juice and turns into Wade for a while.

I honestly think he can't help it.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

Is today troll Dok Howl day again?

It's troll day for Vex whenever he percieves weakeness, or someone at a low point.

He's like Wade in that respect, only more subtle about it.

As for why they always go after me, well, Nigel's theory is that I am their King, and they simply can't help it.

Well you are a nexus of a Rage.

But.....I am fucking confused.

It's really simple.  Vex's assburgers flares up every once in a while - especially when his ironic lifestyle is insulted - and then he turns into Wade for a while.

Then a week or so later, he tries to act like nothing happened, when he realizes that nobody likes him.

True enough, except the part about my ironic lifestyle. Its ironic, but that isn't what I like about it. As for nobody liking me, I guess that's just the price I pay for the Karl Rove of Discordianism writing me off as a sore loser.

You kinda do have the same mouth shape as Karl Rove, tho.

[Don Coyote]

He is a Republican mastermind?

[Doktor Howl]

the Karl Rove of Discordianism

Oh, I like that.   

[Doktor Howl]

He is a Republican mastermind?

And I have no pulse.

[Don Coyote]

He is a Republican mastermind?

And I have no pulse.

Zombie Republican in control of other zombie Republicans, masquerading as Discordians?

[Doktor Howl]

He is a Republican mastermind?

And I have no pulse.

Zombie Republican in control of other zombie Republicans, masquerading as Discordians?

Shit.  Now you have to be eliminated.  In the medical sense of the word.

[Don Coyote]

He is a Republican mastermind?

And I have no pulse.

Zombie Republican in control of other zombie Republicans, masquerading as Discordians?

Shit.  Now you have to be eliminated.  In the medical sense of the word.

via a catheter?

Wait which kind? I can think of at least two kinds...DAMNIT.


ETA

I AM NOT AN INFECTIOUS AGENT!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I actually don't attack anything very often. And I haven't even really been following that thread with much enthusiasm, I just saw an opportunity to be crass and impolite, and seized it, because of the lower quality of my character. I wouldn't say I'm a coward, though, I suspect I'm much worse than that.

1. Dok Howl hates people.
2. Hipsters are people.
3. Therefore, Dok Howl hates you. Fuck off.

I don't think that's quite fair. Dok doesn't hate all people, just the ones who are too full of gall, who lack a proper understanding and acceptance of their places in the pecking order.

Wrong. Dok doesn't hate his friends. Everyone else = hate.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I don't think that's quite fair. Dok doesn't hate all people, just the ones who are too full of gall, who lack a proper understanding and acceptance of their places in the pecking order.

I really can't quite get over the way you just insulted, in a single swoop, all of Roger's friends and everyone he respects. We, apparently, by virtue of not being hated, are all boot-lickers, content with our "place in the pecking order". All controlled, of course, by his mind lazors because we are incapable of thinking for ourselves.

Fuck you.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

I don't think that's quite fair. Dok doesn't hate all people, just the ones who are too full of gall, who lack a proper understanding and acceptance of their places in the pecking order.

I really can't quite get over the way you just insulted, in a single swoop, all of Roger's friends and everyone he respects. We, apparently, by virtue of not being hated, are all boot-lickers, content with our "place in the pecking order". All controlled, of course, by his mind lazors because we are incapable of thinking for ourselves.

Fuck you.

Cool.